I mean he goes out when he wants and it seems he wants to be at his friends all the time, and not with your wife and kids... He Spends the night out because he is drunk and can not drive. this is 5 days of the week.. . And he tells me Sorry and he can not change.. .. So is this right in a Marriage? I do not think so
2007-02-04 14:17:56 · 15 answers · asked by Better than Her 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like your "hubby" doesn't want to be tied down. If he is not willing to change and be a family man you might need to think long and hard and ask yourself, "Is this how I want to live the rest of my life?" Also if there are children involved is this how you want them to think a real marriage works? Hope you find the answers you're looking for and good luck!!!
2007-02-04 14:25:40 · answer #1 · answered by persha69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey: If he married you it is because he wanted to spend time with you. If you have children I hope it is because you had a mutual agreement that you would have them and raise them.
A marriage relationship is about the couple first, never the children or anyone else. A marriage is a man and a woman coming together and committing their lives to love and cherish, for richer or poorer until death does you part. If you wrote your own vows and the aforementioned was not included that was the beginning of it all. The fact that he spends time with someone else means that he is not responsible, does not value you (or is no longer attracted to you because you do not take care of your physical being which is VERY important). or he is simply cheating on you. There are also guys who just don't get it. They married, had children and now want out either in intention or in deed.
I would examine the whole situation according to what I have written here and have a talk with him. Perhaps he is not fulfilled with his own situation and he is simply trying to somehow escape. If you need to, you should also seek some professional help and act with an informed mind.
I wish you the best,
Mr. M on "marriage."
2007-02-04 22:30:55 · answer #2 · answered by Humberto M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is right and wrong in a marriage is a personal choice. There are women / men that would be okay with this situation, and there are women / men that would have been gone the first time it happened. You say that he tells you he cannot change, but now the question is can the two of you compromise or do you need to separate to find what you want?
2007-02-04 22:25:23 · answer #3 · answered by angelskisses75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might as well be single. Why did he get married if he is always gone drinking and hanging out with his buddies, and lets not forget him staying out all night. Are you sure that is what is really going on or is this something he tells you he is doing?
Step back and think about your marriage. Is it something you want to stay in with him not changing or maybe you need to let him know how you feel and give him an idea of what might happen if things don't change. Get some counseling if need be.
good luck.
2007-02-04 22:27:04 · answer #4 · answered by Clara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the getting drunk part and not being able to drive home is routine, it may be alcoholism or at a minimum, chronic abuse. If that is the case, you'll want to encourage him to seek professional help or help from AA-which he won't do either until he recognizes that there is a problem.
No, what he is doing is not right or fair to you, but he may not realize or accept that what he is doing is wrong. If it is alchol abuse, be prepared for a long, hard road ahead.
2007-02-04 22:30:58 · answer #5 · answered by Leroy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just b/c hes out doesnt mean he cheating, but it does give him opportunity so you should let him know that he cannot go out. I had the same problem with my husband and his response to me was well you never really made a big deal out of it, you never told me not to go...well I thought that just simply telling him that he went out too much and to be home at a certain time was enough but I guess you have to throw things and hit him upside his head a couple times to get a point across so just be persistent or lock him out and don't let him come back until he understands that you are not going to put up with his behavior.
2007-02-04 22:27:09 · answer #6 · answered by Forever_Young 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is compromise, If he wants to go out with his friends that is fine, but he should not do it all the time and he should come home when he does go. You should also be allowed to go out with your friends, Would he like it if you did this to him?
2007-02-04 22:30:16 · answer #7 · answered by hottie20 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not right, but was he like this before you two married? He needs to start being at home with his family. When he is home, does he come home to a loving wife, or does he come home to a nagging wife?
2007-02-04 22:27:21 · answer #8 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question by asking this... The guy isn't making you happy, nor do you like being married to him. I suggest that you ask him to counseling, if that doesn't work, time to move on from him.
2007-02-04 22:33:17 · answer #9 · answered by St.Jeb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband has a serious drinking problem I would suggest Alcoholics Anonymous.
2007-02-04 22:37:27 · answer #10 · answered by Stephen L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋