How can u 4give sum1 that has stole, lied and tried to get credit cards n ur name?

Question

My 21 year old daughter has stolen money, credit cards, checks and other items from me. I also found out she has also been trying to get loans and credit cards in my name. Everyone keeps telling me it isnt her it is the drugs. I am so tired of hearing that. We went through this ordeal in late 2005 and Dec 06 it started again. How many chances is someone supposed to get? I am tired of law enforcement/DA nobody wants to do anything. I feel like I have did something wrong. Has anyone else had this problem with a relative.

Answer 1

I can only speak from my own experience with this. I'm in recovery from drugs, over 10 years. What worked for me was my mother putting me in jail for writing checks, stealing her credit cards and pawning her jewelry. When I went to jail, I was blown away that she would do that to me, her daughter. It was the best thing she could have done FOR ME. It told me that my actions were not acceptable any longer. I hated her and was angry for a long time, over a year. She is my best friend now, I love her for what she did for me. You need to be stronger than her addiction and put your foot down on this! Good luck and God bless you and your family.

Answer 2

I have not had this problem. I have however, had an addiction problem and can tell you that when a person is addicted to something, the only thing that will matter is getting the next hit, fix, drink, etc.
I hate to say this but I think your absolute best bet would be to first, keep all your money, cards, checks, and valued items locked up where you are certain they cannot be gotten.
Next, you should seek for some sort of intervention for hwer. By now I am pretty sure you have heard this and know the avenues.
But do it.
The dire trouble all recovering addicts face is that of a relapse. Certain things can trigger a relapse. One big one is being around the same people that got her into it before. Or, the people that she did it with before. That would HAVE to STOP.
Still another is places. If a certain place is where she went before and got whatever, you can sure bet it would happen again.
And of course, things. All three, people places and things.
She will need to try something different if she is to get free of this problem, and I know how it affects entire families.
Maybe you've heard this before, it is appropriate for anyone, really... If you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you've always got.
Try a new approach entirely...

Answer 3

Whether or not you put the money back on to the card, your BF's mother will likely still pursue the investigation. Suicide is a ridiculous thought to consider over $500. If you're going to top yourself, it's certainly not worth doing it for such a small amount. The easiest thing to do, for this amount of money, would be to simply admit it. Come up with a good reason why you stole from your mother-in-law, and simply admit it. If you can't face doing it face-to-face, do it with a little more drama - leave a written confession and babbling apology where your mother-in-law will find it, then disappear to a friend's house for a few days. Your mother-in-law will call you and tell you everything is all okay. And all will be well. Probably.

Answer 4

This is sad to hear and horrible to live but alas, my youngest son had ATM card that I let him use while he was in college he would give me a receipt for l5.00 and then take more, not so much that I would really notice but in 7 mos period of time he had taken 2300.00 I kept quiet, his first job had a sign on of 5,000.00 and 2 weeks after he started this new job I found a check on the kitchen table for 2500.00 with a note telling me he knew that I knew about the money and would I forgive him for his selfish mistake. There is always hope a person will do the "right thing", for in my heart I knew he would do this eventually. Never give up hope!

Answer 5

I'd suggest putting a security freeze on all your credit card accounts- and a fraud alert on your credit reports.

If its drugs that have her scavenging for $$-- Get that girl into Rehab. She needs some serious help. I know it will be difficult to place her in a rehab center, but maybe it's what she needs. You can't continue to live your life this way, and neither can she. It'll be the best for her in the long run

Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 6

See, I see this different from most people. It is NOT the drugs. It's the person. They simply make horrible decisions, then they make even worse decisions in an attempt to "fix" the problems they created with previous bad decisions. This cycle will never end unless your daughter gets help. Professional help.

I have seen this before. You have not done anything wrong. It's not the drugs. It's all coming from someone who has convinced themself that this stuff is okay, and it clearly is not.

Answer 7

Unfortunately at 21 you sort of have to let them sink or swim ... it's what happened with our family and my husbands as well. At some point you have to stop trying to help them out, they have to want the help. Any addiction therapy will tell you that "help" is an enabling process ... you can't force help on someone who's not really seeking it themselves. I can feel for you, and I truly hope you and you family finds something to correct what has taken you on this difficult path.

Answer 8

Sweetheart it IS the drugs. They seriously take over anybodys actions and as long as she IS on drugs u should not be giving her any chances period. She needs to get her life together...Its called tough love. She needs to experience the loss of everything important to her in order to have a reason to get herself better. U should see this show that comes on A&E its called "intervention". Families of addicts-drugs, alcoholics prescription meds- they surprise the abuser with all family and let them know how much everybody loves them and wants them to get better and basically gives them an ultimatum to get treatment or get outta of their lives and that may be what u should consider

Answer 9

I'm with you, Sister! My Oldest Son,(27) stole $1000, from my Youngest Son(25). Knowing that I'd get it back to him. His problem is Drugs. I hope your Daughter's is just a passing fad.

Answer 10

if it is drugs get her into a lock down rehab program. other wise charge her with fraud, if you can prove everything that you have just outlined above send her rotten a@@ to jail.