I'm never satisfied, and I never will be. How can I make myself dissapear?

Question

People tell my I'm pretty, beautiful, etc. But I'll never believe it. After complaining about my looks so much, I think people are just telling me this to shut me up but they swear they aren't. I can't stand the way I look. I never had a problem with it before. I used to think I was pretty decent, but everyday it gets worse and worse. It seems like everyone around me is perfect. I can write down a million things I absolutly hate about myself. I'd do anything to look like someone else. I just want to dissapear completly. Eventually, I'll probably have such a low self esteem, I won't want to leave the house. I don't want it to get that far. I have friends, my family is good. All I do is complain about how ugly I am, fishing for complamaints. All this does is make people like me less and less because it annoys them so much. Just kill me?

Answer 1

Actually, you're really not alone. I went through the SAME exact thing. I don't know how old you are, but this might have to do with age as well. I found that as I started to get older and grow up, I lost a lot of those self-conscious feelings I used to get. Sometimes they would be so bad---I would be trying to put on eyeliner or do my hair, and when one thing went wrong, I would start crying and just refuse to go out of the house. If the smallest things in your appearance bother you when they're not perfect, you'll know exactly where I'm coming from.
I'm constantly told that I'm beautiful. From family, strangers, co-workers, whatever...and it is NEVER enough. And maybe this is more of something that happens to people who happen to be nice looking to begin with. In fact, my mom was reading the book "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell", a memoir about this guy who was pretty much a player, and he would prey on insecure girls. Guess who were the MOST insecure? PRETTY girls. Models, especially.
I think the one thing that really helped me was finding ways to keep busying. Get a job, find something extra to do. Get your MIND off yourself, that's where the major weakness is---a wandering mind.
Doing this helped a lot. And I realized that being pretty wasn't going to help me with some of my problems anyway. I've known ugly girls who have had more boyfriends (I've never even had one...yet another bad thing about being self-conscious), dates, friends, whatever, than I have. And it's NOT because they're pretty--it's because they are comfortable with themselves. What is being pretty going to get you? An award? And do the complements really help, or are they making you think about how you are not perfect even more?
I also got on Paxil CR last year. I was just a nervous kind of person, and I was VERY hesitant to get on this medication. But I've been on it for almost two years now, and it has worked wonders. It's actually almost got rid of my insecurities completely. I rarely feel unsatisfied. So maybe try to explore something in this area too.
Anyway, this is long, but don't give up! This is SUCH a common problem, and I bet if you talked to anyone your age about it, they'd give in and admit to feeling the same way. The most important part is that you don't let it ruin your life. Because you don't deserve that.

Answer 2

You already seem to be suffering from what I would consider dangerously low self esteem. I find it particularly troubling that there is an element of self-loathing in what you write here. That is a bad thing.

Please consider asking your parents to take you for some counseling. I thing you will find it helpful to talk to someone who is not a patronizing friend or family member - someone who can help you explore the underlying reasons why you feel the way you do, and help you turn your life around.

Hang in there. It may get worse before it gets better, I won't lie about that, but it will get better eventually - that I am sure of

Answer 3

First i just want to ask you how old you are? im asking because i feel that at a certin age we all feel like we dont fit in, that we look ugly and that nothing we try can make us look pretty. I still sometiems have days (lol ok weeks) where i feel that way. The feeling tends to go away. My theory is that the older you get the more comfortable you feel with yourself. You begin to realize that you dont have to fit in, that you have your own style and that what others do doesnt matter. I think you should stop thinking about how you look. find something else to occupy your time with and make sure that everytime you start to think that you look ugly, tell yourself "who cares" and then think about something else. I hoep this edvice kinda helps.

Answer 4

You should see a therapist about having low self confidence and low self esteem.

Just as a positive note: in 80 years, no one's going to care what you look like. You probably look great now. But in the end we're all going to be wrinkly and old anyway.

What really matters is whether or not you're happy. If you're unhappy because you don't like the way you look, then I think we have bigger problems than the pimple on your nose. I'm also overly concerned about my physique, but I'd be honestly happier if I just didn't give a damn. People admire happy people, not pretty people. You may get more guys to hit on you and more girls to be envious of you if you're pretty, but you'll get more people (guys and girls) to love you, and look up to you for support if you're happy.

IF you want to worry about it, worry about it, but it's not going to get you anywhere. You're going to be wrinkly in 60 years anyway. :o) (Unless you get MASSIVE plastic surgery every 5 years lol ^^;;)

Answer 5

I know how you feel. People tell me I am pretty, and beatiful...but I always think they are trying to be nice to me, I never believe it.

People around me always seem better than me. I hate it.

Now what has changed in your life from when you thought you were "decent", until now. You have to really think hard and go inside your self.

Now hang in there, you might be depressed or need medication.

Have you heard of body dismorphic disorder? You could be suffering from something. Please don't do anything foolish. You may need counseling, but you are not alone.

Answer 6

Try talking to a therapist before it's to late.I always hated my body ,always thinking how skinny I was.My sister 's always told me "no way, you're just right" yet peers would always make fun of me.I wanted to surf,but, was always embarrassed to take my shirt off or Ware shorts For fear of being called "chicken legs"Well I'm 46 yrs old now & believe it or not I still dislike my body.Anyways,please do what ever it is you have to do but,dont do anything bad to you're self.Love you're inner self & go from there. Good luck.

Answer 7

I feel the same sometimes. Just think of the best things about you and you will gain confidence. Do not let anyone put you down and if they do, you need to put them in their place. Also, it helps having friends that do not drag you down and make you feel miserable.

Try joining a sports group or gym to meet new friends. And the gym will make you feel happier, healthier and you will meet new friends.

Answer 8

i know you probly dont want to here this, but God made everyone is his eyes and in his image
so he is affended when you think you are ugly.
justr saying
[ and i dont know if your christian or anything]
but i just wanted to say that.
but dont do anything crazy you will regret later

Answer 9

u need positive thinking