I am a perosn with very low confidence and self esteem. How do I improve my confidence level? I am male 30 yrs

Answer 1

...POSITIVE SELF TALK

Answer 2

Low Confidence and self esteem comes from inner mind. Our mind is very manipulative and it wil bend towards those thoughts which you percieve. Its not in the blood or in ur body, but it is your thoughts!!!

In order to gain confidence and self esteeem, you MUST have self respect and positive thinking. Without these two you cant proceed forwards.

You should change ur lifestyle routine. you must do wht interests you rather than wht has to be done. If you spread your wings, and see things around you and learn from them, that will create an impact in your mind. You do have to understand that our past may make us feel as if you are not good enough. But, there always a reason behind everything.

Have positive thoughts, of doing somehting, becoming something and achieving something. remind yourself that you are not less than any other person and never degrade urself in your own eyes.

change in lifestyle and thoughts could help you think better and positive towards future...

Answer 3

Hello,
If you want to improve your self-esteem, here are some steps to start empowering yourself:
Try to stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself. If you're used to focusing on your shortcomings, start thinking about positive aspects of yourself that outweigh them. When you catch yourself being too critical, counter it by saying something positive about yourself. Each day, write down three things about yourself that make you happy.
Aim for accomplishments rather than perfection. Some people become paralyzed by perfection. Instead of holding yourself back with thoughts like, "I won't audition for the play until I lose 10 pounds," think about what you're good at and what you enjoy, and go for it.
View mistakes as learning opportunities. Accept that you will make mistakes because everyone does. Mistakes are part of learning. Remind yourself that a person's talents are constantly developing, and everyone excels at different things — it's what makes people interesting.
Try new things. Experiment with different activities that will help you get in touch with your talents. Then take pride in new skills you develop.
Recognize what you can change and what you can't. If you realize that you're unhappy with something about yourself that you can change, then start today. If it's something you can't change (like your height), then start to work toward loving yourself the way you are.
Set goals. Think about what you'd like to accomplish, then make a plan for how to do it. Stick with your plan and keep track of your progress.
Take pride in your opinions and ideas. Don't be afraid to voice them.
Make a contribution. Tutor a classmate who's having trouble, help clean up your neighborhood, participate in a walk-a-thon for a good cause, or volunteer your time in some other way. Feeling like you're making a difference and that your help is valued can do wonders to improve self-esteem.
Exercise! You'll relieve stress, and be healthier and happier.
Have fun. Ever found yourself thinking stuff like "I'd have more friends if I were thinner"? Enjoy spending time with the people you care about and doing the things you love. Relax and have a good time and avoid putting your life on hold.
I hope that help you.

Answer 4

I am plagued by the same problem, my friend.. I was told that the unconcious mind cant tell the difference between what's real and what we tell it is real... therefore, if i have been telling myself that i am an ugly, fat, loser for the last 26 years then my mind will accept it as true...

i try to do positive affirmations to change my ideas of myself... I feel dumb doing them in the mirror, so I use the scrolling text on my screen saver to write messages to myself... that way whenever i come into my room, my brain reads the screensaver, so im saying to myself "im a good person and i deserve good things", or "i am proud of the person i am" or something like that... i change it every week or so, once i start kinda believing it....

hope this helps =D

Answer 5

look i don't know by which reason these happened but by doing pranayam & exercise helps you a lot and try to divert your mind in other things inspite of go deep about worries there is no matter that always you deep in to problems try came out from that., stay with positive and confidance people.

Answer 6

stop keeping yourself away from people... it is harmful to keep yourself alone... mix-up with people, talk to them, laugh and BE A BIT CARELESS... looking strange? it might be.

it sometimes harms whenever we become too much careful about ourselves... and suspect each one around...

it is human life... live like a human being... do not worry about the worries you have in your mind...

if there are no worries in our life then what would be left in you... we have thinking-mind and our intelligence creates this type of insecurity in our mind...

so, become a part of crowd...

Answer 7

see its not ur fault first of all we all have little shyness inside us which continues to grow inside us if wednt overcome it, same is in urs case u worry dat u r not capable n u can lost it stop listening to ur own lies so much right but lemme tell u stop worrying about things gonna happen next sec but live in present stop what ur mind says whn u want to begin der is a lier lies in ur mind but jus go on wid situations, if u rely on others thn u r bound to accept dat u r incomplete in u n u depend on others to be happy no u r complete n u dnt need any1 to complete ur happiness! dats wat all u have to do. all d best!

Answer 8

Respect yourself, take care of yourself, and think positive.
Exercising increases self- esteem alot!

Answer 9

seriously,
act like you own the world.
be yourself no matter what they say,
dont get mad, get even.
and..
say this 2000 time a day,
I DONT GIVE A ****

Answer 10

Love people this way, and receive this kind of Love from others ! This will help ALOT ! !

“Love vs. Attachment”

What in the world is the difference between loving a person and being attached to them ?
Love is the sincere wish for others to be happy, and to be free from suffering.
Having realistically recognized others' kindness as well as their faults, love is always focused on the other persons welfare. We have No ulterior motives to fulfull our self-interest, or to fulfill our desires; to love others simply because they exist.
Attachment, on the other hand, exaggertes others' good qualitities and makes us crave to be with them. When we're with them, we're happy, but when we're separated from them, we are often miserable. Attachment is linked with expectations of what others should be or do.
Is love as it is usually understood in our society
really love ? or attachment ? or even possibly for some, only lust.
Let us examine this a bit more. Generally we are attracted to people either because they have qualities we value or because they help us in some way. If we observe our own thought processes mindfully, and carefully - we'll notice that we look for specific qualities in others.
Some of these qualities we find attractive, others are those our parents, or society value.
We examine someone's looks, body, education,
financial situation, social status. This is how most of us decide on whether or not the person holds any true value to us.
In addition, we judge people as worthwhile according to how they relate to us. If they help us, praise us, make us feel secure, listen to what we have to say, care for us when we are sick or depressed, we consider them good people, and it is this type of people we are most likely to be more attracted to.

But this is very biased, for we judge them only in terms of how they relate to "us", as if we are the most important person in the world.
After we've judged certain people to be good for us, whenever we see them it appears to us as if goodness is coming from them, but if we are more aware, we recognize that we have projected this goodness onto them.

Desiring to be with the people alot who make us feel good, we become emotional yo-yo's -
when we're with these people, we're Up, when we're not with these people, we're Down.

Furthermore, we form fixed concepts of what our relationships with those people will be and thus have expectations of them. When they do not live up to our expectations of them, we're very disappointed, or may become angry !
We want them to change so that they will they will match what we think they are. But our projections and expectations come from our own minds, not from the other people.
Our problems arise not because others aren't
who we thought they we're, but because we mistakenly thought they were something they
aren't.
Checklist: "I Love You if __________ "
What we call love is most often attachment.
It is actually a disturbing attitude that overestamates the qualities of another person.
We then cling to tightly to that person, thinking our happiness depends on that person.
"Love, on the other hand, is an open and very calm, relaxed attitude. We want someone to be happy, and free from suffering simply because they exist. While attachment is uncontrolled and much too sentimental, Love is direct and powerful. Attachment obscures our judgment and we become impatient, angry, and impartial, helping only our dear one's and harming those who we don't like. Love builds up others, and clarifies our minds, and we
access a situation by thinking of the greatest good for everyone. Attachment is based on
selfishness, while Love is founded upon cherishing others, even those who do not look very appealing to the eyes. Love looks beyond
all the superficial appearences, and dwells on the fact that they are just like us: they want inner peace, happiness, and want to avoid suffering. If we see unattractive, dirty, ignorant people, we feel repulsed because our selfish minds watn to know attractive, intellectual, clean, and talented people. Love, on the other hand, never evaluates others by these superficial standards and looks much deeper into the person. Love recognizes that regardless of the others' appearances, their experience is the same as ours: they seek inner peace, to be happy, to be free from sufferings, and to do their best to avoid problems.
When we're attached, we're not mentally and emotionally free. We overly depend on and cling to another person to fulfill our mental and especially our emotional needs. We fear losing the person, feeling we'd be incomplete without him.
This does not mean that we should suppress our emotional needs or become aloof, alone and totally independent, for that too does not solve the problem. We must simply realize our unrealistic needs, and slowly seek to eliminate them. Some emotional needs may be so strong that they can't be dissolved immediately.
If we try to suppress them or pretend they do not exist, we become anxious, insecure, falling into a depression. In this case, we can do our best to fulfill our needs while simultaneously working gradually to subdue them.
"The core problem is we seek to be loved, rather than to love. We yearn to be understood by others rather than to understand them. In all honesty, our sense of emotional insecurities comes from the selfishness obscuring our own
minds. 'We can develop self-confidence by recognizing our inner potential to become a selfless human being with many, many magnificient qualities, then we'll develop a true and accurate feeling of self-confidence. And
then we'll seek to increase true love, without attachments, to increase compassion, to cultivate patience and understanding, as well as generousity, concentration and wisdom.'

'Under the influence of attachment we're bound by our emotional reactions to others. When they are nice to us, we're happy. When they ignore us, or speak sharply to us, we take it personally and are unhappy. But pasifying attachment doesn't mean we become hard-hearted. Rather, without attachment there will be space in our hearts and minds for genuine Affection and Impartial Love for them.
We'll be actively involved with them.
If we learn to subdue our attachments, we can most definately have successful friendships and personal relationships with others !! These relationships will be richer because of the freedom and respect - the relationships will be based on. We'll care about the happiness and the misery of all human beings equally, simply because everyone is the same in wanting and needing inner peace, happiness, and not wanting to suffer. However, our lifestyles and interests may be more compatible with those of some people more so than with others, and that is alright. In any case, our relationships will be based on mutual Love, mutual interests, and the wish to help each other in life.