us kissing. that is all that has ever happened. we were all friends. he tells me he loves me and of course, husband loves me also. i am so torn. i just do not know what to do. i am a succesful 43 year old woman. the other man is 51 ,my husband is 66. please give me ideas.
2007-02-04 12:29:24 · 34 answers · asked by texasbredandborn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You must decide what is best for you. You must ask yourself is this all worth the lost of a 16 year marriage. You must choose were you want to be for the rest of your life. Because you can't have both. Which would really make you most happiest. Follow your heart not your mind. Heart leads us to a place of peace. The mind leads us to a state of confusion. When we find ourselves in a situation like this one we must quickly remove ourselves as soon as we understand what is going on. Either way someone gets hurt but we shouldn't allow the situation to linger on no more than it has to. You have to make the choice that you can best live with. You have to make the choice that's best for you. This is your life. So make a decision soon and live the rest of your life with the person that you feel with make you the happiest. Be sure you don't make one decision and later on wish you have a made another. Do the right thing here and now. Good luck.
2007-02-04 12:42:55 · answer #1 · answered by relationcounseling 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yeah. Right. You say you are a 43 year old woman, and you've been in love with another man for 2 years. OK. And, while hubby caught you kissing your "wonderful man", that was ALL you ever did. Never held hands. No tongue EVER. Certainly never touched breast. Heaven no he never touched your thigh. Lady, why not be honest? You've been having a relationship with Mr. Wonderful that includes more than just a few kisses over the years. Or, you may actually be 11, and not 43. So, you want to know if you should keep playing with Wonder Man, try to go full time with Wonder Man, or how to maintain your marriage, while keeping Wonder Boy on the side. You need to decide what you want to accomplish. Don't worry about your wonderful husband. There are lots of wonderful older ladies that would love to meet a wonderful 66 year old man.
2007-02-04 13:25:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what you believe, the grass isn't gonna be greener. Sure relationships seem Exilerating and exciting at first, and even more so when they are forbidden, but the same things that annoy you about your present husband will annoy you in a few months with this other guy. As an advocate for working out your marital issues and sticking it out until death do you part I suggest you both get counseling and figure out how to choose to continue to love eachother. You are supposed to put your partner first always and well, you are putting YOU first. You made a vow to that man you are married to and you are breaking your vows. So my bright idea is that you break off this other relationship, because honestly a man who is willing to step in and snake another mans wife, isn't worth it...what makes you think that he won't do this to you once you are together? Wake up, seriously...think here. I have had plenty of chances to cheat on my husband when I felt like I didn't love him anymore. We all have dry spells, but love is a choice you have to make every day of your life. You must choose to love the person you are married to, even when they seem unloveable...and we all are at one time or another. I hope you make a smart descision here, because if you don't, it WILL come back to haunt you.
2007-02-04 13:31:24 · answer #3 · answered by dixi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This marriage you had for all these years was your husband investment & yours.
Your emotions slipped out of your control for a short time.
So, don’t waste all these years you had with a great husband whom you love & I am sure he loves you too.
You have to delete what you had with that stranger from your mind forever. And you can.
You said that you fall in love !
I am sorry that is not love.
That is only a mistake that should be corrected immediately.
You have a very high and strong credit of love and history with your husband that will give you the tools and strength to overcome any obstacle like this one.
Just keep this new person away from your life as much as you can. He is a red flag in your life.
Start adding new things to your marriage. Have new thing to do with your husband like:
Take a vocation, or take the weekend just away from your home – even if its for 2 days, start going out for dinner, move things around your house to make it look better for both of you, add flowers to your life and share your husband his interest in sport or care race or what ever he is interested in.
Stay close to your husband and consider that what happens was just a human error that time, your love & efforts will fix.
According to that guy who gave himself the permission to make a move on a married woman, I don’t really think he respect you or your husband.
So, just end the whole thing right here and enjoy your life with the man who offered you years of love.
God bless
2007-02-04 13:02:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chance's are you already cheated and watered down the truth to get advise so here it is if this man is willing to cheat on his friend's wife, so if you go to that man you can expect him to cheat on you one day and that almost a 100% fact!
If you love your husband stop NOW!!!
Your husband does not deserve to be cheated on and if you have children you'll stand a good chance at losing them as well when they find out!
Tell other man and his wife if he has one in FRONT of your husband what has occurred with other man ,and then tell other man to take a WALK IMMEDIATELY !!!
Save yourself a headache the other man is 98.5% looking to get into your pants.
He will say anything and do anything to get to achieve that goal.
You made a vow to stay faithful to your husband and he to you , ask yourself what would you feel like if the tables were reversed and you found him with another woman?
NOT PRETTY IS IT?
I hope you save your marriage and your , family , and your Dignity .
2007-02-04 13:18:37 · answer #5 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said your husband loves you but do you love him? You made a commitment when you married your husband. For better of for worst. Do not let anyone else come between your marriage. You should not be kissing anyone but your husband. Put yourself in your husband shoes, if he was to come home and tell you he have been kissing someone else. If need be go to counseling, get the fire back into your marriage and let him down easy and be very careful in the future. You are taken already.
2007-02-04 12:42:00 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. Morality 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Temptation is everywhere, hon, and all the time, particularly if you are. as I am, extremely attractive.....
I could have had a different guy every week of every year.... but I would not betray my marriage, nor my husband..... betrayal, sweetie is the only deal breaker in a marriage, and if you want your marriage to be over, f(l)uck around....... if it were you who were being betrayed, you would leave.... and he will too..... fantasies are free..... but to act on them means you are the s(l)ut..... And no, if your marriage is basically unsound, the "bridge" person out of the marriage is not the one you will end up with.... I promise....
Rein in your hormones, get some counseling, and be good to your husband of 16 years..... he deserves is, and he at the very least deserves a faithful wife. Should you no longer wish to be faithful, end your marriage first before you start to screw around.... no one deserves a faithless spouse, not even the worst jerk in the world.
2007-02-04 12:56:45 · answer #7 · answered by April 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The heart wants what the heart wants......
There is probably a good reason you were attracted to another man. Because if you truelly loved your husband with all your heart and soul this new guy would not be in the picture.
Follow your bliss girlfriend! Life is too short.
2007-02-04 13:04:22 · answer #8 · answered by Soulfulgrl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why would you want to ruin your marriage for a little fling. It sounds like you are going through middle age crisis. You know the grass always looks greener on the other side. It probably isn`t. Stay with your husband, you know he loves you.
2007-02-04 12:38:03 · answer #9 · answered by mammafran77 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
expensive Sonal, i've got self assurance that it grew to become into not love yet a trifling allure. not needed that the allure ought to be bodily or sexually, it is even that, u initiate loving some one simply by fact he's being concerned you.!! yet did you pass checked whether you have issues in undemanding or will you be somewhat satisfied ? Now overlook the previous !! So now you will possibly desire to understand is that verbal substitute is the backbone of each courting. If it breaks, courting breaks. certainly you're proficient with a small infant boy, so for his destiny you will possibly want again jointly, share some factors, attempt to speak to one yet another and one extra element, save calm. adult adult males a while do unlike which you be attentive to folk intrude of their existence so which you will possibly desire to have "Sakshi -bhav" and likewise "Sahan-shilta" are not getting offended or panic if he tries to scold you out. attempt giving as much as love you aspects to him, do not overlook husband is quite like a infant, some cases offended, gruesome, undesirable yet nonetheless harmless and nonetheless loving. So do not permit flow the heady scent interior the relation and at some point for particular you would be a solid couple. and don't unfastened desire are not getting depressed , each morning you will possibly desire to have confidence in your self to boot as in divine. might god bless you all.
2016-09-28 10:33:34 · answer #10 · answered by gizzi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋