Once a week, or every two weeks sounds right to me. Three times in one week is way too much.
2007-02-04 08:52:59
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answer #1
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answered by olderbutwiser 7
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You know what I think, I think he goes out that often to escape the bordom of home! If you are both watching TV then who is making the effort for family activities? Do you go out as a family do you do ANYTHING other then watch tv? Like maybe take walks or go to the park? Do you go out on dates? You might be pregnant and have no money to spare but a date is just simply time spent between the two of you enjoying each others company.
I am not saying its right he goes out that often, but I do understand. Make things fun and interesting at home and he won't go out so much. Does he like poker? have a poker game at your place and sit in on a hand or two.
It isn't uncommon since the two of you are at home all day together that he just wants some space. Don't you ever just want a break from him and the baby? Even if its just a uniterupted bubble bath? A night out with your friends?
2007-02-04 10:45:17
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answer #2
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answered by swtlilblonde31 5
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I think that it should not even be a once a week thing. Most married couples whether they have jobs, or go to school or whatever it may be dont even have enough time for each other. I feel that especially since you have a child and one on the way your time will be even less. First there is family time. this means time with all of you together and then there is husband and wife time. time with just the two of you alone without the kids. that would mean two days out of the week. 1 for family 1 for you and hubby. and i am sure that just these two days alone are very hard to get. If you have not gotten those two days then your husband shouldnt even think about time with buddys. He has a family now he should be thinking about this as his number one priority. My husband and I never see each other we have a 7 year old and a three month old. We do have family time and we try to make time for just the two of us which is like never so if we dont even have time for each other he wont be going out with his friend and I wont be going out with mine. I believe that once in a while is ok but my husband never goes out with his friend and if he does it is either with the kids or while I am at work and the same goes with me. Also a lot of times too we have our friends come to our house that way we can all be together. Although it is healthy to maintain a relationship with your friends this can be done at school, at work , over the phone etc. I believe that when you choose to be married you choose to tell all your buddies that if my wife cant come than i cant come. if there is a strong desire to just do manly things but still be there for the wife then stay at home, have the buddies come over set up a dart board, play some video games at the house where your family is but in a separate room. as a wife dont disturb him unless you want to get in on the game my husband thinks its cute but otherwise give him that . at least he is still somewhere where you can get him if you go into labor or need help with the kids, but only if you have had your family time and alone time. If he hasnt given you or the kids their time but wants to spend time with his buddies away from you then he is not a family man. And his buddies need to know that you are a family a whole package and as mush as they want to spend time with him too your time with him and your families time with him are what is the most important and they should understand or else they are not good buddies. My husband and I made a promise too each other that I wouldnt go to the clubs unless he was with me and he wouldnt go to a strip bar because these were the two things we thought were direspectful to do when you were married and had kids. I once told him i wanted to go to the club with just the girls and he was so offended and said why cant i come. I said because it is different when it is just the girls. I obviously hurt his feelings and never went . we go together and i am happy for it. if friends want to hang out i tell them ok but i have the kids or no i havent seen my husband we would like some time alone. try telling yours these ideas mabe it will work. if his buddies dont understand then maybe that is why they are still single. He should get some new friends. maybe married friends. good luck
2007-02-04 09:51:51
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answer #3
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answered by mamamia 2
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When you have a family and don't work.......you shouldn't be going out with your friends at all. Sounds like he's not ready to be responsible yet. I'd sit him down and tell him it's time to grow up or get out. He IS selfish. Try doing things as a family during the day when you're not at school. Take your child to the park, go for a walk. Sitting at home day after day watching tv is not healthy for your little girl, or you! Get out, do something......together. I hope he changes before you have your little boy. If not, I'd be contacting a lawyer if I were you.
2007-02-04 09:04:09
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answer #4
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answered by ksgirl 3
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Once a week is sensible, i would of thought but i think if he spent more time with you during the week in the same room ie then you would want him to go out a little more or even arrange to go out yourself for a night and let him see how it feels. So tell him you will be going out a couple of nights a week and look for the reaction take it steady though wont you and good wishes for you n the baby/kids.
2007-02-04 09:02:03
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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Exactly as many times as he's prepared to stay home and take charge while YOU go out and do your thing.... (and not just leave a big pile of work for you to do when you get home, either!)
Which probably means zero times. With babies and toddlers in the house, there's just no time for the carefree lifestyle he may have had before kids! It's not all fun at this stage, but hang in there, it just gets better and better!
2007-02-04 09:05:12
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answer #6
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answered by Abigail 5
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He is selfish. He's missing out on you and your children. He needs to spend time with you guys especially after second baby comes your job is going to get way harder. You should let him know that you need him to spend time with you and your children. Once a week with his friends is more than enough.
2007-02-04 09:39:43
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answer #7
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answered by heveansent 2
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Oh my god, maybe once or twice a week. You have a little one and another little one on the way. You two need to make the effort to watch tv together. My husband watches the most retarded shows ever, but I suck it up so I can spend time w/him and vice versa. Read a book during the shows, or something. You two need to quit being so selfish and spend some time with each other. I don't blame him for wanting to go out, if he comes home to a selfish and naggy wife, who would want to come home? Not me!
2007-02-04 08:59:48
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answer #8
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answered by SillyKimmie 4
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One time a week is acceptable...BUT with a new born I think ZERO times is better for the 1st month or two once the baby arrives. Caring for a new born PLUS a toddler is going to be a joint effort. He should understand that.
2007-02-04 08:56:19
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answer #9
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answered by You Don't Know Me! 4
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How often do you have you gal pals over? Is it more than once a week? If you do, then stop nagging him about his man time. Let him go out. You aren't doing anything worthwhile at home to keep his attention, so why not let him go and hang with his friends?
OR maybe, jsut maybe you can reach out to him and ask "Hey, what do YOU want to do tonight?" Or maybe ask him what HE wants to watch on tv..or what he wants for dinner..those types of questions. You'd be surprised on how quick he'll turn around and want to say "Well, i wanna watch a movie with you, if not i'll jsut go do it with the guys..." So, if he says that, then grab some popcorn and watch the movie! Or his fave show or play games with him, or send the kids to grandma and have a night of sex! (yeah, you can have sex when your preggers)
You get more done when you're nice and don't nag..remember that!
2007-02-04 08:54:11
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answer #10
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answered by Pandora 6
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