I HAVE NEVER ASK HIM TO LOVE ME MORE OR HIS PARENTS LESS (I UNDERSTAND THEY ARE TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF LOVE) BUT OVER THE YEARS HIS LOVE FOR THEM IS SO MUCH DEEPER THAN HIS LOVE FOR ME. I HAVE TOLD HIM THIS AND IT ALWAYS ENDS IN A FIGHT. I HAVENT ASK HIM NOT TO CALL, VISIT OR BE A PART OF THEIR LIVES I JUST WANT EQUAL RESECT AND LOVE FROM HIM. IT JUST SEEMS TO ME THAT HE IS HAPPIER WHEN HE IS AROUND THEM RATHER THAN AT OUR HOME. SINCE WE MARRIED HE HAS SUFFERED WITH DEPRESSION AND OVER THE YEARS I HAVE TRIED TO DO EXTRA THINGS FOR HIM TO LET HIM KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM. NOTHING I CAN DO SEEMS TO HELP, MABE HE WOULD BE HAPPIER BACK HOME WITH HIS PARENTS, I AM AT THE END OF MY ROPE AND HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO!!
2007-02-04 08:43:41 · 11 answers · asked by T MAC 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not a competition, sweetie. Logically you recognize it's two different types of love...but you're still feeling hurt because it seems to you that you're not getting the depth of emotion from your husband that he gives to his parents. Does that accurately sum it up?
It's VERY difficult to be married to someone with mental health issues such as depression (my ex-husband has bipolar disorder, so I speak from experience). It can have a big impact on YOUR mental health. So my first question to you is this: Have YOU been to counseling for yourself and been evaluated for depression and other such mental health issues?
You have to work on yourself first. From that work will come a sense of self-worth that will give you security in the fact that you ARE a person worthy of love. It will also enable you to evaluate why you feel threatened by the level of attention your husband gives to his parents. Furthermore, it will give you strength and courage to broaden the spectrum of your life to include more of your family and friends, incorporate more things into your life that brings you joy and happiness (such as pursuing new hobbies, going back to school, spending more time with friends, etc.).
You are good enough just the way you are - if you weren't, your husband wouldn't have chosen to spend the last 19 years at your side! So try to stop finding ways to "make" him behave in a manner that makes you feel more loved...you can't "make" someone think or feel or behave in a certain way. The only power you have is over your OWN actions and reactions.
Work harder on loving yourself and becoming more self-assured and less insecure. Focus on being yourself and accepting and loving yourself. Everything else will follow.
Good luck!
~zoni~
2007-02-04 08:57:25 · answer #1 · answered by zoni_tonya 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your husband seams as if he is still a boy. He likes his parents better for he has no responsibility. No bills to pay while over there, they take care of everything.
Then he comes home and has to be a man, this is hard for he has a family of his own. He has bills and hopefully a job. He has to be grown up.
When a guy marries he needs to put his wife and family way up there on the pedestal, your husband isn't doing this or you would not be feeling this way. To bad too.
Good luck and try family counseling. If he is this miserable let him go and move on. You might be right and he would be happier back at daddies house.
2007-02-04 08:52:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i imagine you pick to ask God what you should do. God is Love, Justice, Merciful and punctiliously moral! (dishonest isn't in His rule e book!) Your no longer in love, only wait 9 months to a year till the infatuation to positioned on off. you should analyze infatuation. -then you truly may comprehend what i'm speaking about. what's neighbour aunt? through the way are you waiting to tare a wedding ceremony aside and flow via a messy divorce together with her to get her and then improve 2 little ones that are not yours. and in case you do this stuff how are you going to trust her... you'll continually be looking over your shoulder waiting for her to cheat on you.
2016-11-25 01:42:16 · answer #3 · answered by bertao 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to deal with it. You would be wrong to try to make your husband feel guilty for loving his parents. Maybe he IS happier around his parents, maybe there is a reason. What you should do is....quit nagging him, let him love his parents.
2007-02-04 08:50:28 · answer #4 · answered by ksgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never marry a man who doesn't put you first. It's too late for this one. But next ime you'll know.
2007-02-04 08:48:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It took you 19 years to figure out he was a mamas boy. You know you can't change him , or their relationship. So you either accept it , or you don't.
2007-02-04 09:12:20 · answer #6 · answered by joy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've married a "boy/son" who doesn't want to grow up and be a husband. Accept it or leave him.
2007-02-04 18:55:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he gets angry because u have hit onto something, he knows what he is doing, but has no intention of changing it. he is not happy in his marriage, he is never going to give u equal to what he does them. u either have to live with it or decide not to. if u aren't the priority in his life i can see why u are upset, but we can't change others or what they do.
2007-02-04 08:55:21 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
give him good times in bed!!
2007-02-04 08:53:35 · answer #9 · answered by Ask April :P 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this is tough and good luck!!!!
2007-02-04 08:48:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋