Is there something wrong with me?

Question

When I was like 7 my uncle sexually abused me, and i told my aunt his wife and she just sweepted it under the rug and didn't help me, though she claims she protected me, anyways i am 16 now and i hate being around her i feel sick....and my family makes me feel like there's something wrong with me like i should be ok with this and like her? im soo confused i don't know what to do? my uncle is dead now and, i am seeing a theripist. please help!!

Answer 1

I'm glad you are seeing a therapist. Your reaction to your aunt is normal and probably justified. If your aunt swept the information you gave her about the abuse then she didn't protect you did she? In fact, she protected her husband from being put in jail, while ignoring your safety needs. There's no telling how many other young girls (or boys) he abused. Sexual abuse victims never ask for abuse and its not their fault that it happened, no matter what anyone else tells you. Sexual abuse is morally wrong and it is a criminal act that warrants punishment. Putting myself in your shoes, I would be extremly angry with my aunt after telling her about her husband's behaviors and then not doing anything about it. As far as I can see, your aunt had an obligation to protect you, especially since you were a child, but she chose not to and this is also wrong. I don't understand why your family isn't more understanding about your feelings toward your aunt, unless they too don't want to cause conflict. Many time famies don't want to acknowledge that one of their members was sexually abused because then they would have to deal with it. Most people would rather ignore it because it does cause alot of friction in the family, but so what. This is your well being - it's still your well-being we're talking about and you are still a child (minor) in the eyes of the law. Your family is supposes to protect you, not abandon you during a time like this. If you were my child I would sit down and have a talk to your aunt, and if she didn't apologize or acknowledge that what she did was wrong (by not acting) then I would refuse to see her again unless she apologized in an authentic manner. You have a right to feel the way you do. No one gets to tell you how to feel, especiaily since you are the victim and they aren't. I wonder how various members of your family would be feeling right now if they were abused and the aunt did nothing to protect them?

Answer 2

How did she protect you? It doesn't appear that she did! To protect you would of been to tell her husband to drop dead, then call the police to press charges. She chose to sweep it under the rug because she couldn't stand up to him and face head on what he did to you. That's pretty common among family, actually. I'll never understand it. It's normal for you not to want to be around her ever again, nor should you have to be. Don't let your family make you think this thing is your fault in any way. If you WANT to, you can suggest that your whole family join you in therapy to work through these feelings. If you don't want to include them, just keep going to therapy by yourself. It will help you to resolve this issue one way or the other. Even though your Aunt did the wrong thing, if she can ever see it and opologizes, you may want to forgive her. Not for HER, but for YOU. Good luck.

Answer 3

No, Honey.
There is nothing wrong with YOU. The people around you need to deal with their "demons", though. You were NOT protected and the people around you all played a part in that, especially your aunt. Has anyone ever apologized for NOT protecting you? Sounds like you were betrayed by both your aunt's husband and your relatives. They are the ones in need of some "soul-searching". I applaud you for getting therapy to try to work through this. You have every right to be upset with your aunt. Your feelings are legitimate. Continue to heal. I am sending a prayer your way. Take care and stay strong.

Answer 4

Do the Journey-by Brandon Bays- get the Book the Journey, it tells the process. IT will clear all your past trauma and even though your And was not correct in any way it will help you deal with the situation and confront her at the soul level and it clears the whole situation. It really works. I did it for so many traumas and I feel very free from all this. Also read Bhagavad Gita as it is BY Bhaktivedanta Prabhupada which gives the purpose and meaning to life and how to get out of all this suffering and illusion.

Answer 5

honey, talk to your therapist s/he would know better what to tell you better than strangers on the internet. she violated you when she didnt trust that you were telling the truth, so its totally normal when someone calls you a liar to be totally uncomfortable around them when you see it as a truth....i have the same problem! i wouldnt be okay with her, she didnt trust you, so i would just work on relationship building for the time being!! good luck!! :)