me and my g/f were together for 8 yrs.We had a break about 6 months ago for about 4 months and got back together (maybe to early).The original problem was her wanting to do a little traveling before settling.However before getting back together everything was discussed and we then planned to do some travelling together.The relationship was back on track and everything looked good and then she pulled the plug again saying she feels as though she can't do the things she wants to such as travel whilst with me.She says i am the greatest guy to her and i treat her so well,she loves me but just cant give me what i want right now.I have loved this girl for so long that i cant just let go, i told her i couldnt see her,speak to her or anything so i can just move on.The problem is this is killing me and i am scared of never seeing or hearing from her again now.Do i wait a while then contact her or wait for her to maybe 1 day contact me.There is just to much between us to give up on forever.
2007-02-04 09:19:47 · 10 answers · asked by whitey 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hey there bud,
Well I would personally call her.If you love her that much then tell her how you feel.It can't hurt to talk to her then you know how she feels and it will give you closure.It is better than wondering right??
I wonder if she is feeling smothered or something just back off a bit with her but not to much if you do talk or get back together or something.Call her bud
2007-02-04 09:29:33 · answer #1 · answered by Scorpio Man 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This girl probably feels very lost, afraid and alone. Although her relationship was not a very good one, she probably spent 5 years worshiping the ground the other guy walked on. She would have done ANYTHING and EVERYTHING she thought she could do to make her boyfriend happy. If it was an abusive relationship, she was a puppy following him around always being afraid of being hurt (either physically or mentally). Her moral is very low or non-existent. She has forgotten her priceless worth. After she broke up with her ex, she grabbed the first nicest guy that came along. She clung to familiar feeling of having a guy in her life that she was desperately missing. Now that she has gotten over the shock and has gotten use to not having her ex in her life, she feels that she has made a mistake of grabbing and clinging to you so quick. I think what you are doing is good. She needs time to sort out her priorities, her wants and her feelings. She needs to decide if she really wants you or did she only choose you for a rebound. Hang in there until she makes her decision. Let her know that you will be there for her whenever she needs you and in whatever level of relationship she wants. Good luck. I hope everything turns out ok for you both.
2016-05-24 06:11:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry the pain you are going through. This is never easy.
It sounds like she really is just not ready to settle down or be with any one person. She may love you and knows you are a good guy...but something is missing. That is usually the case when people go back and forth. They are afraid to be alone, and they like the comfort of the other, but usually once that connection has been broken...you can rarely get it back. That is a huge statistic not in your favor.
Darlin...you were right to break contact. Don't take it personally that you were not her everything, or she isn't ready.
The best way to move on...is to move on. Grieve the loss. Be happy in your own life. It is possible to love someone enough to let them go. That is what you need to do.
We always feel we will never find love again...but we WILL. She may be wonderful in your eyes and that is beautiful. The fear you have of never seeing her and holding a candle for her...is only hurting you. What is meant to be...will be. IF she comes back, you may or may not decide to be with her. I mean...she has hurt you and is playing with your emotions, so you need to think about that. Just don't make yourself or her wrong for this series of events. Feel the pain (I know it sucks!) but feel it, and then move into your new life. Believe me, the more you avoid dealing with the misery of losing someone you love, the longer the pain lasts. If you actually allow yourself to feel it...it miraculously goes away a lot faster!! I'm sorry to say, but all the great things you had together...are still not enough of what she needs...and you can't change the way people feel. That is the sad truth. Don't beat yourself up. If something is right...you know it. If something is not...you know it too. It's only when we get into being afraid and going back to what we do know that we finally realize we knew the truth all along. She knows her own truth...you need to listen to what she is not saying.
Have faith in your ability to be a great, awesome guy to someone who will love everything about you and want a life with you. You do sound like a catch by your willingness to change, and your devotion to her and the fact that you are on here, asking for advise.
Have faith you will find someone who adores you as much as you are capable of adoring them without you having to change.
Good luck!
2007-02-04 09:46:42 · answer #3 · answered by kallie m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just want to say you guys have been together for a long time it's like being married. And now for the second time she left, that's gonna take some time to get over. It seems like she need some space. If you really feel the need to work things out you can try to call her and talk to her about this. Other than that you just gonna have to meet some other girls and move on.
2007-02-04 09:39:45 · answer #4 · answered by anna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really crappy situtation to be in! I am 22 years old and well just getting out of a 4 year marriage! My ex was in the army he went state side to Colorado! In 2003 i was pregnant with his daughter he broke it off with me saying that it was just to painful. He was gone for a year and then decided i was good enough to be with! My thoughts are this! Walk away! Very quickly! Cause it sounds like she is doing what my ex did to me! Your good enough when no one else is available! Well if she is gonna travel then of course she wants her options open "just in case"! I know that is pretty messed up but thats my guess! Then chances are she isnt gonna meet anyone worth while! Then she will come home and say i realized i really wanna be with you and i think we can make this work! Don't do it! Go out meet new people if you wanna be friends with her do so! But if i was you i would save yourself the heartache and leave it at that! But thats just my opinion!
Single mother of 2!
Kell
2007-02-04 09:32:27 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is tough. that is a long time, and for her, that is all it is. don't try to rekindle this relationship, you will be wasting yet another precious year or eight more even before you end it for good. if she comes back then she has done her part of the compromising and she is in love with you. i don't think this girl is in love with you at this point. hard to read i know. she loves travel more than you.
2007-02-04 09:26:29 · answer #6 · answered by REALLY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you should do is maybe talk to her now and see what is going on. tell her how you feel about the situation if that doesnt work out then its her she should make the next step. good luck!!!!
2007-02-04 09:24:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm... I'm no lady, but... this woman broke up with you TWICE. You're not paying attention, IMHO. Maybe after the 3rd or 4th time?
2007-02-04 09:25:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really love her then propose her. if she does nor want to do this that means she is not ready or she just doesn't love you. how old are yous?
try to do something new on the relation ship. XXX
2007-02-04 09:28:10 · answer #9 · answered by sara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you love her than call her and talk. if you just can't let go then you two really have something going.
2007-02-04 09:24:05 · answer #10 · answered by HorseLover#1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋