My cousins parents are getting a divorce. I'm very close with there family. There only daughter is 11. And she isn't taking it well. I'm like her sister in a way so I feel as if I need to be there for her. Do you have any advise for me to handle this. My parents are no longer together so I know a bit of how it feels. But I don't know my father AT ALL...And her parents want to stay in touch and friends!
What can I do to help???
2007-02-04 07:00:23 · 19 answers · asked by `~Its love~` 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm AWARE that it's there business...I don't really care it's over for them...There doing it cuz he cheated on her!!!
And thank you for those who left nice and understanding answers...I'm aware that she needs to come to me first...and not to talk behind her back as while as to never blame her and to not say bad things about her parents to her face...I guest I just wanted to make sure I was right...To hear it is nice!!!...Thank-you!!!
2007-02-07 17:12:28 · update #1
Just continue to be her friend. Just having someone she can talk to about it will be a big help. Don't try to fix anything (because you probably can't anyway), just acknowledge her feelings.
What I'd try to avoid is placing blame on either parent, because your cousin may be trying to do just that. Later if you've said anything bad about them, you will be sorry when your cousin gets used to the divorce.
2007-02-04 07:10:16 · answer #1 · answered by Christie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do about the divorce or change the way your cousin feels. No one has that power. What you can do is be there for her - just be present. Share your experiences with her in terms of how it felt, the stages you went through, and listen. Just be a good listener and a good friend. There are all sorts of books out there about divorce, and perhaps you and she could read a book about divorce together. In this way you would be offering moral support. Make sure she doesn't isolate and stay inside all the time. Get her out and do something fun together. Soemtimes getting out can lift a person's spirits. The main thing is that she has to accept the divorce, no matter how painful it is or how unfair it seems. And most of all, she can never, ever blame herself for being a reason for the divorce. Children are never the reason. Divorce happens between 2 adults when things are not working anymore. The research shows that children are better off if their parents divorce rather than staying together whenever there is stress and negativity most of the time. It wil be normal for your cousin to go through all sorts of thoughts and feelings. Let her express them and feel them, but know that it doesn't make you any less of a person that you can't solve her problems for her. This is a slow and painful process to deal with, but with a friend like you there she will get through it better.
2007-02-04 07:12:57 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should just let her know how much you love her and let her know she can count on you for support, no matter what. If she continues having problems dealing with the changes, you could have a talk with both of her parents (with or without her present) to let them know how bad she is taking this. They may be able to get her a counselor to help her through this transition. She should be alright as long as the parents don't bash each other in her presence. She might find that she can have the best of both her parents. When parents try to stay together for the child's sake it normally just makes everyone miserable.
2007-02-04 07:26:38 · answer #3 · answered by jodi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make certain she understands very, very well that the problems her parents are having are not her fault in any way at all. Then, let her talk and you just listen without saying "You shouldn't feel that way" etc. Don't judge her or her feelings. Just listen and let her know you understand. It won't hurt to tell her that you'll do your best to see that she is always cared for and has a place to live.
2007-02-04 07:09:45 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just be there for her when she needs someone to talk to, maybe there is nothing you can do other than give her comfort. take her out someone. don't make her try to have fun, just get her in a different environment so she isn't thinking about her problems 24/7
2007-02-04 07:05:24 · answer #5 · answered by Debt Free! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just Act Normal...Everything Will Be Fine
2007-02-04 07:04:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just be a good friend to her and be there for her when she needs you and needs someone to talk to about how she is feeling.
2007-02-04 07:58:01 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to rent the Mrs,dog fire acting or robin Williams that is the best movie to explain any thing to do with a divorce, also tell her how you deal with the problem. but the movie is the best way.
2007-02-04 07:06:57 · answer #8 · answered by i,m here if you need to talk. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
chuffed birthday Nikki! i wish you've a really tremendous day. you should have a really positive sister for her to imagine you you even even as she has a lot happening. continually treasure your sister. She seems to care plenty about you. ideal desires for the year ahead. would all of your birthday desires come authentic. XXX
2016-11-25 01:26:00 · answer #9 · answered by artzer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a tough job. Just don't say any thing negative about her mother or father.
2007-02-04 07:03:59 · answer #10 · answered by Iqbal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋