Need advice?

Question

I have a 2 month old baby boy , my husband works away from home for 2 weeks at a time and is only home 1 week a month. I have been taking care of the baby full time , even when the husband is home. I feel like i am about to go nuts. I live in an isolated area without transportation , so i cant go anywhere. The baby just keeps crying , he''s not hungry , he's not in the sun , he's got toys , he's warm he's clean..he's not gassy he just seems to cry and cry and cry unless he is being held all the time. I cant get any rest at all I feel like i am going nuts here. I just dont want to hold him all the time. He is very heavy (15 llb) and i just get sick of holding him for hours on end when i have a lot of other things to do (please dont answer this question if you are on over opinionated non-parent who thinks you know everything about parenting) I need suggestions from other parents in my situation.

Answer 1

You need to get a baby carrier.

AND you need to find some way to get out or some local moms.

Answer 2

I know it can be extremely difficult...you feel like throwing yourself in front of a bus! I had a similar child(he's 20 months now and just as sweet as pie) and the first three months are a total blur....mostly through my tears! Babies like mine and yours are called "extremely fussy," where they're not quite colic but they're not just fussy. What I suggest is buying some good earplugs....that's what I had to eventually do. When I found myself getting really frustrated with him I would lay him down, go to the furthest point in the house from him, put my earplugs in and lay on the floor and sleep. Sounds depressing? It was! But you HAVE to get a break or you WILL go nuts. Don't worry about him in the crib-the first few times I did it, I would freak out that he would choke or something....total nonsense. He is totally safe in his crib and you will be a better mommy if you can get even just a 30 min nap. You can also wear then while you're doing stuff around the house so it blocks out some of his crying. Also, when your husband is home, he needs to take the baby out of the house on a drive or something so you can get a nap. I also laid down with my son during the day and we would cat nap together. Just remember, that it does end. Around 4 months it get better, 6 months it's even better and by a year, you'll be thinking of having another!

Answer 3

Oh my. Do you have any friends or family around that would be willing to babysit for an hour or two so that you can get a few minutes alone? I'm sure that your son is wonderful, but you should try to get some "you time." (Yes, this can be difficult as we moved a few months ago and don't have many friends or family nearby.)

After you've fed, held, cuddled, changed his diaper, cuddled some more, bathed, and cuddled some more, place him in his crib and let him be by himself for a little while. When our daughter was one-month-old she cried and cried. It wasn't colic, she just needed to let herself be heard. We were exhausted!!! It was bedtime and we put her in her room and left. I'm sure that some people would think we're terrible, but this method actually worked... in the long run. My husband and I think the world of our daughter and spend lots of time with her. However, one step in being a good parent is to be well rested so you don't lose your patience and go insane.

Our daughter is one now and she will keep herself occupied in her crib for about 30 minutes - usually this is if she's tired, but not sleepy enough to go right to bed at the designated time.

If your son continues to cry constantly, you may want to ask his doctor to make sure he doens't have any other problems. Also, please discuss this situation with your husband. He may not know what to do with his son, but let him help with the feedings (if you're bottle feeding) and change some diapers. These things take time (and if your husband doesn't do things "just right" let it go... he'll learn over time). After he's comfortable let your husband have some one-on-one time with his son.

It can be hard those first few months, especially if you're stuck at home. Hang in there!! Being a parent is very rewarding :) It's okay to let your son cry for a little while if all of his major needs have been met. Yes, it's hard to listen to him cry - mom's are made to comfort - but place him in his comfortable crib for a few minutes and take a bath or do something you like (with some music on) for 20 minutes or so. In time things will get better!

Answer 4

From my own experience try to finish as much work as possible while the baby is asleep so you can play with him while he is awake.Babies this age love to be held and he must be enjoying it.Dont deprive him of this as it will help his emotional and physical development. Also one doctor had advised me to pick up the baby and hold and carry it while it is happy and not to do it only when he cries, as they are smart enough to see the connection---cry and someone will carry me. So you use reverse psychology.
I used to give my baby a nice oil massage in the morning, followed by a hot bath, swaddle the baby warm and cozy and the baby would sleep for hours. If I was too tired I would sleep while the baby was sleeping and get my rest. Forget having a spotless house and the dirty dishes for a few months. Rest with the baby. You really need a lot of rest alongwith the baby.
Basically, I just think you need a lot of rest and sleep for the next couple months till you feel strong enough. If at all possible, request a mom or mom-in-law to stay with you for a couple months till you recover.

Answer 5

You are in a very tough situation. My suggestion is getting a sitter. Take some time for yourself. As for wanting to be held, if you have a swing try that. Sometimes the motion is enough to keep babies quite long enough for you to get some things done. As for sleep...you should still be sleeping when that baby sleeps. If you are unable to do that then you need to schedual some naps through out the day. When your husband is home take some time for yourself. I know that you want to spend time with him but is you are not happy then that baby can feel the tension and make things worse. talk to you husband and tell him hw you are feeling. Maybe your husband would allow you to travel with him once in a while to get away from just being in the house all the time. If you can save some money and find a little beater and buy it so you can get out of the house with your son. sometimes a change in environment is helpful. think if you are feeling isolated maybe your bay is too. I could go on forever here but you ahve to do some brain storming too and come up woth your own solutions. You have to have time with yourself and you need to be happy for that baby to be happy. If you need anything I am here through e mail and what not. There are support group for women in your situation who take turns sitting and going out. See if you can find one in your area.

I say t you good luck and try to release some of the tension you are having. I promise if you do than your baby will too.

Answer 6

I suggest the book "On Becoming Babywise" which you can find on half.com for fairly cheap. Getting your baby on a schedule can make for a much happier baby and mommy. You and your husband have to talk about the car situation. Get a cheap second car, even consider selling your first car to get 2 less expensive cars if necessary. Just knowing you could go somewhere can help you feel less isolated. Invite friends to visit, joing a playgroup (check at your hospital for new mommy groups). Hire a sitter when your husband is home so that you can spend time together--and make it totally baby-free, no talking about the baby. If you can't bear to hear the baby cry himself to sleep, put him down then jump in the shower for 20 minutes so you don't hear the crying, chances are he'll be asleep when you get out. One thing you learn is that baby's don't die if they cry a bit, put him in the swing or bouncer and get your chores done.

Answer 7

I am a mother of three. I have been in your postion. My husband is a police officer and his schedule is crazy and I would be with all three kids by myself with the baby screaming. Make sure is formula is the right kind for him. Make sure he always has stuff to entertain him. Get a baby sling and when you do carry him around you will have your hands free. Put him in a bouncy when you vacuum, dry or hair or run a box fan. Babies like white noises. It also could be acid reflux that is very uncomfortable for your baby and he dont have to be spitting up all the time to have acid reflux. Talk to his ped. about that and his formula. Keep your sanity and take time out for yourself. If you know he is dry, fed and there is nothing you can do for him and you are busy doing something he will be okay to cry for a little bit. It will pass! Good Luck

Answer 8

I am a mother to 4 children and each one has had a different disposition. I too asked for help and advice when my last daughter was your son's age and the best advice I got was to just embrace it and to accept that our role as mother comes at a temporary cost of our sanity. I had so many nights where I felt so alone and even though I have friends and family to help out I still felt like I had to do it all on my own. The best thing I did (and I didn't start until my daughter was 9 months old) was to pay the neighbor's kid to come play with her. I never left the house but I just had the 'sitter' there so I could cook dinner, pay bills, etc. She was a little young (10 years old) so I would never have left her alone with my daughter but it was nice just having her around to help out. You might want to try something like this if you can find someone local. Good luck and try to enjoy the good times with your little guy, he really will grow up so quick.

Answer 9

First take a deep breath you need to talk to your husband about getting transporation what if you or the baby get hurt -how are you going to get to the hospital you live far away from anyone? Have a family member stay with you until your husband works out a better schedule mom .. grandma anyone so your not alone!
Also consider staying with some while your husband is away trust me I've been there if you don't get help now you will find yourself getting mad at the baby you can do it!:)

Answer 10

I am a parent and about to have my second child in 4 days (well thats my due date) im 23 yrs old. My opinion is to obviously tell your hubby how you feel and that it is not fair. and if you have any friends or family around then god means ask for help. Poor girl you need to be helped out. My husband works in 12 hour shifts and sometimes he works all night and sleeps all day. Im use to it with my 3 year old son, but it will be hard with him plus a newborn you know. Good luck and ask for any help you can.

Answer 11

My kids all had swings and vibrating seats. They were life savers... for both of us. I know how hard it is to take care of the kids alone 24/7. My hubby works a lot too and I don't think the kids would have made it with out them. Also... Sometimes you need to just let him cry. Walk away. Go sit outside, take a bath, cry with him. It is normal. Make sure all of his needs are met then just let him be. Wont make him stop crying but it may make you feel better for a minute. Your still human, let yourself be. Good luck