Okay, so he's emotionally abusive and I'm afraid for my one year old daughter and I, etc. etc. etc. If you want more info look at the other question's I've asked because I'm sick of typing out all the details.
Anyway, so he's in the army, right now he's doing field training for two weeks and will not get back to the apartment until the 15th. My mother is flying out wednesday the 7th to help me and my daughter get our things shipped back home and take care of last minute things and then we're all flying back to Iowa together. He doesn't know I'm leaving. He has sent me two text messages wanting to know how my daughter and I are doing, telling me he loves me, blah blah blah. I really don't want to respond, and I definately don't want to tell him what I'm doing. Should I respond with a simple "we're fine"? I don't want to piss him off because I'm afraid of him. I'm leaving him the car, furniture, and EVERYTHING that does not exclusively belong to my daughter and I. read on...
2007-02-04 06:07:07 · 7 answers · asked by .*AnNa*. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I will be leaving him a note when I go, along with the number of a nearby counseling facility where he could go to get help with his drinking and anger issues. I was simply going to tell him that I went home to be with my family because I can't handle the drinking or emotional abuse any longer and I am afraid of what he might do next. What should I do? I'm so anxious about all of this? I'm leaving now because this is the only chance I have to leave safely. Before he went out to do field training he was talking about getting out of the army (possibly going AWOL), I found a charge to our debit card for a phone sex number that cost $57, and I found is ex-girlfriends number in his cell phone. I also suspect he has been using drugs.
2007-02-04 06:10:40 · update #1
I am sorry that this is happening to you, and from my experience you are doing the right thing. You may want to just answer as usual but I suggest you get an attorneys point of view on here on what steps to take to protect you and your family where you are going to. It will be very likely necessary to get an order of protection. I didn't stay at a shelter but they are great at guiding you through any steps you may need to take. Take care and many blessings to you and your daughter.
2007-02-04 06:53:27 · answer #1 · answered by auntkarendjjb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you sincerely think he has addiction issues, please don't just abandon him. Contact some of his buddies in his unit. Talk to his family. Is there an assistance program in the Army? Maybe contact them for help.
The emotional abuse, the phone sex and the ex-girlfriend's number could (and most likely are) all be symptoms of the addictions. That is probably not the real man that you married. Your man just needs help in getting past the dependency so he can see that he's not that guy and get back to being the man you married.
It could be that you need to get away for him to understand that you're serious about him getting sober. Sometimes people don't see what they have to lose until they think they already lost it.
I hope he gets help soon. I also hope that if he gets treatment you will offer him a second chance to earn your trust and be a good father. God bless you and your family.
2007-02-04 14:53:19 · answer #2 · answered by penhead72 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are doing the right thing in leaving. But you should try to act as 'normal' as possible when it comes to corresponding with your husband. You don't want to tip him off that something's going on. So answer his messages the same as you always have in the past.
Good luck!
2007-02-05 00:15:01 · answer #3 · answered by Ruby V 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better to leave now than later.I wouldn't wait around to long and when you do leave I wouldn't come back without police protection.If you feel he is a threat to you and you child just leave everything there and don't look back.When you get to your folks house maybe you should take out a restraining order just to be safe.
2007-02-04 15:08:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow. I just want ot say good for you!!! I am really impressed that you're leaving. I read so many questions on her where woman complain and whine that they can't take it anymore but they do nothing. You are actually taking steps to do whats best for you and you daughter. I really admire your courage.
Take care and good luck.
2007-02-04 14:52:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
baby just do like your doing,move yourself and child to a safe place.if he truly loves you all he get some kind of help.but since you are afraid of him i personally wouldn't go back.
2007-02-04 14:54:57 · answer #6 · answered by glender p 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell him your fine not much else he needs to know just do the best thing for u and you daughter
2007-02-04 14:38:16 · answer #7 · answered by penguini_9214 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋