my ex and I broke up a couple months ago we were together for three years and we broke up, I thought we were going to get back together beacuse he told me someday we would and that he still loved me, a week ago he tells me that I need to move on and he isnt in love with me anymore, so now i need to really move on from him and forget about him, my problem is i cant stop calling him and seeing what he is up to. Were not together anymore and i find myself wanting to know his every move, beacuse i am scared he is meeting girls and hooking up with them, so i need help, how do i keep my self from calling him and how to I start to move on? I need to let him go!
2007-02-04 11:03:23 · 21 answers · asked by Brooke 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A friend of mine is going through a similar experience, & I'll give you the same advice I gave her: Love is hard! You're going to have to find other activities that engage your mind, & open yourself up to new avenues. He was a big part of your life, but he wasn't the only aspect of it. Life does go on. You'd be surprised!
2007-02-04 11:12:32 · answer #1 · answered by chevy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard and I feel for you. But the more you call the more you will have a less chance with being with him.Men enjoy the chase and if you are always there, its not worth the chase. Think about it, does an carnivore prefer to eat left overs or chase his meat? You two broke up for a reason and now you need to give him space. Let him experience life without you in it. He may wake up and realize that he needs you. And if he doesn't, he was never worth your time. You can't force a relationship because the man will just resent you. And realize that you worrying about him hooking up with another girl is doing you no good and only causing you pain. Let the dog go, and if he comes back he is yours.
2007-02-04 19:10:34 · answer #2 · answered by 112 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it's tough and only time will make it less painful but you need to stop calling him. He could make a case for harassment or stalking. Call your girlfriends, volunteer at a hospital, get a part time job, take a class at the local college. Anything to get your mind occupied.
He will meet girls and you will meet men. You have to get used to that pretty quickly because he already is. What are you, early-to-mid 20s? This is part of life and it's hard. But you will survive and you'll be stronger and wiser for the experience. I still remember Connie Kidder from junior high and you wouldn't believe how old I am. Not much help, I know. Sorry.
2007-02-04 19:14:23 · answer #3 · answered by AK 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop calling him completely. If you feel the urge, call a gf or something. Go find something to take your mind off of it.
You are torturing yourself by trying to find out what hes up to.
You need to cut off contact with him completely. Then and only then you will start the acceptance process.
Get out with your friends and go to places where other fellas are. Meet and date new guys, and dont dwell on your past or what could have been. He has made it plain that he is over with this relationship and has been frank with you. He hasnt lead you to think anything other than its time for you to move on. So do it hun. I know it isnt easy.
But you will drive yourself crazy if you continue the road you are on.
Just try it. Get out the next available weekend with your gfs. Surround yourself with eligible fellas, and flirt till your lil heart just aches. lol The attention from the other gentlemen alone will help you a great deal.
Good luck to ya hun.......It does get easier and you will get over him. You deserve someone who will love you with all the love they have. Best wishes.
2007-02-04 19:14:49 · answer #4 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may be hard, but you can do it. And you have to do it, for your own sanity sake. Why, would you worry or care about someone, who does not want you. I think if you look at it like this, then you will move on. Forget him. Go out and start to meet new friends, and have a ball. Want more for yourself. Stop the phone calls, find something else to do! Take a class, join a club etc. join a bowling team!
2007-02-04 19:11:18 · answer #5 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He has probably met someone else and he's moving on.
He doesn't want you to hold up your life waiting for him so he wants you to know how things stand.
Take a week or two to really grieve the end of the relationship. Then after that time make an effort to see your friends, be with your family, focus on work/school.
Little by little you'll start living your life again and be able to look back on this relationship as a learning experience.
2007-02-04 19:10:43 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
At least you are clear on what you need to do. It takes time. Do you have friends or family to do things with? He probably is trying to start things up with other people, but he did tell you to move on, at least he didn't keep stringing you along after he knew the score. Call him once and say good bye. Find things to do that you like and friends. Keep busy. It will hurt for some time, but then there comes a day where you ask yourself,"What did I see in that guy?" Then you know you are on the road to recovery. Good Luck.
2007-02-04 19:10:24 · answer #7 · answered by plaplant8 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We've all been there...that's the truth!!!
Just distract yourself. Hang out with your friends and family a bit more then usual, Odds are...if your out finding someone else, you won't have time to think/remember about him.
Three years is alot of time to invest with someone, but just try and stay busy.
Many cites and townships offer classes/hobbies that you can sign up for, check to see if they are available in you area.
Some examples:
Ballroom Dancing
Cake Decorating
Scrapbooking
Belly Dancing
Cooking Classes
Anything that will give you the opportunity to meet other people and stay focused on the positive.
Best of Luck to you :)
2007-02-04 19:29:20 · answer #8 · answered by marnan97 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I WAS THERE B4.DID THE SAME EXACT THING.
he probably told u tht u were gonna get back 2gether cuz he thought he would make the breakin up process easier.
u need to fall back and leave him alone cuz then he'll start thinking ur stalkin him.and tht will lead to alot of resentment.i know u miss him but u gotta find sumething else 2 preocupy urself wit.and as the saying goes it easier said than done so i dont expect u 2 be over him by 2morrow or next week it night take a while.but nobody ever said moving on was easy.so take up a hobby or find sumething u really love doin sumething tht has NOTHIN 2 do wit him.FIND SUMETHIN HEALTHY THT WILL GET UR MIND OFF OF HIM.
2007-02-04 19:12:23 · answer #9 · answered by spongebob917 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes , Dear you do need to let go . You need to get out of the house make plans to go somewhere with your friends or go visit family. go volunteer somewhere. Go to church. Every time you get a urge to call him go take a bubble bath . You might take several a night ,but , if it stops you from calling him at least you are very clean. Read a book, clean the house.Go shopping .Get a new hairdo. These things do help I know ! I have been there done that.
2007-02-04 20:46:38 · answer #10 · answered by lovely 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋