Do you know of any swingers who have good marriages?

Question

And have been married a long time?

Answer 1

I dunno...Is 12 years long enough to be considered a "long time"? My husband and I are swingers and have a very good +12 year marriage. I know a few couples who have been married 15, 20 25 years and then some and are still happily swinging away. One comment they apparently get quite often is that they are often still mistaken for newlyweds.

EDIT>> Oh, and I just felt I should respond to this gem:

"I think a marriage dies with even having the thought of being swingers."

This is exactly why I can say I have a happy solid marriage and exactly why the marriages of so many others have failed. OMG, people give up so easily! *GASP!* He actually THOUGHT about swinging?! Well then, that's just IT! Pack your bags, a**hole, I'm not putting up with THAT! A PORNO MAGAZINE?? Banish the thought! Out the door you go. I won't be "disrespected" in that way, because I "deserve" every ounce of your attention. You mean you actually made a mistake? You flirted with someone? You made me aware that you are attracted to other people? There's no hope whatsoever for THIS marriage...is there?

All I have to say to this intolerant attitude is...SUCK IT UP, PEOPLE! Life is tough, and it's a contact sport. You're gonna get hurt eventually, so you might as well learn how to roll with the punches. Your spouse is NOT perfect. If you're asking him or her to be perfect, you will always be disappointed. Either you accept them as they are, flaws and all, or you are not ready to be in an adult relationship. All you can ever do is encourange and enable them to develop themselves - their character - to their fullest potential. Help them to be the best person they can be. That includes giving you your due respect. It does not mean you can expect them to live up to some unrealistic ideal where they never ever have sexual feelings for other people ever again.

"You are suppose to love one another and it is two that gets married. I think it just makes matters worse and it ends in divorce anyhow."

I have no interest in marrying anyone else. We just enjoy having sex with other people. Big difference. When are people going to understand it? Love has nothing to do with what they get out of it; it has everything to do with ensuring that the other person receives it.

"Why be married if you two are going to bed with other people."

Because being single was fun, as I recall. Dating IS fun. Now we get to enjoy it together. And we never have to go home alone and lonely. It's something that we share, and my husband is someone with whom I can share that kind of joy and excitement. We do it because we can. That's why.

Answer 2

Asking this question here is like asking someone who has never skydived about skydiving, and worse yet is afraid of heights. All you're going to get is opinions and misinformation based on fear, insecurity, and personal bias. And because they are so afraid of it, they won't listen to the facts or about how it does make some people happy. They don't, and won't, understand the reason you jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

Having been in the lifestyle for several years I can tell you that we know personally many couples that have great marriages that swing on a regular basis. The one's that don't, don't stay in the lifestyle long because their marriage was already on the rocks and swinging just added one more thing for them to argue about.

These are the ones that think having sex with others will fix their already failing marriage. And these are also the horror stories you hear about here on Yahoo! Answers.

We've been married for 7 years and together for 9. We got into swinging about 3 years ago. We had a great marriage and a great sex life. It was because of this we can swing. We got into it to expand on our already great sex life and to live-out fantasies we both had that require more than two people to do. Neither of us are the jealous sort, and we don't think that our whole relationship is built on sex and we don't worry that someone else is going to be "better" and that either one of us will leave for someone else. A loving relationship is built on much more than good sex. If it wasn't we'd probably both be with our ex-spouse's or one of our ex lovers, which we had good sex with too. Obviously that wasn't enough to keep us with them.

The fact is, the average active swinger couple has been married at least 10 years and been swinging for over 5 of them. They have very good and strong marriages. They are emotionally monogamous if not sexually monogamous.

But many can't separate the two so they not only can't see how it would work, they don't want to find out how it can.

For some good, objective information about swinging and how it effects couples from those thinking about it, newbies, and veteran swingers alike, check-out The Swingers Board. You'll find lots of discussions in the forums about everything swinging, both good and bad. And it's free.

Answer 3

We have been together for over 13 years married for over 12. We have been swingers since dating. It started out as merely experimenting while in the military traveling abroad. Well, we still do it. It's interesting with her being BI and him str8 who gets more pussy? LOL Well, we still enjoy it very much and treat it responsibly. However, for us it isn't a lifestyle...it's a pass time, a rainy day thing etc. No intention of stopping now!

Answer 4

I think a marriage dies with even having the thought of being swingers. You are suppose to love one another and it is two that gets married. I think it just makes matters worse and it ends in divorce anyhow. Why be married if you two are going to bed with other people.

Answer 5

Nope..Swingers are usually in a dead marriage or soon to be divorced....
The only multi-partner idea that is relatively safe is the 3some
with hubby & wife & another woman invited by wife...
Wife always invites the other woman, Hubby never contacts her
outside the bedroom...Hubby always participates...
This obviously means that wife is "Bi"...

Answer 6

Many and yes they been together a very long time!
And very happy.

Answer 7

YES, and the couple DID NOT have a good marriage, Bcuz "swinging" isn't included in the marriage VOWS, so what would those people expect?

Swinging is WRONG and a SIN!

Answer 8

no - dont see how sleeping with other people willingly can imporve on the basis of a good marriage.

Answer 9

do u really want another man to have sex with ur wife if u do then u don't love her . what u have if u do it is a lust affair. and it will not last . when u can't proform she will go get it else where . think about it
.

Answer 10

yes i do and no i wont tell you any of the details