my husband cheated on me several times, he came clean about it only after I confronted him with a ton of evidence. Since then I have kicked him out of the house and let him move back. He still lies about things and hes definatley hiding things still Re: his cell phone. he put a lock code on it and refuses to let me look at it, also I have been counting and watching the # of text messages he sends and recieves and when I do get to his phone ( usually hes in the shower) I find he has erased them all. My feeling is that he is still messing with this girl, the last cell bill shoed him talking to her after I confronted him, he told me he wasnt talking to her but shes calling him all the time, and the night I kicked him out.. sure enough she called him. What the heck do i do? I dont trust him, he is still lying and hiding things, I am at a loss here.
2007-02-04 06:21:04 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my husband says to tell you "don't be a fool all your life!"
2007-02-04 07:32:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get him into some counseling, but if he refuses, then he has no intention of giving up his bad behavior. Take care of yourself because he obviously is NOT going to take care of you. He's still cheating, no doubt about that. You can't "fix" him. If you leave him and he marries this other woman, he'll do the same things to her. Don't waste your whole entire life on somebody who can't love you more than he loves himself and the life he chooses. Cheating is a choice. He's made it. Now it's your turn to make a choice. If after an attempt to get him into counseling has failed, nothing is changing - you have to choose. Either get out and save your sanity, or choose to stay and live with always being #2. Do you really deserve second place status for the rest of your life? It seems like he thinks so.
2007-02-04 06:38:56 · answer #2 · answered by nana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't trust him then what is the point of staying in the relationship. At this point, it is your fault that you are allowing this in your life, not his. You know that he is lying and cheating and you are making a choice to stay with him, why? Is your self-esteem really low? Do you feel that you can't leave? It would be better for you to move home with your parents and get your life together than to stay with someone you don't trust just because you are afraid of being alone. He will forever sense that you are insecure enough to put up with his bull **** and he will continue the behavior. Nothing will be more appealing to this person then you leaving (but you actually have to leave and not come back)...
2007-02-04 06:24:10 · answer #3 · answered by katiebug 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Once a cheater, always a cheater....you paid your karmic debt by giving him a second chance, and he blew it. Kick his A$$ out of the house and do not look back. This guy either has feelings for this woman and won't let go, or he is a sex addict. You will be better off without him, otherwise you will always be suspicious of him.
Or ask him for an open marriage, what is good for the gander is good for the goose too.
Come chat with me
2007-02-04 06:26:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. You diserve so much better. I mean, take a look at what you just wrote. Spying on him, being sad because he lies, checking on his cellphone messages, thats not a good life woman!
I say you should just divorce the bastard and start a new life, try to find someone that will not hurt you like he is doing.
No woman should have to go through this kind of treatment, at all.
2007-02-04 06:26:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What did you expect when you took him back? You expected everything to be ok and that he loves you right. Once as cheater always a cheater. It is a big red flag with everything he is doing it is not exceptable and that is not what a LOVING spouse does behind the wife's back. Im sorry but he is a male slut who is just out for a piece of ***. I had an ex that did all the very same to me. Love is blind you will really see his true colors once you finally wake up from his dumb ***. He DOESN'T deserve you.
2007-02-04 07:00:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's still cheating, follow your instincts. He wants the best of both worlds and seems rightfully confident that you'll keep taking him back. He probaby just doesn't want to give you all his assets!! And he obviously doesn't feel guilty, or you wouldn't have all these signs that he is still messing with her. Divorce him, take his money, and use it to get yourself a makeover and a good man!
2007-02-04 09:04:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
those who have nothing to hide hide nothing. he is lying to u about her, so u won't confront him about it. where there is no trust there is no relationship. when u allowed him back he should have than shown remorse, and been happy to be back, he is playing u for a fool. he is hiding the calls and he is still with the woman, so let him go be with her, cause u don't have a marriage anymore.
2007-02-04 07:26:25 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe that you are being so naive. Sweety I hate to break the bad news to you but its time to get those divorce papers in order. He hasn't givin you a chance to trust him and he's showing all of the signs that he's still cheating. Your still sticking around so he feels he can have his cake and eat it to. Get out of this relationship before it gets any worse. Its not rocket science...Divorce Lawyer!
2007-02-04 06:40:49 · answer #9 · answered by step b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Several times???? So what's your question? I guess you've never heard of divorce? Hey, marriage is a bad idea in the first place...to continue to stay in this situation doesn't say much for you. If you think you have to stay "just because you vowed", well, god bless you. You're a saint. I basically think you should castrate this guy in his sleep...and I'm a guy.
2007-02-04 06:24:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try counseling however your best bet would be to gather the ton of evidence of his adultery and visit a divoce attorney. The evidence will be especially helpful for you to gain custody of the kids and most everything else he owns.
2007-02-04 06:26:25 · answer #11 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋