If your husband abused you all the time both verbally& physically., if he drserted you financially after 14 yrs., If u found evidence he carried on in the marriage, if he reestablished himself out of state due to a restraining order, would you tell him u were in love w/ another man & have been since he left-even though u r not w/ the other man& probably never will be due to circumstances?The husband clearly wants out but refuses to file 4 divorce.He has refused counseling.We have 2 children
2007-02-04 14:28:37 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would definitely not tell him as he might hold this against you. men who abuse are always searching for control, if you tell him about the other man he will probably never sign the divorce papers (as his only form of control left over you).
Good for you for being brave enough to end the abusive relationship. That took a lot of courage.
2007-02-04 14:48:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don’t you file for divorce and get the child support?
You have to brake free from this abusive situation for the sake of your wellbeing and the children.
But I would suggest to you strongly: Do not mention your relationship with that other man what so ever.
Don’t give your abusive husband the weapon to fight you in court and start telling your kids stories about you.
Why you want to offer this man who abused you all through your marriage, the opportunity to hold anything against you??
What you will gain out of it?
You are only going to add more drama to your life and more reasons for him to start a new kind of insulting you by calling you names in front of your kids – if he didn’t do that already- !!
Dear,
You are in no-win situation with this man. Just file for the divorce and go on with your life
Stop the pain here and take care of yourself & the kids.
Good luck
2007-02-04 14:47:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! Why do you want him back? You said he was abusive physically and verbally; Is that what you want, are you crazy? NO, NO, a thousand times NO! Do not ever subject you or your children to this again. He has no need to know anything about you and as for the children, safety first and they're not safe with him or around him and the same goes for you. Good Luck!
2007-02-04 14:39:31 · answer #3 · answered by beamer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not tell him anything... Get out now and file for divorce asap since he is abusive... The sooner the better.. When the divorce is final then you can be with the other guy... But not until then. I wish you the best and take your kids with you when you go. Do not look back and do not ever go back to him! You file for divorce and soon!
2007-02-04 14:37:42 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't offer him any info.....even though he doesn't help financially now, you can get court ordered, alimony and child support.honey don't ever let a man hurt you again be glad he's gone, you file
2007-02-04 14:37:20 · answer #5 · answered by auntjewly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out of the marriage for you and the children
2007-02-04 14:32:37 · answer #6 · answered by bubba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you got grounds to get a divorce if you want one don't make up stories about another man abuse is enoughf
2007-02-08 08:40:14 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't complicate your life even more you don't need to tell him anything he deserves what u did, your are human with needs which is normal. f he loves you and your kids he would go to counseling. MOVE ON
2007-02-04 14:47:04 · answer #8 · answered by sara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get it off your chest, if your thinking about it, it is bothering you, honesty is the best policy.....Jesus loves you
2007-02-04 14:52:26 · answer #9 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just get the divorce and get on with life
2007-02-04 18:00:07 · answer #10 · answered by -------- 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋