im an asian girl n my boyfriend's asian 2..... lately he's been treatin me really badly n i jus thought im not gna put up wit dis so i tried 2 break up wit him.... but den he threatened 2 tel my parents n i dnt wan my parents 2 find out otherwise they'l kill me. My parents hav dat 'tradition' wher us girls aren't allowed bfs, ive been goin out wit my bf behind their bak, i really wish i neva did now.... my bf threathens 2 make me life hell if i break up wit him, he sed he's gna f**k me up so bad dat my whole familys gna suffer if i try 2 leave him...ive cried so much over dis coz i dnt kno wat 2 do, i wana get rid of him witout my parents knowin...plz help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-02-04 09:18:18 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Go to the police and then to the courthouse to get a restraining order on him!!! ASAP
2007-02-12 08:30:51 · answer #1 · answered by ~~**ttktd**~~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the end of the day you must tell someone (apart from on here). Are you at school? If so then you should tell someone you trust (a teacher perhaps?)
You must end it with him though, but before you do then tell your parents that this boy has been harrassing you, but you've been trying to make him leave you alone. Tell them what he's threatened to do and that it's a lie because you would never go out with a creep like him.
I do feel for you, because you hear there terrible things that Asian parents do to their own children because they disobeyed them. Are your parents really like this? If so then the lie would be best. If they aren't then perhaps the truth really is the best way to go.
2007-02-11 23:18:38 · answer #2 · answered by lollysarah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your parents will be very angry that you have gone behind their back , but always remember,they are your parents and they love you. You must tell them, you cannot be blackmailed by this chap, things will only get worse.
Let your parents know that he is harrassing you and that you know you made as mistake and are sorry you betrayed their trust in you,and realise how right they were not to want you to get involved with anyone yet.
They will respect you for being honest,although obviously they will be cross)but let them handle him, I'm sure than can do a better job than you.
Truly, I know your scared,but at the end of the day it's the best way.
It's obvious this boy knows he has a hold on you and that you are scared of your parents finding out,call his bluff.
2007-02-09 18:17:00 · answer #3 · answered by animalwatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is abusive behavior and you have a right to be protected from it. But it must start by you asking for help. ( I guess, in a sense, you have by placing it in Yahoo questions.) You must speak to somebody who is in a position to help you. Are both your parents so strict that you can't be frank and candid about it without being punished again ? You are the victim here not the problem !
Are you of school age ? If so, there must be a teacher you can speak to at your school and with whom you feel comfortable and confident that s/he will treat the matter in a confidential way. Do you have a close friend ? Often a problem shared is a problem halved. Yet, you have to do more than just talk about it.
In many countries there are laws against harrassment, which is certainly what you are experiencing. Find out, from your teacher perhaps, what protection the law gives you in this situation.
You cannot give in to him. You are in a cycle of violence here. Violence comes in many forms but what all forms have in common is that the victim feels fear and that they are alone and vulnerable. You have much to fear from this man because if this is his definition of love a lifetime of pain awaits you if you do decide to give in to his demands.
You have to be very brave and strong. You have to tell people what is happening to you and you have to do it now.
2007-02-11 22:40:41 · answer #4 · answered by John M 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We all make mistakes and either way your going to have a bit of a rough time of it but you can't let him beat you at this, is there no one an adult who you can trust to help you with this? someone who can warn him off. If not maybe you can call his bluff let him do his worst but tell your parents before he does talk to them I know they will be angry and you will go through some pain but it has to be better than him threatening you, be honest explain you have made a big mistake talk to your parents the truth has to be better than a continued web of lies and you living in fear every day cause it seems like no matter what happens this boy is gonna make your life hell for as long as he can stop it now before he really does something to hurt you
2007-02-08 21:30:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi K-husty92
I guess you 15? by your sign-in, ( if so then I assume no sx involved)
Sorry you are in this situation but things may not be so bad once you take control of your own life.
It is your life! so you must make your own choices, you must also accept responsiblity for the choices you make.
Part of growing up is that we all make some mistakes, we put them behind us, become wiser & deal with things better next time a similar situation arises, eventually you become true to yourself, & don't take no s**t from anyone.
You must not do anything that you do not want to do, for whatever reason.
This boy that 'was' your boyfriend, obviously does not care about you, or your feelings at all, & it sounds like he is very immature too,
This is a mistake that he is making, he believes that he can threaten you & bully you into submission or to impose his will on you, the solution to this is ... DO NOT LET HIM !
I hope that you can find the courage in you, to speak to your parents, they will see it as a sign that you are growing up & they should be glad that you are wise enough to ask for their help when you need it. If you are able to talk to them in a sensible & adult way, it will help them to understand you & the things that worry you, of course they may be over protective sometimes, but that is because they love you & care about you. They will give you their best advice if you ask them for some guidance to handle the situation you have found yourself in.
If you want to talk in confidence, mail me anytime & let me know how you are.
Take good care of yourself
2007-02-07 11:55:25 · answer #6 · answered by healer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, he's showing his true colors. He's a very violent and screwed up person. It is worth getting in trouble with your parents than staying with someone like him. As for the the threatening part, try to record your conversations with him or something and get a restraining order on him. If he takes it too far, have him arrested. Don't let him control your life because he's a loser and scared of being alone.
2007-02-12 05:22:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you confess to your parents and tell them that the way of the united states are different and you thought better , but now you know that the old ways are the best. thy will understand and when your father finds out how this boy had been treating and threatening you he will take care of things. this boy of the same culture has come into his family and dishonored his daughter, this will not be tolerated . you could say you trusted him, to do what was right. but he did not. If this keeps up it will only get worse. he already has threatened your family. and the head of the family MUST know. it might be easier to tell your mother. in any case YOU are the victim. this boy has taken your culture and turned it to his advantage. GO STRATE TO YOUR PARENTS AND TELL THEM. yes you make a mistake but you have learned what can happened, this think can only go one way down deeper and deeper let your parents help. that is what god put them their for.
2007-02-11 21:58:38 · answer #8 · answered by Mary w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should know that when you do the wrong thing s..hit will happen.
Tell your parents, if you have to do so with the help of the community police or your guidance councilor from school or a priest, you get it...
You need to get rid of that child you call a boyfriend
Try and do the right thing ... "measure twice.. cut once" it not impossible, you will make mistakes but not plenty and not like that piece of s..hit aSSin boyfriend
2007-02-12 04:29:09 · answer #9 · answered by mllttsmn2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell your mum or dad about this, yes they are going to be cross with you but not for long. You could tell him you are going to tell the police if he does not leave you alone. Just stop talking to him or texting him and things like that. He will soon lose interest in you if you dont want to know. He will find some one else to treat like crap. Change your phone number and go to different places that he does not go to.
This is so hard when your parents have their religion and you are so scared to talk to them about this problem you have. I really do hope you sort this out. GOOD LUCK
2007-02-04 09:42:28 · answer #10 · answered by Pinkflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really a time when you need to sit down and talk with your parents and tell them you love them but you disobeyed them and regret it but you are trying to make it right.
Tell them that you tried to break things off with him and he is threatening you. You can get a protection order from the police and if your in school you can go to the principal, teacher, school counselor and let them know what is going on.
Stay away from this guy. Dont accept his phone calls or go to places you know he will be at. If you are in classes with him have your classes changed if necessary. Do not let him get away with it.
Yes, your parents maybe angry at first that you disobeyed them, but they love you and they will be glad that you respected them enough to admit a mistake. They will be more upset with the boyfriend than at you. Do the right thing, and let your parents know how right they are. good luck.
2007-02-04 09:32:52 · answer #11 · answered by hopefloats 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋