what would you class as an emotional affair? Is it as bad as a physical one?

Question

has anyone lived through this in their married life and found the marriage is still strong?

Answer 1

I don`t see how you can have an emotional affair, without it becoming physical. If you are confiding and sharing problems with another person there becomes a bond, and someone feeling vulnerable through rejection by their partner may find a willing sympathetic ear and pair of arms, very inviting and hard to resist. Although I suppose you could have a physical affair without it becoming emotional. This would be more likely for blokes though.

Answer 2

You don't give any details what is happening in this emotional affair, but I can guess. Some would say that this is a classic platonic relationship. In that sense everything is legal because there is no sex. I think such relationships can be unhealthy if the emotional levels get too high. I'm guessing now but I'm thinking that the female part of this "affair" is getting most of the benefit and the male is mesmerized by the emotions.
I can say, regretfully, that I have been in such a relationship. I had a friend at work who was going through a hard time in her marriage and I felt like an emotional dumping zone. At first it was OK, then it got heavy, and finally it was too much for me. I was starting to get feeling of desire for my friend which I knew full well were inappropriate.
I had found a new job in another state and thought I had nothing to lose if I made my true feeling known. Wow, was that a big mistake. I've learned since then that deep emotions belong in the marriage between spouses, or in your fantasies. It's not right to bring people outside your marriage into an emotional relationship.
If you're asking the question then it's likely you're having doubts about where this emotional affair is going. The answer is either "Nowhere" or "Nowhere good". I think you should cool this relationship off. Spend more time with your true wife and renew your love for her. You think that your marriage is strong but maybe you haven't been paying attention.

Answer 3

There is a large, very large , group of people who do not be live an emotional attachment is an affair.
To us an affair requires some fluids being exchanged.
An emotional attachment is not necessarily a good thing but it is just not the same as infidelity.
Sex is an extreme act of intimacy. Without it the attachment is not close to 100%.
So NO, what you call an emotional affair is not an affair nor is it as bad.
At the point that you detect emotional attachment happening you can still figure out what the other is finding or trying to.
A full blown physical affair is over the line and requires a whole different set of solutions.

Answer 4

Yes I am afraid it is the same. I know not everyone uses the bible but it says 'that if you think of a person in that manner, you have already committed adultery.' Whether you believe in the word or not...that is the fact. Furthermore we give a lot more of ourselves in an emotional affair. We share things and ideas that our partners probably have not got time to listen to. We share the inner depths of who we are and share intimately with the emotional partner. They are making time for us and we are making time for them. We are spending far more time with them than our partner at our side. How do you get to know someone well.......by spending time with them!
The depth of the relationship seems very real (if it were in reality, if might be different). The fantasy side of it carries and enormous load and suddenly that person becomes almost perfect in your eyes. I doubt it would be the same if you were to meet them. The fantasy, the unknown, the imagery in ones mind deepens the relationship way above one you are having with a spouse or partner. Whilst you think it is safe because there is no contact, as such.....it is in fact a deep relationship and there is a tying of souls. The marriage cannot remain strong with anyone being put before your partner. Hope this helps and wishing you all the best and a happy marriage.

Answer 5

I think an emotional affair is just as bad as physical cheating. The person who is having an emotional affair is always thinking of that other person. They are wishing to be with this person physically, emotionally, and sexually. Their thoughts are on this person instead of trying to fix thier marriage they are in. I have been married for 5 years been with him for 8 years and I have no need for an emotional affair.

Answer 6

An emotional affair is as bad as--if not worse than--a physical affair...especially if children are involved, which they will be when either type of affair is uncovered-which it inevitably will be when the cat is out of the bag. I would not put up with either in a relationship, much less a marriage, so i really could not answer the second part of your question.

Answer 7

affairs (emotional and physical) happen because the other spouse is probably not making their partner feel loved and secure. If he is having an emotional affair, you can end it immediately by giving him what he needs emotionally. If you were completely honest with yourself right now would you sat that you are a supportive and loving wife? Do you complain that he isn't doing enough? I'm not saying you are bad, or that you are doing anything bad, but the only person who can change here is you...so it is the easiest way to change the situation.

Answer 8

Personally I would find it harder to continue in a relationship after an emotional affair than a physical one. So Yeah I guess it is as bad, or actually worse!!

An emotional affair means that someone has feelings for another person and once a relationship has suffered this its difficult to forgive and move on.

It one thing wondering if someone is playing around but to know that feelings towards you have changed, or they have been feeling emotions for someone else is a real challenge to get over.

The way I see it everyone deserves to be loved not half loved !

Answer 9

I think in some ways an emotional affair can be worse than a physical affair...imagine your fella pouring his heart out to some women, telling her things you think he'd only confide in you - that gives him & that other person an attachment whereas if its just physical its easier to remain detatched from the other women as hes only seeing her to seek out his needs, but emotionally hes involved deeper with that other woman

I've never experienced either first hand, but i have second hand. My friend has been unfortunate enough to fall in love with a guy who after 2 years of dating she fiound he had been seeing another women for 4 months.

He told her he wanted to be with her (my friend), she never really asked the details of the affair.......a further two years down the line and they are married, and she feels secure enough in the marriage to ask what happened during his affair, he basically shared all his thoughts with this other woman, his opinion on how my friend acted, his troubles at work, his feelings over a friend who had moved abroad, and they both grew emotionally attached, he claimed he was in love with this other woman (they had only slept with each other a few times) and would of been with her now if it wasnt for the fact that she had been offered a job in america.
He also went on to tell her that whilst they were going through a rough patch 8 months prior to them marrying he had another woman on the side for 2 months, but this was purely sex.

Obviously she was heartbroken, and it was the details of the first affair that hurt the most.
Their marriage didnt work thankgod and she is a lot happier!

My mum & dad on the other hand....my dad has had two affairs over and 8 year period, both with close family friends, the first my mum stuck by him, the second time she let him go.......now however they are back together, stronger & happier than ever.
What works for some relationships doesnt work for others.

I dont believe a relationship is purely based on trust.....its about being 100% in love with that person & only wanting them....when your thoughts stray...somethings not right.

Answer 10

An emotional affair is the most difficult thing to work through.More marriages end because of an emotional affairs than physical because it involves matters of the heart.You can break a physical connection but it's almost impossible to break an emotional one.