My life long friend just filed for divorce. She is only 27 and has been married for a little over a year. Her & her husband had been together about 10 years. They had everything. They had just bought a house and were trying to have a baby. Then my friend found out her husband had been using drugs(which was very uncharacteristic of him) and spent like $30,000 that was supposed to be used for fixing up their house. They tried working it out for a few months but my friend jsut feels so betrayed she cant stay with him anymore. I have a husband and 2 kids so I just cant be there for her the way I want and the way she needs. She always asks me to go out but I usually dont have the time or extra $. How can I be there for her, without compromising time with my family? Also I feel guilty. We both met our guys about 10 years ago. We moved into our new houses the same month, and she was trying to get pregnant before she found out. So its like I have everything that she lost. What should I do?
2007-02-04 03:47:26 · 9 answers · asked by massmama 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honestly, you need to make time for your friend. She needs you right now the most, and she was there before your family. Of course family is INCREDIBLY important but mayb just ONE night a week, you could spend a few hours with your friend. It doesnt even have to b going out, you guys could just spend some time at a person's house watching a movie.
2007-02-04 03:52:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's tough when you go through divorce. But she will need you as a friend more than ever, however, explain that you really can't afford to go out regularly but offer for her to come over and spend time with you - perhaps with lunch or dinner on offer. If she's a true friend she really won't mind just joining you and your family for a meal and evening at home. Otherwise send her texts and call her.
Could you combine meeting her with something else? Eg you both go swimming / walking / to the gym? Having been part of a couple so long it will sometimes be hard for her to fill her days so even something like an offer to go to the supermarket may be appreciated.
2007-02-04 03:55:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first pray long and hard for her.but you can not feel bad that God gave you the right man.now did they really try to work it out or just give up?to find a easier way ?you sound like what they call a true friend .thank you so much from my heart there are so few of you. so can you find her any support groups she might not like the idea at first but she will listen to you, maybe you could go with her a couple of times to give moral support. if she wants they will give her some tools if she wants to work on her or the marriage all anon is just one group wish i could get in touch have more info but you guys will do just fine .remember GOD is your strongest ally. great luck iwill prayfor you guys.
2007-02-04 04:15:34 · answer #3 · answered by JAYHAWKER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to tell her straight out that you will be there for her in her time of need but you cannot go out because of so little money and that you want to spend time with the family. Tell her to give you a call when she needs an ear to hear what she is going through. Just be honest with her she is suppose to be your friend.
2007-02-04 05:40:23 · answer #4 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have her over to your house... Just be a friend and listening ear to her... Have her call you and just talk.... Support her but dont let it jeapordize your marriage and family. She can come hang out with you at your house and this wont cost any money and you will still be home with your husband and family.
2007-02-04 03:53:56 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's just going to want to talk alot and not be alone. Hopefully she has other friends and family too.
Your family should be your priority, but you make time to listen when you can. Don't take sides, don't offer advice, just let her know that you and your family will try to make time to be there to listen and support her when you can. Encourage her to get into counseling if they have insurance, visit her family, etc.
2007-02-04 03:53:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ADVISE HER TO GO TO MARRIAGE COUNSELING. IF THEY ALREADY TRIED THAT THEN JUST DO WHAT YOU CAN. HELP HER AS YOU CAN BUT EXPLAIN TO HER THAT YOU DO HAVE A FAMILY TO TAKE CARE OF, I THINK SHE WILL UNDERSTAND, YOU HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR A LONG TIME. DON'T FEEL GUILTY HON YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEEL GUILTY FOR. ASK HER OVER TO YOUR PLACE FOR A VISIT IT DOESN'T COST MUCH TO SET ANOTHER PLACE AT THE TABLE. HOPE THIS HELPS- WISHING YOU LUCK. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP.
2007-02-04 03:58:37 · answer #7 · answered by SWEET SARAH 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TELL you what you do invite her 4 dinner and treat her like family and she belongs.
2007-02-04 03:51:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do the best you can, she'll understand.
2007-02-04 03:53:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋