Okay,your in your spouse's email and see emails from "Adult friend finder" with lists of the opposite sex in your area. You "sign in" and see that all their info is there and correct. You officially know it wasnt just another advertisement but your partner took the time to join,except the money hadnet been paid to access these people in your area,they can only browse at this time. You bring this up to your partner,who denies it at first,then admits it bc theyre clearly cornered. Your spouse says they had no intention on going further. Your spouse has the emails stopped(at that email account anyway) and you basically drop it(for the most part).A few months later theres an "adult friend finder" icon on your computer desktop. Now,whats your opinion? Please dont TELL ME to leave him. This isnt about me,just say your thoughts.
2007-02-04 06:32:35 · 15 answers · asked by TrofyWife 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WHEN CONFRONTED ABOUT THE ICON,YOUR PARTNER DENIES PUTTING IT THERE AND MENTIONS HOW OTHER THINGS HAVE MYSTERIOUSLY BECAME ICONS AS WELL
2007-02-04 06:37:05 · update #1
BRUNETTE---I DIDNT MEAN TO GIVE YOU THUMBS DOWN,SORRY.
2007-02-04 06:37:45 · update #2
Thats a tough one Trofy. It definitely seems like he is at least talking to other people. He may not be doing anything with anyone, but it looks like he wants to. If the icon on the desktop was a picture of three smileys, then thats the friendfinder messenger.
The best way to go about it would be to talk about it with him. It will be hard, but you need to bring up the subject without getting him all defensive. Is there a reason that he would want to talk to other women? Is there something missing in your relationship? If so, maybe you could address that, and he won't have a need to go elsewhere.
If none of that works... they have programs that let you record keystrokes. So you can see everything he is typing. Uh oh!
2007-02-04 06:42:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
This person is lying. Period. Numerous people sign up for Adult Friend Finder and no icon appears. Know why? It's not software - it's a location. A software installation can put an icon on for you, but AFF isn't software. So the desktop shortcut *has* to be put there by the user.
"Icons appear like magic." B U L L S H I T. And if they do, you delete them.
He's a typical spineless lying cheater. They don't have the backbone to confront issues, so others must begin and pursue the confrontation until things are resolved.
Some spineless guys can eventually face the fact that they are spineless and grow one, but most never do so expect more of the same in the future for your "friend" who you are asking about (wink, wink).
2007-02-04 07:23:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he can't be trusted online. This is the second offense, and trust gets damaged worse and worse and worse. I would tell him that you just feel you can't trust him online. Tell him you want the internet removed, or at least his access without your being home.
If he agrees, then just drop it. Leave it alone.
The other option, is find out why he went there. Is he looking for other girls? Could he be looking for guys? Maybe he fantasizes about a threesome or swapping with you. The glass is half full, you caught him on a sex hook up site, not a personals site, so he's not looking to replace you.
He might just be turned on checking out the girls that are out there that are wild, and real, it's kind of a turn on to see amateur girls, you know, ones that are real, and not the ones that are in hollywood porn land.
He may very well just be stroking it, and not thinking about cheating at all. If you want to be really sneaky, get a keylogger program, that will track everything he types, everywhere he goes. Then you can find out what he's got in mind.
You should IM me and tell me more....I might be able to help more with this, but I've got nothing, know nothing about the guy or your relationship.
I'm looking for work while in college as a mediator, maybe like 5$ a problem, you guys can each email me your problems, and I'll work out a solution. I'd love to help, I'm good at it, and really fair.
Good luck with this, if I can help, let me know.
2007-02-04 06:50:01 · answer #3 · answered by badbadboy6979 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with the same website and I confronted him and I noticed where he no longer visits the sight. He never paid or anything but he did get those emails. You can check after him by going into your website history. Play around with those icons at the top of the web page (ie. file, edit, view) I thinks its under view and click on history. That will give you a list of all the websites from that computer. Good luck!
2007-02-04 06:47:02 · answer #4 · answered by step b 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
AFF icons don't automatically appear on a computer. This is a very fishy situation. I would recommend "your friend" either look at the computer's web history and it will tell when the last login to AFF was. Or buy software that tracks all activity on the computer including keystrokes. Then you (err, I mean, your friend) will have the logins and passwords. Sounds like a repeat cheater to me, it's only a matter of time before he takes this further.
2007-02-04 06:44:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He may not be emailing any of these woman but by looking at their profiles he can see what they are up to and then approach them in person.You may want to look on the Men's profiles and see if there may be one that matches him.The icon on the desk top was more than likely put there intentionally for quick reference.Sounds like you need to do some more investigating.Maybe you should download one of those key loggers and see what sites he is visiting and also who.
2007-02-04 06:46:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well your husband was on that site again obviously. Icons don't just appear on the desktop by themselves. If your husband did all this to you what makes you so sure he won't do it again? Once a cheater always a cheater. If you were once not good enough for him to have sex with how are you all of a sudden good enough? Once he seeks sex elsewhere that draws a red flag and that red flag will always be there whether you choose to see it or not.
2007-02-04 06:53:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
answer your question: if that happen to me,I will investigate well if that is true or not.If that is true,then I will get divorce.Marriage is a serious institution,a serious business.wives and husbands can not play with the family's matters.If a wife or a husband want to play with the marriage,cheating;is better for them to get divorce and stay singles.Singles they can do whatever they want.But staying married,that behaviour affect the family(children),and destroy the marriage at all.Good question.
2007-02-04 06:51:13 · answer #8 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My question is... why is he searching for someone? I would suggest that your friend needs to look at her behavior and see if she is pushing this guy to find someone that will make him happy. Unless he is a chronic cheater (and if he was he wouldn't be getting caught like this) he is just sad and lonely. I would talk to your friend about what she could do to make him feel more loved and supported. Men typically don't go out looking for someone unless they have a lot of needs that aren't being filled..sometimes it's just as simple as hugging him at the door when he comes home and telling him you miss him!
2007-02-04 06:34:50 · answer #9 · answered by katiebug 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
i think it is cheating even if u think about it and go to the trouble of creating an account even if they were not gonna act on it they are definatly thinking about it and its only a matter of time before they do act on it......
2007-02-04 08:56:37 · answer #10 · answered by samwise25 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋