how to become a tough minded person?

Question

I think I am having problem saying 'No' , for instance, when I go out with a person. I am having problems saying no when the person asks me out for a second time ..and I am not interested in going out again . I wonder how can I hurt that person by not accepting it ......I know it is soo stupid and i do stand up and say 'No' but i feel uncomfortable....
What can I do to make myself stronger and more sensible.

Answer 1

You must stop taking responsibility for other peoples emotions. Your afraid of hurting people. You can't emotionally hurt anyone, we each choose our own feelings. You may not want to go out with me again, and I move on and feel no differently, whereas my neighbor may feel hurt because you don't like him. By not saying "no" when you want to you are making things worse, with each date people become closer, and the closer people are the more chance we will feel hurt by others actions. Some people don't like me and I don't like some people. That doesn't make them or me good or bad, just human. Our likes and dislikes is what makes us all different.

Answer 2

How To Be Tough Minded

Answer 3

Consider how you are hurting someone by lying to them and agreeing to go out again when you really aren't interested. If someone didn't want to go out with you, would you rather they put on an act, or be upfront with you?

Think about how you would want to be told "No", then role-play it with a friend. Have your friend ask for the second date, and you make the response.

If you have practiced how you will react, then it will be much easier and you will feel less pressure when the time comes.

Answer 4

What might help is getting a a job where you have to deal with conflict all day long. That worked for me. Try IRS or TSA, the two most hated government agencies. Especially TSA - you can listen to everybody complain and moan about how inconvenient everything is... waaah. It'll definately toughen you up after a couple months.

Answer 5

I think you should practice saying no. Don't try and hurt the person, but try to explain nicely. It takes a stronger person to keep another person's feelings in mind than to bluntly yell at them in my opinion. It'll all work out, just be careful. Hope that helps.

Answer 6

The thing to remember is that when you dont say no to someone else, you are saying "no" to you(r own happiness).
It's not about being a tough minded person, it's about knowing what will make you happy. It's not happy to seek self satisfaction first before helping/making others happy. Look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs. The important principle to his theory is that before you can make anyone else happy *a date, family, mate etc.* you must have happiness and self worth first.

Dont think of saying no to someone as being mean to them. There are a lot of people out there to date, and not all of them will turn you on, it's up to you to find the ones that turn you on.

Answer 7

Just say what needs to be said and do not care one bit if feelings are hurt.Remember the old saying sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me.

Answer 8

if u dont want to see the person again what does it matter if ur a little bit mean, being nice all the time people will walk over u, just tell them how u feel and be honest u will feel happyier and not waste ur time or theirs,

Answer 9

instead of saying flat out no be like i will check my schedule or i'll give you a call.
-hope i helped

Answer 10

practice saying no around the house and then you will feel comforatable with saying no..... just yelll
NOOOOOOOOOOOO