my bf and i are both in our mid 30s and he asked me to marry him.hes divorced with a child,little savings,and a debt of 18k.i'm never married,100k in stocks,bonds,savings, and no children.i love him dearly and plan on staying with him till death but you never know what the future holds.i just would hate to see all my money that i worked so hard for go to his exwife.what do u think if u were in my spot what would u do?
2007-02-04 12:53:04 · 15 answers · asked by karenbshy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes...pursue the prenup. I didn't use to think so...but I changed my mind.
Your premarital assets are yours even if you divorce..but still things can get ugly. I just married my husband...and he has nothing...do I worry...yes. Now that I realized that he could cheat or turn crazy or alcoholic or whatever.
NEVER trust your money to another...it doesn't mean as much when you don't earn it yourself. That is just how it is.
2007-02-04 13:09:37 · answer #1 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't really need to, as anything that you being to the marriage asset wise remains with you. If you never give him access to any of that money, he will have no way of getting it. If you divorce later, anything you brought to the marriage will leave with you.
The only thing that could be covered is interest that will accrue during the marriage. Take the 100K in stocks. Say at the time of a future divorce, that 100K was worth 130K. He would rightfully be entitled to 15K of the 30K that was made while you were married. The other 15K and the original 100K would remain yours.
And, his ex will have on reason to think she is entitled to any of that money. She will continue to get the child support based on his salary alone.
But, if he cares, he will not have a problem signing one, even though I don't think you really need one. Just inform him that he will not be given access to any of the money you bought into the marriage.
2007-02-04 14:08:15 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a pre-nup. You do not plan on breaking up when you are busy getting together. You never know how things will be in the future. You do not want to gamble with your assets. Protect your assets and do what a girl have to do. We see these things happening all the time with the stars. Take a lesson from them.
2007-02-04 13:01:11 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. Morality 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he trully loves you, then he would sign that pre-nup. You could explain to him that you would hate to see that money go to his ex-wife if things went sour between the two of you, and that the reason for the pre-nup would be insurance to secure both of your futures together.
2007-02-04 13:00:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would do the same thing. Don't feel bad about it. At the end of the day you'd have to protect yourself. I do think you guys should go for some form of counselling before marriage though because it seems you have everything going together and he doesn't.
2007-02-04 13:13:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your smart and you are looking out for you. dont put yourself in a situation where you could be left with nothing. you worked too hard for that. you invested in yourself and that should not end here. be safe and be protective of yourself. because your right, you never know what the future holds, and there is nothing wrong with making sure that you will be ok in the future.
if he loves you then he will understand.
2007-02-04 13:00:08 · answer #6 · answered by tot tot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing wrong. cover yourself. I didnot and am repenting. i feel why my hard earned money goes to someone else in divorce specially if he has no or little savings or is in debt.
Never know what the future holds. things can turn sour.
One thing to say-protect yourself in all respects. Good luck
2007-02-04 12:59:55 · answer #7 · answered by Sense 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally to me, a pre-nup is a slap in the face. You are basically telling the man that you don't trust him and you don't think your marriage will last.
2007-02-04 13:38:10 · answer #8 · answered by His Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is totally up to you and your choice ... HOWEVER i do not personally agree with it as to me it means that you do not totally trust him and are looking to divorce down the road... Why do this unless you think you will not be together down the road. If i were you i would give him the benefit of the doubt and trust him without a signed prenup and if i could not trust him i just would not marry him.
2007-02-04 13:05:47 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i would do the same thing, marriage is hard( i should know i married) and you never know what could happen these days. Keep yourself save and if he loves you for you, than it wont be an issue.
2007-02-04 12:58:18 · answer #10 · answered by cherokee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋