the problem is she is sweet as can be to my bf(we are getting married next mon)as long as he does what she wants.but can't stand me and goes out of her way to let me know she has a child with my bf so shes more "family " to him then i am.she allways trys to come between my bf and i by not allowing me to share in thier sons life.for example i'm not allowed at any school function.my bf has joint custody so he and his ex have daily contact so its not possible for me to just ignore her as shes in our life so much .when ever we see her which is often shes all chaty smiling sweetly to my bf then looks at me and glares.the funny thing is he left her and cheated on her(not with me) how can i learn to deal with on my own as my bf will not stand up for me as he feels it will only make problems for his son.
2007-02-04 07:23:49 · 3 answers · asked by suemac502 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ouch, that sounds horrible. Unfortunately when she's in your face you need to be the bigger person. She may not let on, but that will just eat her up inside. She throws those things in your face because she's feeling hurt and insecure. She says them more for her own benefit than yours. If you and your boyfriend are serious and are looking to have a life together he needs to talk to her and tell her to cool it as you are going to be in his sons life. If they have joint custody of him she can not tell him you can't be there. She does not set those rules. If you are going to be in his sons life it's important you are at those school functions so he can see you showing an interest in him. If he refuses to step in and take control of the situation that is not a good sign for the future.
Be as nice as can be to her, she'll hate it but not be able to say anything. Chances are she's still hung up on your boyfriend so the more mature and adult you act, the more she'll look childish.
2007-02-04 07:31:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult situation for sure. She is trying to intimidate u, and make u feel less important than her, so don't allow her to do that. As far as u being part of your bf's son's life, she has no legal say in that. He has joint custody, and u are about to become his wife, and no court is going to say he can't have u part of his son's life while he has him. When u see her be friendly, as hard as that will be, and show her u are the one he loves now, and she is the "x". He will see the true light of his x when u do this. He will see your effort, and your kindness, and she will end up looking like the fool. Be sure u can accept this as part of your life, because when their is a child involved, unfortunately that means many years of the x in your life too. Once she sees that her attitude towards u is not going to affect u, it won't seem as fun and she will probably back off. The only thing I would be sure of before marriage is that your bf agrees that his son and u will be part of each others lives if u are truly going to be a real family. Good luck with everything.
2007-02-04 08:16:26 · answer #2 · answered by Amber 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My bf's ex comparable way. She cheated. He tries to be amblicable. she will't stand how the divorce got here out, he have been given 50/50 and moved on with out her (we've an exquisite residing house and he or she is in a tiny house). it extremely is been 2 years and he or she nevertheless is as rude, and a screaming maniac as she replace into the 1st time I met her. merely wait until eventually you have a contemporary lady chum - it gets worse! Get a humorousness, and enable her words roll off your lower back. . . walk away.
2016-12-13 08:44:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋