My husband and i go out to the bar every so often and once and a while he will make a comment on how pretty or hot someone is, after that i keep trying to look at her and compare myself to her and i try to figure out how i can change myself to be more pretty or sexy like that girl. i am not bad looking and i am not over weight, i am quit confident most of the time so why do i do that?
2007-02-04 14:56:00 · 18 answers · asked by I♥Karma 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If the a$$hole does it again, make a point of teling him which guys in the bar you fancy the pants off; even if not true! See how he likes it!
2007-02-04 15:01:17 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure if you know this, but your husband is comparing you with the women that he looks at. Why do you even allow this of him?
Have you ever thought of maybe instead of going to bars, try going somewhere better and more romantic like a nice restaurant where the two of you can only look at each other, rather than having him scoping out women at a bar each time they pass by? Or how about just staying at home, get a movie and watch it together with a glass of wine. Just some place where it will just be the two of you. Or, is he not a romantic man?
His eyes should be on you! You should not feel insecure at all if you are happy with the way you look. He is the one making you feel like that and the bar is not a good place to spend time with your husband.
Remember, don't be someone who you are not. Just be yourself! And, find other places to go too! (smile)
2007-02-04 23:11:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kind of comment is insensitive and I think you should let your husband know that it makes you uncomfortable and request he keep his thoughts to himself.
You could have the best body in the world and still feel insecure. Your insecurity can be a very complex thing. If you feel confident most of the time and the only moment you feel insecure is with these comments, well cut the problem right there.
Communicate this detail to your husband and explain that it really bothers you and that you do not appreciate the comments even if he sees them as harmless. If you have a fair level of communication in your marriage, he should get the message.
Good luck.
2007-02-04 23:17:24 · answer #3 · answered by Gorgo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off a man who makes a statement about another woman with you present leaves a lot to be desired when it comes to respecting you. If it causes this much concern that you think about changing to appear like a woman he commented on, you are just wasting your time, and probably wasting time with him too. And you married this guy??? I would take keys to the car and if he commented again, I would excuse myself and drive home. Then when he has a moment of decency, I would explain to him how the comments are uncalled for and needless---then I would clearly state that he is boorish and immature and you will no longer tolerate it.. You are entitled to your feelings---and he is supposed to be caring and respectful of you. You are beautiful in your own right--no need to think you have to change. You are talented and most of all intelligent. Please speak to him as soon as possible, you need to stop all these thoughts--when you two go out it should be for a fun evening--not a parade of insults. Get some guts and stand up for yourself. I would also reconsider going to a bar with him--can't you two find something else to do when you have time to go out? Good luck
2007-02-04 23:10:18 · answer #4 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sister, you need some serious "confidence" tricks. Get all dolled up next time and go out to the bar with hubby, then start playing around, flirting a bit. Let him know how hot you find some of the men there too...little tit for tat will have him salivating. If not, it's time for a little more forward thinking. :) Good luck!
2007-02-04 23:29:51 · answer #5 · answered by Luvy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
about the same thing happened to me today, we went to the local bar, i know everyone men and women. Most men are extremely friendly with me. well today there is one (girl) being rather outspoken tomy husband, i got really insecure and mad and jelous, really insecure. I think it is in every woman. No matter how pretty or wonderful we are there is always someone or something that triggers that little insecurity. I know it hasn't helped much, but if it happens again just remember, stay the same dont change for no man, because if thats what he wanted she would be with him and not you. Wish i could give you better advise, but thats all i have. hope it helps
2007-02-04 23:29:05 · answer #6 · answered by DITZ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would happen if when you are in the bar, you'd look over at some guy and say, boy is he hot!!! Or boy is that guy great looking? Would it bother him? Sometimes just turn the tables on them. There's no need to change yourself. He married you, just start and have some confidence. Good Luck!
2007-02-04 23:01:24 · answer #7 · answered by Suzie- Q 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He takes you home every night. He thinks you're sexy and attractive. Guys are going to look at women and think wow she's really hot or she has really big....
Anyway your husband should try being a little less vocal about these hot chicks and focus his attention on you when you're together.
If nothing else, do the same thing he does to you and see how he likes it.
2007-02-04 23:01:56 · answer #8 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is only normal to compare yourself to these women your husband says is hot. Maybe turn the tables on him and next hot man you see let your hubby know you think the other man is hot. Im sure he will shut up then.
2007-02-05 00:05:01 · answer #9 · answered by Momof1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder why your husband makes coments like that about other women. Of course it's caused an insecurity- I can't blame you.I guess you could just tell him how it makes you feel and ask him what he thinks your marriage will gain from his comments.
2007-02-04 23:04:38 · answer #10 · answered by Jade 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋