I need advice from a Christian (Serious answers please)?

Question

Would you divorce your husband if he cheated on you and now is serving time in jail for 7 years for selling drugs? Christians what would you do?
Also would I be wrong if I were to do the same thing back out of hurt? Thanks

Who would like the worst in God's eyes? The one who committed the adultrey first or the one who did it back out of revenge?

Who would look the worst in God's eyes? The one who committed the adultrey first or the one who did it back out of revenge?

Answer 1

Chyna,
This is the second time I've answered one of your questions - my heart really goes out to you. It seems like the pain is just jumping off the computer screen.

If your husband is in jail - then the two of you are separated. Seems like a great place to start, considering your circumstances. I sense that what you really want is resolution. You want the mess over with and you want the pain to go away. You want your life back and hope for something better than what you've been going through. Is this right?

If it is, then you need to take a new path, but the first step needs to be to the feet of Jesus, not to the courts and the lawyers. You need to know how much Jesus loves you. You need to know he forgives you. You need to personally receive his love more than anything. He wants time with you, he wants your company.

Read Ephesians chapter 3, especially the part towards verse 18 "... And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge ... ." Then read Romans 8:38, 39.

In John 21(?) Is a section on Peter, and Peter's distress. After the Lord rose again, he appeared to a very distraught disciple, Peter. Peter had denied him three times. Not knowing what to do, he went back to fishing. When Peter saw Jesus on the shore, he dove from the boat and swam to Jesus. He wanted to be with his Lord and receive his love and forgiveness.

Throw yourself to Jesus. Let him bring you comfort. Strengthen your bond with him.

... and then deal with your relationship

Anyway, that's a suggestion for you to consider. And please don't try to go through this as a lone ranger Christian. It's way to tough alone.

Answer 2

I would definitely divorce him. He cheated on you, and he's in jail. You don't owe him anything. So what if you divorce him out of hurt? You're hurt because he hurt you. There's nothing wrong with that. Don't start keeping score about who's more wrong and things like that. Sin is sin, and there isn't a grade scale for it. You don't need to commit adultery, either. Get a divorce, and ask God to help you find a husband who is a true Christian and a faithful man. Your pain will go away in time, and talking to friends or attending a divorce recovery group can be really helpful too. I wish you the best.

Answer 3

If you are a serious Christian and he's cheating on you and doing time for selling drugs, it sounds like you might have been unequally yoked from the beginning. You are allowed to divorce your husband on the grounds of adultery only if you are unable to forgive him. You are free from your vows and allowed to remarry. It would be a sin in a whole new category if you cheated on him (a very worldly way to think - tsk tsk!) because now you would be guilty of adultery as well. Do what the apostles were instructed to do when bringing the good news of the gospel into a new area and were not received. Shake the dust off your sandals, move on and don't look back. This guy sounds like nothing but a handful of trouble and no one needs that. Find a nice guy who believes the same way you do.

Answer 4

Many Christians struggle with their faith, so it really is no big deal. One of the things that God does for us here is give us challenges and experiences that are for our growth. The fact that you have chosen to move away and yet return a number of times is not of any concern to God. He is only concerned that you find your own way of being true to yourself. There is no compunction to be an active, church attending, stand up and sing it out loud Christian. Even Jesus only advocated being and living a certain way. The reason he wanted his disciples to set up the church was so that *His* message could be given to as many people around the world as possible. But His message wasn't 'make darned sure you attend church every weekend and let everyone know you are a follower' it was more like 'live a life like me and love your neighbour'. I am sure that if you are still 'in your head' a Christian, that means that you are still attempting to live your life in that particular way and so there is every reason to be positive and hopeful about your future, whether or not you ever again attend church, join in the rituals or even pray. The point is, God gave each of us our own lives to do with as we please, and if you believe that you have experienced God and heard God, then you are more blessed than the vast majority of people on this planet, and you can guarantee that even when you are far from God, God is still close to you. I also happen to believe (looking back on a relatively longer life than I ever expected to get) that we each get to lead precisely the life we were supposed to lead, and all the worry and anxiety about things is pointless and unnecessary. I feel sure that you have to find your own path, but that it does not have to include guilt for not always choosing to do what perhaps others or our society expect of us. Live through this period without confusion and concern for whether you are choosing the correct path, take it that you are, since there's only one Being that knows and accepts everything that you are, good and bad, right and wrong, near or far, whatever you do and however you think.

Answer 5

Sounds like you have your plate full of scraps. If you were also involved in the drug thing but he got all the blame and you didn't go to jail then the whole story would be different , now wouldn't it? If ya'lls marriage was DEAD while he was messing around on you then I'd say please do BOTH of ya'll a favor and DIVORCE him. Sounds like it will only get worse. Hope NO children are involved because if there is, its NOT good mentally for them at all.His sins DON'T excuse you of your sins, just remember that.It doesn't make ya'll even if you decide to mess around just to get even because theres NO such thing. He's behind bars. What makes you think it matters to him anyway. Theres nothing he can do about it, right?

Answer 6

I think you live with the choices you make. I wouldn't divorce him. You chose to marry him. Doing the same thing to him because you are angry won't make you feel better. I'm sorry, but you're in a predicament.

The best thing you can do is surround yourself with good Christian friends and find things to occupy your mind and time that will help others. Investing yourself in the happiness of someone else who is less fortunate than yourself will make your life successful. You have it bad, but there is someone you can help because of what you've had to go through.

I know a woman who became a Christian only to get caught along with her husband in a drug bust. She spent jail time, too, even though she had turned her life around. She had their baby daughter while she was in prison, and had to give up her baby for eight months until she got out. My parents cared for the baby and gave it a good Christian home until she could take it. Now she is out, doing the best she can, waiting for her husband to get out of prison so they can have a life together. She had a hard time, but she's a stronger woman because of it.

Maybe your husband's heart will change while he's in jail. I hope the best for you.

Answer 7

Since he has sinned so many times .Put you in health risk
with his adultery,drugs, cheating ,no thought of you,he new if he has caught that you would be serving time along with him. Don't lower yourself to his standards.
Cheating & selling drugs is not in Gods eyes so the only person you be hurting is yourself ,as you would have to live with yourself. He has done enough damage to you .
My advice would be to start a new life ,and don't make the same mistakes again.Good luck in the future

Answer 8

In the Bible, you are allowed to divorce an adulterer. You are considered without sin if you divorce them. It would be wrong to be married and unfaithful to you husband at any time.

1 Corinthians 5:11-12
11But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

12What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13God will judge those outside. "Expel the wicked man from among you."

Answer 9

CHYNA. HE HURT you and now he is going to spent 7 years in jail so you are not cheating 7 years are 7 years and you need somebody to be by your side helping you and caring about you. just don't do anything to get his situation worse at jail, God will see that you are trying to be happy. if you have kids think about them do whats the best or them and for you.

Answer 10

God said dont do it. And he says it is worse for you to never know the word of god then to know it and ignore it. Your a bad example to other chrisitans if you go around cheating on your husband with the excuse of well he did it first so i am doing it to hurt him. Jesus was blameless and he died on the cross. Your cheated on and so you want to get revenge by doing it back. That is not christian.

Divorce him, it is biblically ok to do so. Adultry is not excusable.