Want help for depression and suicidal tendencies?

Question

I'm 15, cut and injure myself, and often have suicidal thoughts and tendencies. I also have a lot of anger in me, and fight with my dad a lot. For a little while now, I've been wanting to get better, but because I'm not in driver's ed yet and don't have a car, I can't really get any counseling (though I would probably have a hard time talking to someone else about this stuff face to face), or get any medication for it. Also, I'm not sure how I could even get any of that since a bill would probably be sent to my home or be put on my dad's account or bill or whatever at the doctors.

Is there anything I can do to help myself without my dad knowing?

It's not just the fights that go on between me and my dad.

The fights are about the stupidest of things. And both of us start them.

The fights are about the stupidest of things. And both of us start them.

I am not being abused.

Answer 1

There are any number of toll free hot lines that are staffed and ready to help. Your school counselor should have a list of local resources available. You are currently on a computer with Internet access, search it for free help.

All those are resources. In addition there is me. I have walked a lot on the road you are traveling. If you want to talk to me contact me through my profile. Leave a real email address and I will try to relate some of the things I have learned. I can't be your counselor but we can talk if you like.

A couple things to get you started. You are depressed for a reason. If you can discover that reason it will help. Even if you can't do anything about it directly you will know and understand what triggers your feelings. Second: Suicidal people don't want to die. They want to quit hurting. The pain is real whether it is physical, emotional, psychological, chronic, intermittent, imagined or anything else. It is real. When you understand what triggers the depression you will have a feeling for what your real pain is. If you can figure them both out, you can manage them. Now I didn't say they would go away, it could be a life long struggle but it is manageable.

Mine started over 20 years ago and I am still here. There is hope for you.

Answer 2

I disagree firmly with swiss girl. While men SHOULD be willing to discuss issues, it is often seen as an attack on their ability to handle a situation. It would be good to know what the arguements are about. If it is based on your point of view of life, and what is right, or best, perhaps you should listen more. Who does know more based on what has been experienced in life. Age does tend to teach things that youth has not yet learned. What is your anger based on? Hurting yourself is not the answer, I do know because I have been their myself. Your loss to society will do know one any good. Inflicting that kind of hurt on others is not an answer either. You are a worthwhile person, and your being here in this life is for a worth while cause. You may not feel that way right now, but it is true, because, again, I have been where you are now. I would recommend prayer. God does care about your welfare. I would also suggest that you seek out a church that has a good youth pastor that is popular with the kids your age. You could start by looking up Samaritans Purse, and asking them for guidance to a youth ministry where you can get the help you need. Confronting your father will eventually have to happen, but first there are deep wounds in your heart that need to be healed. Once you have the strength, and someone to back you up, you will need to confront your father, but not right now. Do pray, do seek out a youth ministry that will help you. They are out there, and I feel sure that Samaritan's Purse will be a good place to start. Another point of contact would be the Billy Graham Ministries.

Answer 3

The main thing one needs to know that this world is not our real home, it is called Maya (illusion) and is temporary and full of misery. We are not these bodies,IE, race, nationality, religion, mind, intellect, etc. We are eternal spirit souls, part and parcel of the Supreme Soul, We have to reconnect to be truly happy and free from all anxiety. If one takes their own life they become a miserable ghost who suffers incessantly the misery they experienced at the time of death. It only increases ones misery. So that won't help you. Realizing who you are in actuality and what your real purpose is beyond this material conception will brimg one great joy. Chanting The Hare Krishna Maha Mantra (the great mantra for deliverance from all suffering and illusion) is the quickest way to realize reality. Go to harekrishnatemple.c Read Bhagavad Gita as it is By Bhaktivedanta Prabhupada- tells the purpose of human life. A Psychologist may help you with your situation with your dad, but that doesn't make the rest of the miseries in life go away. So do the spiritual stuff first and you will get realization as to what to do with the rest of the problems. This you can do without him knowing. If he is molesting you or beating you seek a school counselor.

Answer 4

The anonymity that comes with asking on yahoo is comforting and convenient, but your problem is not something that can, or should be diagnosed by underqualified people such as myself--but I'll do my best to answer your question, though I have not shared in your particular past experiences concerning depression.

You really should seek some guidance on a professional level. Unfortunately, going to your high school counselor may NOT be the best choice in this instance--I can somehow see them taking drastic measures. It would however be completely warranted because they only have your best interests in mind. I doubt many of them are qualified for this type of problem, and they will seek help through outside channels which may only aggravate your problems (IMHO).

If you are 100% against informing your family at this stage... I'm sure you have your reasons, and I will respect that. If you have a family physician, I would highly recommend talking to him/her--making an excuse to see your family doctor would not be too hard, and I'm fairly certain everything said is between the doctor/patient. You issues could stem from any number of things--it might be wise to eliminate any medical possibilities before you attempt the (expensive) route of psychiatric help. I see commercials all the time about depression related prescription drugs. They may not be available to people under 18 without parent authorization, but at least the doctor can provide some personal guidance on your next step.

And when in doubt, your family should be the first group you talk to. This is not something to be ashamed of. They may be unaware of your troubles, and several heads are better than one when solving a problem. I used to get into tiffs with my parents when I was your age, but you need to realize that they have your best interests at heart regardless of what you may think at this stage in your development. They may be reacting rather harshly towards you due to the change in the social structure at home. I'm sure your father realizes he is losing personal control over you, and he will likely come to accept that over time.

Above, I gave you what information you asked for. From here on out, I am giving you some personal advice: talk to your family. There is no better substitute for dealing with personal problems. You may be embarrassed about this kind of thing, or afraid of having them look at you differently. I felt the same way at your age about every little thing. Having acne in high school was embarrassing and was not something I could overcome with over-the-counter medication. I eventually sought help and the successful resolution changed my outlook on personal problems. You'll hopefully come to realize afterwards that it's not as bad as it seems (when you have support), and your family will come to respect you for having the courage to bring it to their attention. Plus, all is forgotten in time.

I hope this helps you--the first steps are always the toughest.

Answer 5

Why wouldn't you want your Dad to know that you want to get help for yourself? I am sure he dosen't enjoy life either when the two are you are fighting. I am sure he would want any help at all to get things on track for you both. Time to sit down with your Dad and lay the cards out on the table. You need help and I'm sure he will be there for you.

Answer 6

call the samaritans. it doesn't appear on the phone bill, and it's a free phoneline. they're really fantastic, good luck :)

Answer 7

i'll probably get thumbs down for this...
but you could pray.
and if you don't want to for whatever reason, you could talk to people on instant messenger, which has always made it easy to talk about stuff like this for me.

Answer 8

“Love vs. Attachment”

What in the world is the difference between loving a person and being attached to them ?
Love is the sincere wish for others to be happy, and to be free from suffering.
Having realistically recognized others' kindness as well as their faults, love is always focused on the other persons welfare. We have No ulterior motives to fulfull our self-interest, or to fulfill our desires; to love others simply because they exist.
Attachment, on the other hand, exaggertes others' good qualitities and makes us crave to be with them. When we're with them, we're happy, but when we're separated from them, we are often miserable. Attachment is linked with expectations of what others should be or do.
Is love as it is usually understood in our society
really love ? or attachment ? or even possibly for some, only lust.
Let us examine this a bit more. Generally we are attracted to people either because they have qualities we value or because they help us in some way. If we observe our own thought processes mindfully, and carefully - we'll notice that we look for specific qualities in others.
Some of these qualities we find attractive, others are those our parents, or society value.
We examine someone's looks, body, education,
financial situation, social status. This is how most of us decide on whether or not the person holds any true value to us.
In addition, we judge people as worthwhile according to how they relate to us. If they help us, praise us, make us feel secure, listen to what we have to say, care for us when we are sick or depressed, we consider them good people, and it is this type of people we are most likely to be more attracted to.

But this is very biased, for we judge them only in terms of how they relate to "us", as if we are the most important person in the world.
After we've judged certain people to be good for us, whenever we see them it appears to us as if goodness is coming from them, but if we are more aware, we recognize that we have projected this goodness onto them.

Desiring to be with the people alot who make us feel good, we become emotional yo-yo's -
when we're with these people, we're Up, when we're not with these people, we're Down.

Furthermore, we form fixed concepts of what our relationships with those people will be and thus have expectations of them. When they do not live up to our expectations of them, we're very disappointed, or may become angry !
We want them to change so that they will they will match what we think they are. But our projections and expectations come from our own minds, not from the other people.
Our problems arise not because others aren't
who we thought they we're, but because we mistakenly thought they were something they
aren't.
Checklist: "I Love You if __________ "
What we call love is most often attachment.
It is actually a disturbing attitude that overestamates the qualities of another person.
We then cling to tightly to that person, thinking our happiness depends on that person.
"Love, on the other hand, is an open and very calm, relaxed attitude. We want someone to be happy, and free from suffering simply because they exist. While attachment is uncontrolled and much too sentimental, Love is direct and powerful. Attachment obscures our judgment and we become impatient, angry, and impartial, helping only our dear one's and harming those who we don't like. Love builds up others, and clarifies our minds, and we
access a situation by thinking of the greatest good for everyone. Attachment is based on
selfishness, while Love is founded upon cherishing others, even those who do not look very appealing to the eyes. Love looks beyond
all the superficial appearences, and dwells on the fact that they are just like us: they want inner peace, happiness, and want to avoid suffering. If we see unattractive, dirty, ignorant people, we feel repulsed because our selfish minds watn to know attractive, intellectual, clean, and talented people. Love, on the other hand, never evaluates others by these superficial standards and looks much deeper into the person. Love recognizes that regardless of the others' appearances, their experience is the same as ours: they seek inner peace, to be happy, to be free from sufferings, and to do their best to avoid problems.
When we're attached, we're not mentally and emotionally free. We overly depend on and cling to another person to fulfill our mental and especially our emotional needs. We fear losing the person, feeling we'd be incomplete without him.
This does not mean that we should suppress our emotional needs or become aloof, alone and totally independent, for that too does not solve the problem. We must simply realize our unrealistic needs, and slowly seek to eliminate them. Some emotional needs may be so strong that they can't be dissolved immediately.
If we try to suppress them or pretend they do not exist, we become anxious, insecure, falling into a depression. In this case, we can do our best to fulfill our needs while simultaneously working gradually to subdue them.
"The core problem is we seek to be loved, rather than to love. We yearn to be understood by others rather than to understand them. In all honesty, our sense of emotional insecurities comes from the selfishness obscuring our own
minds. 'We can develop self-confidence by recognizing our inner potential to become a selfless human being with many, many magnificient qualities, then we'll develop a true and accurate feeling of self-confidence. And
then we'll seek to increase true love, without attachments, to increase compassion, to cultivate patience and understanding, as well as generousity, concentration and wisdom.'

'Under the influence of attachment we're bound by our emotional reactions to others. When they are nice to us, we're happy. When they ignore us, or speak sharply to us, we take it personally and are unhappy. But pasifying attachment doesn't mean we become hard-hearted. Rather, without attachment there will be space in our hearts and minds for genuine Affection and Impartial Love for them.
We'll be actively involved with them.
If we learn to subdue our attachments, we can most definately have successful friendships and personal relationships with others !! These relationships will be richer because of the freedom and respect - the relationships will be based on. We'll care about the happiness and the misery of all human beings equally, simply because everyone is the same in wanting and needing inner peace, happiness, and not wanting to suffer. However, our lifestyles and interests may be more compatible with those of some people more so than with others, and that is alright. In any case, our relationships will be based on mutual Love, mutual interests, and the wish to help each other in life.