I'm getting divorced and have met someone new. How do I introduce him to the family?

Question

I told my family I am moving away, but when I told my father about the divorce he asked only a couple of questions and then cut me short so I was not able to bring up my new boyfriend - or the fact that it is he I am moving in with when I leave this house. Although I have in the past, I am not sure I want to just show up with this new guy on my arm at my next visit to see my family. However, after the initial reaction, I'm scared to do it alone. Since I will be moving across the country to be with my boyfriend and my family has not yet met him, I also worry about their concern with that. I've considered a couple possibilities:

1) Just show up at my next normal visit with him. (not with him isn't an option to me, since I will be living with him then.)

2) Visit before I move and tell dad then somehow, because I am giving my dad my car, but may not have a ride back if he cuts me off. Boyfriend has offered to drive me home, in which case:
a) have him meet them then?

Any advice?

Yeah, this sounds like it's sudden and I'm jumping impulsively; the first note didn't allow enough characters to explain the situation fully. The person from whom I am divorcing was a friend of mine in college. We did one of those, "Let's get married to our best friend" things, and I realized about 6 months into the marriage - five years ago - that I needed something more, which he understands and supports. This isn't a relationship ending badly, or an impulsive move. The only reason the divorce is happening now is *because* I have found a boyfriend, and the boyfriend isn't someone new in my life. The only reason my family doesn't know him yet is because I was afraid of exactly this sort of reaction. I thought I'd put up a charade of being okay with how things were, in case things didn't progress well. Now I'd rather be honest with them, and I'm not sure how is the best way to approach it so that we can be totally honest with each other.

Answer 1

Have you ever seen the episode of the Cosby Show where Vanessa just shows up with a fiancee & the family had no idea she even had a boyfriend?
It would take way to long to explain what the family thought. I'll just say, you should definitely tell them before you show up with him.
Bill Cosby explained it to the guy in a great way, wish I had more time to tell you.

Answer 2

i do not get what his previous courting has to do with you. what's he hiding? Are there issues he would not pick you in looking out about him/his kin/his previous courting? seems VERY unusual to me that he's averting introducing you kin and acquaintances even as pondering transferring in together and different lengthy-time period plans! pink flags could truly be going up everywhere for you. both get some sturdy solutions from him that do not go away you questioning what's happening, or kindly tell him you pick to flow on, and tell him sturdy bye. If he cares about you and also you've been together for an finished year, he should be delighted to introduce you to those he loves, in spite of a previous undesirable journey. that may be the traditional and properly ingredient to do, no matter if he continues to be gun shy about marriage. He could a minimum of have the decency to judge what you make a call from the courting and how you're feeling about no longer being coated in his existence. All in all, he appears like a actual loser to me. Run, and do not seem lower back!

Answer 3

I think that you should call the family and tell them that you would like to introduce your new boyfriend. If you dont do this then you run the risk of hurting everyone's feelings. I and puzzled why they haven't already met a guy that your moving across country with. Sounds like there is something wrong with that. What are you hiding. I think you should not leave with bad feelings, just in case you need a place to go when he kicks you to the curb.

Answer 4

Sounds like you have zero communication with your family. I really don't know how to approach your issue in this case. Usually, the answer is straight-forward: you let people know what's going on in your life by *talking* to them... You know, like having conversations. I never had a problem communicating things to my family since my mom and I talk on the phone every week or two (she lives on the other side of the globe). I tell her about many things that happen in my life - not necessarily *everything*, but enough for her to have a fairly accurate picture of what's going on. I don't know what type of communication you have with your family if you're considering just "showing up" at their doorstep with some guy they had never even heard about. It would be unthinkable, unacceptable and disrespectful in most families I know. I suggest you start talking to them a little more. If you have trouble expressing yourself on the phone - start writing e-mails. Just start sharing with them a little more of your life. Yes, some things you do might come as a surprise to them; but if you share more of your inner world with them, perhaps they won't be as surprised in the future - as they will know you better. Keep the lines of communication open.

Answer 5

If you can't even tell your parents about your relationship with this guy, then I would question your relationship in the first place. You should really try to talk to your dad about it and tell him what you are doing and why. Family is a forever thing, so don't take it for granted. Maybe dad can give you some good advice. Be open to it.

Good luck.

Answer 6

First of all wait until the divorce is final before doing this at all..Wait until the time is right to have him meet them. You should not even think about living with him until the divorce is finalized. But do what you want to do. This is your choice and totally up to you.... I just feel you are being impulsive here and acting way to hurridley. Just think before you act is all I am saying.

Answer 7

Whew? Fly by the pants type of gal or what! Hope it works for you! I think I'd tell your dad via Tele, and let him meet him at the next opportunity you could before you move across the states with someone they have never met. Good LUCK

Answer 8

Maybe this would just be too much too soon for your dad. I would say do it gradually. Just live your new life for a while and see how it works out. Tell dad later. It sounds like he is upset about the divorce, why compound it?

Answer 9

Sounds like it wasn't about emotion. Things you have done are calculated moves and you forgot to include one variable. Your father is a man and men hate calculated moves. He can accept the divorce because your former husband beat you. But if he ses you dump one for another, he won't be on your side.

Answer 10

first of all - - - you are one fast moving sister.... you aint even fully divorced yet and got a new boyfriend and gonna move across the country with him..... WOW!!
as to meeeting your family, i would wait. the first visit just seems too soon. when you talk to your family bring his name up, talk about how good he is to you, yah yah yah...... then maybe say 6-9 months down the road bring him home and introduce him to everybody... its way too early now.