My boyfriend and I are supposed to be in a serious relationship. (Weve talked about marriage and all that jazz). But I am concerened because he hates to talk about his past. I mean he'll answer a direction question (with as few details as possible) but has never opened up to me about anything. I wonder if I should just let it go or is this a bad sign?
2007-02-04 14:09:38 · 16 answers · asked by Keri 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe he just is a very private person and does not like to discuss the past. It is a hard subject for anyone to talk about. He probably does not want you to think bad about him or he maybe just wants to forget about the past and move on with you in his future. If he does not like talking about the past then respect his decision not to talk about it. When he wants to talk he will tell you when he is ready.
2007-02-04 14:17:23 · answer #1 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know your b/f better than anyone here. What kind of person is he? Is he, in general, a "private" individual who keeps to himself, and doesn't feel comfortable discussing something deeply personal? If so, this is just the way he is. You have to decide if being with this type of person is the right thing for you. Someone's past is a deeply personal business; some people feel comfortable discussing the details, others don't. I don't usually mind talking about my past, but I have become more and more careful in "disclosing" personal details, and it had bitten me in the rear before; many people use the personal details you have shared with them as ammunition against you - so it's understandable if someone wants to avoid discussing the past altogether.
Why are you so eager to learn about his past? Unless there's something very serious *in the present* that bothers you - let the sleeping dogs lie. Are you insecure or jealous? If so, it is all the more reason for him to be protective of the personal details that have no relevance in the present. My husband, too, is very guarded when it comes to sharing personal information with anyone, and I don't pry into his past - it makes absolutely no difference to me what had happened before; what matters is what is happening now. The best advice I could give you - let the past go and focus on the present. If there's something that doesn't "add up" - address it head on, not in the roundabout way.
2007-02-04 14:25:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's important to know why and how he evolved into the person that he is. If he won't discuss that, what else is relunctant to discuss.with you? Why is relunctant? Were his feelings not acknowledged growing up? Does he have some deep dark secrets? Have you checked him out on Yahoo Search? That's a start. I checked out a man on YS and am glad. You'll never guess what I learned about that nutcase. What is so bad is that he's a minister's son. What is it with these PK's. One would think they'd follow the Bible inside and out, but they don't. The minister, himself, doesn't take "til death do us part" to heart; he's been up the aisle thrice already. What does that say?
2007-02-04 14:19:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are talking about romantic relationships, then it's really none of your business. Who wants all the details about that!
But anything else, he should be open about it. You should know about any brushes with the law, past marriages, children, etc. If he is not willing to talk about important things, I'd be very leery.
2007-02-04 23:30:09 · answer #4 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THIS IS A BAD SIGN! My first husband was like that, and one of his favorite phrases was, "My past began when I met you." Sounds all romantice and everything, and I fell for it and married him, and then I learned he was a major porn pervert, never paid a bill in his life, slept around, had homosexual tendencies, and was hated by everyone who knew him. Break up with this guy. I think you kind of have an instinct that something about him isn't on the up and up. Listen to your inner voice and get rid of him.
2007-02-04 14:16:04 · answer #5 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think usually that's an OK sign. Hopefully, he's looking ahead toward a relationship with you. That is true unless he was an ax murderer or was married 5 times. Hopefully he's a regular guy, and I think it's good that he's thinking forward instead of backward.
2007-02-04 14:15:38 · answer #6 · answered by Faith 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why are women so worried about the past of their bf or husband?
what is in the past is in the past.so what if he dated a pornstar 10 years before he knew u.are u gonna let that stop u from loving him?(just an example)
2007-02-04 14:20:06 · answer #7 · answered by 'HUMVEE' 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he was hurt in the past.... He just is not ready to talk about it right now. If he cannot open up to you you may have to give him space ... This is a bad sign and i would be careful.... Also you may want to ask him if he still wants to marry you or not. .I wish you the bst. He needs counseling for his past probably and may i suggest couples counseling.
2007-02-04 14:18:25 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why bring up the past, you should really focus on the present and the future. The less you know the better.
2007-02-04 14:16:22 · answer #9 · answered by marnan97 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in my opinion, the past really needs to stay in the past. so it's a don't ask, don't tell thing. if he wants to open up in the future, he will. otherwise, just let it go.
2007-02-04 14:13:05 · answer #10 · answered by pikachu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋