i'm the only child i got married when i was 23 and moved to be with my husband my parent call me ever day and allmost 3 times a day i've been married for 4 years now and they still do it.... they try to run my life and my husband and when it doesn't go there way they get mad and say stuff like i need a new husband and mean stuff like that...
2007-02-04 05:45:09 · 13 answers · asked by nk_20 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Some parents simply can't let go... I know ! I am the mom of an only child and I am dying knowing he is out there on his own. I keep my mouth shut and only offer info when he asks. Its not easy, I soooo badly want to give him advice so he won't screw up but I have come to realize that his screw ups will teach far better than any advice I could give.
Tell your parents right out how you feel. Everyone expects others to read our minds and it just isn't going to happen. Come clean with how you feel. If they won't let up simply stop sharing things with them. I do not mean stop talking but stop telling them things about your life. I have had to do this with my parents and it worked great. They ask whats new and I say nothing though I could talk for days about all the great stuff going on.
Be honest with them and you should feel good getting it off your chest. They deserve your honesty even though they are over stepping their bounds right now.
: )
Good Luck !
2007-02-04 05:56:58 · answer #1 · answered by Kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you get up enough guts to realize that you are an independent adult, you will say to your parents, " Gee, mom, I'm sorry you feel that way. And until you and dad realize that I am an adult, and treat me as such, I am afraid I will not wish to talk with you about this subject."
Had a mom in law that treated her son like this. She was not teachable, but she was trainable, and he trained her that her criticisms of us, our way of life etc., were off limits... When she would get on a tear, he would kindly say, "Mom, I guess you have forgotten.... This is not a discussion I wish to have with you ever. Quite frankly, it is our business, not yours. Call me when you feel better... nd he hung up."
It went on like that for several years until the old girl caught on.
The final straw that really made it sink in: Once she started in on us when all four of us were out to dinner. It was their car. He said to her, "Mom, I'm sure you remember that this was a topic we will not discuss with you. If you bring it up again, we will leave, and see you another time." About 20 minutes into the dinner she started in again, and he said, "Mom, we have to leave now." We got up, called a cab. checked into a motel. the next morning we went to their house, and picked up our stuff, and changed out flight and went home.
She never did this again!!!
You, hon, have got to train her, that the apron strings are cut, she just doesn't know it yet.... if you allow her to continue her sentences, you will never get away from either of them.... Need some more help? write.
2007-02-04 13:59:03 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
truth be told, you parents think they are helping. all parents want for their children is a great life. and you being an only child, they are very overprotective. simply tell you parents that you don't mind talking to them and you appreciate that they are interested in you life but calling so much is an invasion of your privacy. tell them that you are a grown up woman and you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. tell them to lay off the disrespectful comments about your husband. tell them that they cannot decide things for you. if you are happy with this man then your parents should be happy too.
2007-02-04 13:53:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
whats going on is your parents are controling. but the bible says something to the effect that when a man takes a wife and a wife takes a husband they divorce the parents. dont let their controling ways ruin the marriage. from experience it can ruin a marriage you said i do to your husband and he said i do to you. and pray. it helps.
2007-02-04 23:28:37 · answer #4 · answered by I-95 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SEt a rule from now onwards. Call them once a week and if they call you, then you don't have to call them for that week. Don't listen to what they tell you if it doesn't suit you. Think for yourself and don't allow them to control you. You are married and an adult. Act like one.
2007-02-05 02:59:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens because you let it happen. Put your foot down and tell them you will not tolerate them saying negative and horrible things about your husband nor your marriage. Set boundaries, and make sure they are kept.
2007-02-04 13:49:14 · answer #6 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then if you do not want to hear their suggestions then do not tell them your problems. Your parents love you and want you to be happy. If they do not know your marital problems then they will not have nothing to say about it. Cut the apron strings.
2007-02-05 00:05:02 · answer #7 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are just trying to help. If you don't like it, tell them you'd rather deal with it on your own. Don't go to them if you have a problem tho, that sends mixed signals. Good luck!
2007-02-04 14:50:33 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
old habits are hard to break,get a answering machine and don't answer their calls.sounds like your folks are controlling,you have to put a stop to it!!!! give them an ultimatum,either they quit putting your husband down or you won't speak to them.i know it's harsh but it's called tough love.
2007-02-04 13:51:31 · answer #9 · answered by stormy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
dont answer the phone when they call.tell them you are married and it's not their business.you are adults now and can handle things on your own
2007-02-04 14:18:50 · answer #10 · answered by kimandkaitlyn2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋