i have 2 children and im pregnant..my house is messy *dishes,toys and husbands belongings*..i cleaned the house very well yesterday and he destroyed it and let the kids make a mess as well when he knew i worked hard on it..now him and his friend went to watch the superbowl at there friends house *which is a girl,whom is like a cousin to them both* the game doesnt start til 6 and he is leaving now,leaving me with the kids,the house,leavcing me to handle dinner etc. im crying and stressed now and feeling like this isnt fair..i told him how i felt and he said leave me alone and left..why did he do this to me when he knows im pregnant and its too much for myself to handle alone right now?
2007-02-04 04:34:30 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he's only thinking about himself.. and being that you're pregnant he knows you can't kick his @ss
2007-02-04 04:38:07 · answer #1 · answered by Jessica R 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Well, I'm certain this may not be the first time he's done this. On top of his selfishness, you are very sensitive because you're pregnant. So, a combination of both is why you feel stressed out. You really don't have control of his actions. So, you need to do what makes you happy. If it's the kids, then use this time to enjoy being with them. Don't live for a him. Live for yourself. Life is too short to be miserable with someone that never seems to care. You're not alone. There are women out there that have kids & were able to find someone that's looking for the same thing you are. Don't ever be afraid to leave a relationship that isn't working. I can understand that today is the super bowl but he should at least make you feel good by offering you to come with him too. It seems he likes to run off when things are great at home. You need someone who can emotionally support you. So, really take this time to reflect on his actions. Just relax and what makes "you" happy today. Whatever you do, don't call him. It will just push him further away. Good luck. You'll be ok. Think of your kids & yourself first.
2007-02-04 12:53:42 · answer #2 · answered by bella 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to what you are feeling. I went through the same things in my first marriage. You just have to realize that your husband is very immature, and isn't giving your feelings any thought. Your husband also has feelings and men don't talk about them the way women do. He might be reacting this way because he feels unappreciated.
To make a marriage work its important to remember that both
parties have feelings but men and women are wired very different so we react different. Find joy in your heart that you have been blessed with beautiful children and be the best wife and mother you can without alot of expectation from him.
Let him know you love him and respect him, I'll bet you see a change in him, and he will start showing you more love and respect. Please don't take this as if I'm saying its your fault and your problem to fix, but it takes a strong mature person to make the first move and be more loving.
I have a lot of experience, my parents divorced and I was divorced with two small children. It takes love and a lot of work to keep a marriage healthy.
2007-02-04 12:50:54 · answer #3 · answered by Jacole 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1.) Don't clean the house
2.) Don't make dinner...order in
3.) Call around to family and friends and find a sitter
4.) Go and enjoy the day.
Your husband is being very selfish, but just because you're a parent doesn't mean that you don't get to be selfish, too! Go and enjoy the day. By yourself something nice or go to the spa. Anything to help you relax. Whey you go pick up the children, have take-out with you and when you get home and have fed the children, put them to bed.
When your husband gets home, sit down with him nicely and calmly explain to him how this made you feel. Don't be confrontational, though.
By the way, let the housework go!!! Just for one day if you can!!!
2007-02-04 12:56:10 · answer #4 · answered by KL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
B/C he is being selfish today. Sometimes men dont think about things like that. Just take a deep breath and dont stress yourself out about it. You need to be calm especailly since your pregnant. Let him go to his football game today..when he comes home tell him that you need to talk to him. Then calmly st him down and show him the mess of the house. Tell him that you worked really hard to make it nice and clean and if he's gonna allow the kids to make a mess he should enforce the rule to make them clean it up. If he is not open to talking at that moment let him stew on the couch in the mess and take a personal night. But make sure you get how that makes you feel off your chest. Tonight since your already stressin just order a Pizza for the kids..after dinner make them clean up their messes. You should put them to bed early and go take a soothing bubble bath and relax. Call a girlfriend over and talk it out with her too.
Good Luck..
2007-02-04 12:44:18 · answer #5 · answered by Amy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know his side but when you're pregnant you seem to be a little more temperamental. First of all sit down and have a deep breath. Then after your calm. Call a friend or a femal family member and ask her out for the following day. Clean the house and when he comes back tell him you're going out and you don't want him to call you for the rest of the day. You need some time out of the house. Good luck sweetie!
2007-02-04 12:39:21 · answer #6 · answered by April 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When he gets home, tell him exactly how you feel again. Tell him what you just told us. Tell him how your pregnant with your guys third child, how you already have 2 kids, and you would really start liking some appreciation for what you do, and you would really like him to start helping out. If that doesn't work I'm really sorry but I don't know what to tell you.
2007-02-04 12:41:54 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ Sydd 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Darling, you need some love! Go stay over at your mom's or relatives or close gf's plc. Sorry if I am you, I ll really have a reality check about my marriage. He is nothing but a prick and you dont deserve that. Chin up dear and face this bravely. Do not allow him to treat you like this. Be strong and God bless.
2007-02-04 12:40:09 · answer #8 · answered by Wish 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's very selfish, and doesn't consider your needs. How long has your relationship been like this? I would guess he was selfish from the first time you met him. You can't change him, he can only change himself. Your only option is to choose how you are going to deal with it. Continue tolerating it or give him an ultimatum.
2007-02-04 12:47:14 · answer #9 · answered by Mike M. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my dad. But are you sure he's not cheating on you? maybe i'm just thinking like my boyfriend would do to me. I too am pregnant and when i confront him about cheating on me again he tells me to fu*k off, and calls me a cu*t. and a ***** i just had a miscarriage a month ago because of the stress.
2007-02-04 12:39:12 · answer #10 · answered by dan_and_jeannie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is immature, selfish, thoughtless, inconsiderate and taking advantage of you..
Sounds like he needs a "wake-up" call..
Take the kids and move in with someone for a week or two
until he understands that you can't take it any more..
2007-02-04 13:11:36 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋