My husband says that I should make eye contact with him while making love. I am not comfortable with this. I do love him, we have been married for twenty years but this is something I feel is personal and I have never done it. How can I get him to understand that this is not a personal attack against him?
2007-02-04 08:15:09 · 30 answers · asked by roxy 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do just what you have done here; discuss and explain your feelings. That's what's important.
When it comes to sex, everyone has different, specific turn-ons and turn-offs. Most of the time, they don't really conflict and other times it takes a bit of communication and compromise.
Obviously, it really turns him on (or would) if you looked deeply into his eyes when making love.
Oh, well.
We don't always get ice cream with our cake....
Talk to him......perhaps you can meet him "half-way."
Perhaps he'll just have to deal with it.
2007-02-04 10:26:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like for some reason you have intimacy issues. You have been with your husband for a number of years. It is suprising you can not look him in the eye. Has something happened to you that you feel ashamed? I would say you need to talk to someone about this. A friend, a doctor or maybe your husband. Work on it. It is important. I know i was raped. It can be difficult to feel comfortable in sexual situations. In time it gets easier. I have been married twenty years as well. It will work out. Good luck.
2007-02-04 08:39:25 · answer #2 · answered by janine b 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Being married and making love is very personal. What is it with women that want to keep their eyes closed during one of the most intimate acts around.
It took me awhile but I finally found a partner that was just as open about love making as I am. Oh what a feeling it is as you look into the eyes of the one you love while making love.
I hope this has been of some use to you, good luck.
"FIGHT ON"
2007-02-04 08:27:27 · answer #3 · answered by Skip 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is that looking each other in the eyes helps me and my wife be a lot more intimate as we are making love. I watch her expressions and it helps me know when I am hitting the right "buttons" which makes her enjoy it all the more. There is nothing more wonderful than looking into the eyes of the person you are so deeply in love with as she is climaxing, knowing you just did that for her. Hope I was helpful!
2007-02-04 09:04:37 · answer #4 · answered by Tom 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Whats more personal than making love to your husband of twenty years look him in the eye so he can see that you are being pleasured and not faking it like alot of woman due
2007-02-04 08:21:39 · answer #5 · answered by b p 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All I can think of is Bernie Mac talking about a woman looking up at him while performing oral sex...I think it was on The Original Kings of Comedy.
Rent it--you'll see the part I'm talking about.
I've never been married, and certainly not for 20 years, but I remember talking to some people about our shared therapist (we were in a support group after he died--otherwise, you don't usually meet your therapist's other clients who come in for individual therapy.) I said I loved seeing all the facial expressions he made while he was listening--it gave me a lot of feedback while I was talking, without interrupting me.
She said she never looked at him while she was in session.
I couldn't believe it--I would have hated not looking at my therapist's twinkly eyes and cute little bald head and wonderfully expressive face. It really added to the experience.
So I'd say, get over your hangup--it'll probably hurt you less to do it than it hurts him when you don't do it. Who knows--you may learn to like it!
2007-02-04 08:33:11 · answer #6 · answered by SlowClap 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's very intimate and sexy. You feel it's "personal"? Oh he can't do that but it's okay if he goes down on you and sticks his dick in you - that happens all the time on the subway. Nothing personal.
Who else are you going to be personal with if the your husband of 20 years? What are you, a reptile? If you couldn't look me in the eye during lovemaking, I'd rather just f*ck a pot roast.
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? Figure it out and then go apologize.
2007-02-04 10:50:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure there's anything more personal than sexual intercourse. I'm with your husband on this. I love looking into my wife's eyes while we're making love. I think it really adds something. Give it a try. It might enhance the sensation during sex, and what could be wrong with that?
2007-02-04 08:50:22 · answer #8 · answered by rtanys 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How much more personal can you get than making love with your husband? When you make eye contact during love making you're not just looking at his or her eyes, you're looking at the love of your life, your soulmate.
2007-02-04 08:22:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and let him know how you feel. If you have not tried it I think you should try it one time. I did not think I could do it either but I got used to it. It makes it more intense, there is something about it when he looks you straight in you eyes. It really makes you feel good.
2007-02-04 08:27:10 · answer #10 · answered by rodisio 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋