why are some people so secretive about everything ?

Question

and say its because they are a "private person"
when it wouldn`t bother me one bit if every detail of my life was broadcast world wide.and i`m not talking about deep dark secrets .just normal stuff

new born kitten i`ll get me kit off and dance on a table if you really want me to
i`m not shy

sorry smily i only said it wouldn`t bother me .i don`t tell my life story to any one who will listen i don`t tell other peoples secrets and i don`t rip my clothes off at every opertunaty .If someone asks then i tell them its a psychology question thats all

Answer 1

Christine got what I was going to say. I'm the type who will refuse £30000 to go on TV to answer a few questions even if I'm skint. That's life. Some people don't want to do a dance in the street its nothing to do with paranoid at all its called privacy.

But these days of BB TV and "How clean is your house" and "Wife Swap" people think its OK for others to know all about them. I think not. Unless you are close friends or married

Answer 2

It is generally because they do not want people to judge them. Often this is from some insecurity issues whereby they are overly concerned with how they a perceived by others.

In simple terms they think that people will not like them if they express their true feelings or actions.

Sometimes people do it as a method of control the intrigue captivates peoples attention. To be honest I do this a lot and it works well as a teaching method as it is much more effective for someone to work something out for themselves with a little guidance than to simply tell them the facts over and over.

Then there are those that are deviant and really do have something to hide.

We all have masks of varying degrees how many people are truly themselves in public. How many people would really love to punch that guy who pushed in front of them today right in the nose? Why didn't you? because you have been conditioned to be a law abiding member of society. So much so you probably didn't even say anything to him just in case it caused trouble.

It is only when you remove all that conditioning that you can reveal your true self and see the world as it really is.

Answer 3

my folks were like that.. I am so totally the opposite. I read somewhere that people that lived in countries where there were secret police & repressive governments have a tendency to pass this on to their own children even if they are living in America. I never saw my birth certificate until I was over 21, I didn't know my Mom's first name until I was 10, she signed everything Mrs then my Dad's name.They never told me the cost of anything nor would they have credit cards since the companies asked for too much personal information, everything they bought for was in cash. No paper trails for them!

Answer 4

Some people are introverted and some extroverted..

Personally I am the opposite to you, it is not that I am secretive per se just that I like to choose who to share my life with. (Namely those who I care about and those who care about me..)

It is a point of irritation for example when someone I hardly know sits and tells me their life story/intimate details about themselves when I don't know them well.. or worse goes into details about every minute aspect of their day/life etc I find it tedious..

For aquaintences - the witty high or low lights etc are fab..anything else is a definite no no..

Yet when I know/care about someone I love nothing more than to share these things.. but as I say I am not vain enough to think that people would anything other than bored with the intimate details of my life in the the absence of that emotional connection - none of us are that important!

Also with people who are too open I always have an issue of trusting them in that I expect them to be the kind (probably unjustly) of person to not be able to keep a secret or not be able to form meaningful friendships etc since they attempt for everyone to love them/like them/be interested in them and the details of their lives.

****ADDED AFTER READ YOUR ADDITION - ***

The fact that you admit to not being phased by for example table dancing etc speaks volumes as does your initial Q so another area of difference is that you seem to have a need to get approval externally.. Extrovert/attention seeking behaviour such as this often masks an inner conflict or self doubt..(over compenstating?) am I really attractive? Am I interesting etc? With people often in a cyclal pattern of life and soul of the party/everyone's friend but at other times really really down/full of reproach..

Not always though - so perhaps another difference between introvert/extrovert is that introverts do not look outside themselves for self esteem/approval etc

So further Q's could be - Why do you feel you want to be so open with people you don't know? Why do you need the approval of strangers? Why table dance to feel attractive when it is viewed so cheaply (a certain kind of woman etc) by most men so will never gain long term respect etc?

Answer 5

I am secretive due only to the fact that I have family members that questions everything. I get so damn sick and tired of answering questions about what I do so I simply do not share my business with anyone anymore. Nor do I ask people questions regarding their everyday life. I find it to be very snoopy.

Some call this being secretive, I call it being comfortable with myself and MY decisions, not needing anyone's recognition or acceptance.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh life is good !!

Answer 6

If you are talking about the British they are among the most secretive people on earth. Their natural instinct is to be reticent and are usually not forward in their approach to strangers.

Britain is a nation of secrets and of secret societies.

Shhhh!

I'm not paranoid, it's just that theres this world wide conspiracy to get me. So, I'm taking no chances.

Answer 7

Are they secretive with everyone or just you? Maybe it's a trust issue. Maybe they've been burned in the past or have a low self esteem. Maybe they just prefer not to have their life exposed to ridicule. Maybe they don't feel comfortable talking about themselves. It could be a variety of reasons. I wouldn't take it personally, it's just the way some people are.

Answer 8

Maybe they don't trust others because they had negative experiences in their lives.

Or maybe they have Paranoid Personality Disorder. That's rare though.

Or they need some time to open up. Even for normal stuff...

Answer 9

I think you answered your own question - because they are a private person. Just because it doesn't bother you to broadcast everything, doesn't mean other people want to. I don't like to dish out everything about myself, even if it's just normal stuff. I don't want to divulge everything to a stranger.

Answer 10

For most people it is experience

For others its self preservation

You probably wouldnt want to know their deep dark secret anyway