While I was gone to my parents with the children, my husband packed all of our belongings and put them in storage and basically told me not to come back and that he was not renewing our lease. The dilemma is that he's in Canada and we are in the States. He's moved back in with his parents and has made no attempt to see the children and will not have a face to face meeting with me. He wants to file for separation and wants to do everything "step-by-step." Before we left, I was not under the impression that he would use the time that we were gone, to get rid of us and not renew our lease. Now I am stuck at my parents with no job and two small children. I miss my husband and want very much to meet him, but he's unwilling. Is there anything I can do to salvage this?
2007-02-04 10:01:57 · 53 answers · asked by pkb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Helll no why would you want to save this marriage what a low life to do this behind your back!!!!!!!!!!
2007-02-04 10:05:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I know you are scared, but now look at your kids and stand up for them. He's not worth trying to work something out with. GO GO GO to a lawyer and get him for abandonment, child support and alimony. You make sure you tell them how he abandon you while on vacation( well, visiting your parents) In some states, he could be made to provide a home for you and the kids until they are of age. Don't waste time, crying and hoping that he will come back. Tell the lawyer how he has made no attempt to talk to you nor see his kids. Why on earth would you want to salvage something with a person that does not love or respect his own kids. I'll bet he will want to talk when the court papers start coming. Who's paying for the storage? You better make sure, unless they're will be an auction of your all belongings.
2007-02-11 19:05:07 · answer #2 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry, this is happening to you right now, please take a moment for yourself, and try to see if this something that you really want to salvage, yes I see that you are married with the small children. But if a person especially your husband the father of your children, the one who is supposed to be the provider the head of the house, not make sure that you and the children are in a position not less then what y'all are accustomed too, is this someone you will be able to trust again. Or will you always have in the back of your mind that when the slightest wind blows he's a goner. That will not be a way to live for you or the children live. I will pray for you, to have peace, be able to get some rest, and be able to face tomorrow and always know that you can only depend on yourself from now on. Be an example for the children, and show them stability in it's best SENSE. Please be strong right now.
2007-02-04 10:15:56 · answer #3 · answered by sodgirl6763 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why do you want to go back to a jerk like that. 1. You don't do that to people even if you dislike them. 2. How can you just put your kids on the curb like that. and 3. He isn't even man enough to talk about it. I think you're better off by yourself than with him. Now I could be wrong and he could be trying to protect you and your kids from something by no contact. Do you know if he has anybody that would maybe want to harm you or him? Thats not likely but you never know nowadays. I'm sorry that you and your kids have to go through that, but you still have to pick up the pieces. Try to get a job and make an attempt at moving back on your own. I hope that your kids can't talk yet or don't miss him because I think it'd be easier for their lives to go on if its just something that happened to them in the past.
Once again I'm sorry and I hope that things start going better for you.
2007-02-12 07:25:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do u really want to be with a man that would put u and his own children in this situation?? My own father did something similar to my mother. This is the time to step up, if for nobody but Ur kids. Screw the marriage(easier said than done, i know) but when kids are involved u gotta do whats best for them no matter what u are feeling inside. Do whatever u gotta to to pick up the pieces and create a stable environment for your babies. By any means necessary. Make sure u get alimony and child support, and don't look back.
2007-02-11 11:33:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guess is that he's having an affair. Sounds crazy but I've seen this before. This guy is in some kind of crisis and he's doing this out of emotion not for any rational reason.
There's nothing you can do except take care of yourself and your kids. If your parents are a good support system then they may be your only avenue for now. Get a lawyer and make sure the kids can't be taken to Canada without your permission. This is not something to fool around with. Your kids come first. You may even file for temporary custody just to keep them with you and in the states. I don't know what the laws are in Canada so you're going to need to get a referal of somebody who knows both countries laws.
This is the most critical time in your break-up so get advice from a professional ASAP.
I'm sorry that you miss him, but your husband is not acting rational. That's only your problem in the fact that you need to get control of your living situation and that of your kids.
You can get therapy later. Just keep your wits about you.
Don't even bother thinking about saving your marriage now. It's the least of your problems. I'm sorry. This must be very hard for you. Good Luck.
2007-02-04 10:36:34 · answer #6 · answered by IveBeenThere 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There must have been signs before you left that he was unhappy. Honestly if he does not want his marriage to work and hes willing to throw away his family, he does not deserve any of you.. Get you a Good Lawyer. He will have to pay you Alimony and Child Support. Cover your bases, do not play games with him, because I am sure hes already been to a Lawyer. In the meantime, look for you a Part Time job and keep yourself buzy. You are lucky to have Parents that will support you through these rough times. All of this will make you stronger Girl, and you need to stay Strong for your kids. They are feeling their dads betrayal also.. Big Hugs to you
2007-02-12 02:45:02 · answer #7 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
|Oh now, think back a bit, I'm quite sure you had many signs that the marriage was on the rocks, and both of you probably did nothing about it. Now its too late he's finally made a move that is most likely best for both of you. Accept it, cry for a while, then step back up to the plate and hit the next one out of the park.
2007-02-12 01:15:00 · answer #8 · answered by eiplanner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him be, you can't force him to be a husband or a father. In the mean time, worry about yourself and your children, get your stuff out of his storage, put it in your own storage or your parents basement whatever works, get yourself a job and take care of your family. I know it sucks but its the hand you've been dealt, lots of moms have to take care of their children on their own and survive. With your parents support and a few prayers, you'll be fine. If you can't get him out of your head, seek some counseling. Please don't take him back, there's a reason he left like that, if you take him back he'll think its ok to behave that way. Good luck.
2007-02-11 14:56:16 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like its already too late for salvaging. Forget the seperation as its what he wants. Sue him for divorce on the grounds of dissertion or abdonment and go after him for everything you and the kids are legally entitled to. He will either go thru it or hes going to come back in a hurry. Personally youd be better off without a guy that takes off when his wife and kids are on vacation, real macho man. Dont get caught up in playing his games. Dont stand for this and take charge and force him to play straight with you. The divorce laws are on your side and child support collection is world wide so he can run but he cant hide. Good luck
2007-02-04 10:12:03 · answer #10 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Buckle down and get ready for some tough going till you can get back on your feet. Just keep in mind that rough times will get better and you will emerge from the situation better off in a couple ways. You will be wiser, you will be a more confident person for having seen yourself through this thing, and you will be rid of that rotten excuse of a husband you had.
2007-02-12 03:55:06 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋