What to do about my wife cyber cheating on me?

Question

Hi my wife of thirteen years is cyber cheating on me i have caught her doing this a few years before and had ask her to stop then but she is back at it again this time with a much younger man.she always completely denies it even when faced with the proof :[.I am at the end of my rope at this point and do not know what to do or how i should proceed .I could really use some good advice from someone that cares

Answer 1

Okay admittedly I have done this too...Yeah everyone can act all innocent but they are full of crap..

I got busted too.....and it nearly killed my husband..he took it very seriously when I really jusrt thought it was something silly to pass boredom....Wow was I wrong! He had an affair on me after this all too and we are still together...I really felt I had no justification to get mad after I had cheated on him and when confronted with it and pushed into a corner I actually said I loved this guy I was cyber cheating with to justify my actions.....Then I found out the guy I cheated with had lied about his age was only actually 19 years old when I was 26.....This was a long time ago and I learned my lesson.....I almost killed my marriage and you need to tell your wife how much it hurts you..The fact she lies about it says to me she doesnt see it as anything majorly important either but she also is not ready to stop....Protect yourself....leave her if you cant get through to her....dont wake up and find some guy ihn your real bed one day......Its hard to tell if she is just bored and thats why she is doing it or if she is really seeing whats out there in order to leave you for someone else and doesnt want you to find out about it now.....In my case my husband worked 14 hour days.....I loved him to death but when he was home he slept all the time and I was bogged down with daily chores of having three toddlers so at night while he worked and left me home alone I got on the net and fooled around......I totally regret it and realize I was the one at fault even though I told myself at the time it wasnt hurting anyone and it wasnt serious.....

You cant ignore this problem...it wont go away all by itself....If you are busting her just one time just think how many times she is doing it without you knowing! been there done that.......

you can email me for support if you would like....Im not sure Im helping here or making it worse though :( good luck sweetie...

Answer 2

First of all: you look for trouble that's unnecessary trouble. How did you prove this? The only way you can prove this is by going into HER account which is breach of trust on your part.

Secondly: she is at home, on the pc, she is not out there having sex with anyone. I think that people who accuse each other of cheating online overdo it a bit.
Maybe if you sit down with your wife and calmly talk to her, asking her what the real problem is, why she gets so excited about this online thing, and what she things YOU are doing wrong for her to look at other men at the net--maybe then you will find a common ground where you both have a positive input and positive feedback which will work things out. Everything else is a control issue.....

Answer 3

cyber cheating should equate to real divorce. She obviously does not care much about your feelings and is already acting on some fantasies. It will only be a matter of time before the cyber cheating takes the next step. It's a terrible thing. I'm very sorry for you.

Answer 4

Hi there, i have to say you might not like this but .. i have been with my partner for 13 years too and we both used to do this sort of thing and i really cannot say it cheating in a weird sort of way, now if she was meeting these men it would be a different story altogether, but could it be she wants more attention from you she may feel as if your not providing this and the reason she has to flirt on line, i still do this on line and my partner knows about it, i just see it as harmless fun, i hope you can sort it out x

Answer 5

Take it to God. Remove the temptation. Remember that we all have our weaknesses, yet for some reason, people find cheating extra offensive. Tell her you wish to seek counseling. As a couple, and as individuals. Tell her HOW it makes you feel.

My husband would smoke at work on his breaks. He lied and tried to hide it from me, and I would get angry. He knew I didnt like it, because I have lost 13 family members to smoking-related causes, and I didnt want to lose him too. It wasnt until I totally broke down and started bawling, that he realized that I wasnt just angry about it... My anger was just a symptom of the grief that I was feeling. It made something click in his head and his heart. He quit cold turkey and is 3 1/2 months without a ciggarette.

Answer 6

Divorce

Answer 7

Well is she is sneaking around and talking to other men on here and not telling you she is, then she is wrong for doing so. She might feel as though she is missing something out of the marriage. I am not blaming you for her actions but she must be trying to fulfill something she is missing. Talk to her and tell her how much you feel disrespected by her talking to these men on the internet.

Answer 8

My ex did this to me twice before and admitted it. At the time I put up with it. Now a days? I don't let any person walk over me.
Show her the door.

Answer 9

unplug the internet,or use a password protected system that would block her access to these sites.If she is role playing with this guy/boy,assume the role he is doing,and give it to her for real.If she is really interested in someone younger,tell her she has a choice,adapt to the one your with,or what your doing may be grounds for a divorce.

Answer 10

Women have a strong tendency to deny (insert stronger word here).

This tendency is much, much stronger than in men, because American women are unaccountable and unreasonble.