he gets really upset at times & flips out (never hits me or anything...only yells & says things that he doesn't mean or so he says)...he has always had a temper problem since childhood (his father & his brother are way worse then him)...he says he loves me & says sorry for everytime he flips out & says that he doesnt mean anything hes saying...he has gotten to the point of crying before...im worried that hes overly stressed out about having this baby...im only 21 weeks & hes worried that we arent going to be able to provide for his son...he wants to move out & what not since we are currently living with my mom...he has a job & im still trying to get one...i told him im scared too but i know we'll be able to do it if i get a job too...
just wondering if this has happened to anybody else & what i could do to help him calm down a bit.
2007-02-04 12:01:37 · 9 answers · asked by Twinkle in My Eyes 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
this happened once to my sis inlaw she and my bro got in to it tons of times well a wile after she got a kid and it all had finaly changed a long 9 months of fighting and they finaly got over it. just dont be worried its normal. and you shouldnt be scared of having the baby because when you both hold the baby you will know why you wanted to have a baby. email me so we could talk about some probs of yours id love to help with anything posible.
coltslovershomepage@yahoo.com or coltslovershomepage111@yahoo.com
2007-02-04 12:13:54 · answer #1 · answered by jesse f 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He needs counselling and possible medication like Lexapro or something to make him more relaxed. You really would not benefit getting a job at this point. It would have to be a temporary job and pray that you do not have Any problems at all during the rest of the pregnancy. Then after you have the baby you will still have to take off about 6 wks while your body is healing. Please do not make excuses for your bf.. he needs to get some kind of help. Verbal abuse is just as bad as hitting you. It makes you lose your self esteem and will only get worse. Being pregnant could even trigger him to become more violent as well. I am sorry I know this is not what you are wanting to hear. I wish the best for you and the baby. Good Luck.
2007-02-04 12:24:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hes probably really stressed over the pregnancy,most new dads are..just give him his space and he will cope..guys like to know they can provide and handle there families and when they cant or if they are having trouble they no better than to take it out on there loved ones..He will get over it..U say he has always had a temper problem,tell hi u cannot put up with his moods and that he needs to get some anger management or start acting right because there is going to be a baby here soon..just dont worry,he will ease up,im sure he still loves this baby no matter what..good luck!
2007-02-04 12:10:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He needs help. If he has had a temper problem you need out. It's hard, especially when a baby is involved. Thebest thing to do (though it is one of the hardest thing in the world)is to leave and do not allow him to abuse you. My hubby ( former boyfriend) was that way at one time. He was one happy ending. I would not marry him however and I moved away but was there to offer him help and support to go to counseling and anger mangagement. He knew that if he did not change then he would lose the person he loved alot. His view of love was distorted and I was not going allow it to destroy my life. He got counseling and really truly changed. But, let me tell you, there were alot of times where he said he would change. I couldn't allow him to control my life. I couldn't walk out the door without him. Don't let him control your life. It was because I loved him, but I also loved myself that I had to make a change. I was lucky though. I would not have a child at that time. I now have been married to him for 4 years. Though a person may think it is wrong. Even though he wanted a child, and in my heart I wanted one. I could not allow our child to be brought up that way. There is one thing for a man to be stressed, but this does not sound like stress. It sounds like abuse. I'm sorry, I know you care but maybe you should back up and show him you are not one to be controlled in that way. A relationship is give and take. We have tried 2 years before that, but it took him over a year to get to be the loving husband and people can change. But don't think that if you love him enough you will stay. And don't allow him to tell you you'll never be able to live without him. The fact is that it will be hard as **** but you can be strong. I can't tell you it wont be hard. You wont know you could cry so much.
14 weeks and 2 days pregnant.
2007-02-04 12:12:52 · answer #4 · answered by Kelly s 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to think long and hard about how you want your son talking because i promise and yes i know from experience your son will be just like your boyfriend and if he is calling you a ***** or anything like that when he is mad, plan on your 2 yr. old getting mad and doing the same. im sorry but screw him and his temper tantrums he made a baby just like you so if he is stressed out tell him to carry it and feel like a fat lard in the 9th month and get hemorrhoids when he births it. tell him to grow up and get some help or you will !!! have 2 uncontrollable guys in your life before you know it.....oh and if he hasn't hit you yet be careful because one day he will. i am taking from experience!!!! be careful and good luck
2007-02-04 12:17:37 · answer #5 · answered by lovingmommy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to get control of his temper, because a baby is going to test that constantly. Check out anger management classes... it's nothing to be ashamed of, especially if you're getting help for it!!
Every guys worries about whether he can provide for his new family... that's their job throughout the pregnancy... you stay calm and grow that little one, and he stresses about finances!!
2007-02-04 12:13:12 · answer #6 · answered by naenae0011 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try some counseling, it would probably help you both prepare for the coming years. It's not just his son, it is both of yours. You should also be able to apply for welfare such as WIC or food stamps, ask your doctor about the numbers they should at least talk to you about counseling and what to do. Imagine that temper around a baby and if he passes it on to the son and you can't help him with it? Congrats, and good luck!
2007-02-04 12:07:08 · answer #7 · answered by chichibomba 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My ex boyfriend is stressed or whatever he is he becomes soooo agressive that I get scared... Well it came to the point now he is taking anxiety medicine... But I still dont trust him at all...I just wanted to say that you do not deserve to be treated like that at all... Try talking to him or send him to counseling make him understand that he has a problem!!!
2007-02-04 12:12:37 · answer #8 · answered by Princess 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is being verbally abusive, verbal abuse in 99.9% of the cases turns to physical abuse. "he has always had a temper problem" Then YOU need to get out of the relationship before you wind up in hospital.
2007-02-04 12:06:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋