My best friend of 14 years was diagnosed with herpes a while back and it has humiliated and devestated her. She has a bad habit of sleeping with people and not telling them until after the fact, afraid that they won't want to be with her.The first guy she was with after the diagnosis didn't care b/c he has such low self esteem anyways and just wanted to stay with her forever. She isn't with him anymore though. After that, she moved onto another man (2 yrs later), slept with him, and lied and said she JUST found out she had it. I get onto her about this but she just gets mad at me. She never wants to tell her partners and then I feel guilty when she sleeps with them b/c I knew. Should I tell her partner if she doesn't or should I just stay out of it?
2007-02-04 03:42:02 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
Yes, you should speak up about it, but only to her. As you are well aware, she is being completely irresponsible by not telling her partners or potential partners. There are ways to enjoy a sex life even with herpes. But it requires education and the willingness to do so.
You mentioned that her first partner after her diagnosis didn't care because of low self-esteem. This is probably the same reason that your friend is refusing to take responsibility not only for her lives, but for the lives of each of her partners and each of their partners as well. Urge her to get counselling for her self-esteem problems and for her resulting life-style problems.
If nothing else works, call your local Public Health department and report this, anonymously if possible. They will contact her for a list of her contacts, and start tracking people down from there. They may also be able to take action of some type on your friend. And you understand what your friend refuses to see - that this is a serious public health problem.
2007-02-04 05:02:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-08-31 14:10:24 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you should not speak for her. But encourage her to speak up about it before she gets intimate with someone. Ask her this do you want someone to get herpes from you the same way you got it? Do you want them to not have a choice in if they contract the disease? Do you want others to feel the way you do? By asking these questions it might get her thinking. I would also suggest her getting involved in a support group and her talking with doctor. While it's devastating and humiliating it's not the end of the world and she is not alone. She is angry right now and is acting out, but she is gambling with others by sleeping with partners that are unaware. I hope this helps and good luck.
2007-02-04 03:49:36 · answer #3 · answered by be happier own a pitbull 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you start running around telling people she has herpes, even if it's true, can get you into a lot of legal hot water. She needs to be educated about using condoms to protect herself from further STDs and protect her partners. Her partners should be practicing safe sex anyway, so it sounds like a lot of people are not well informed. You can't look at a person and tell if they have an STD, so the motto should be 'no condom, no sex'.
2007-02-04 04:00:09 · answer #4 · answered by mamabear1957 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
See if you can find a nurse or someone who works for a health agency to have a talk with your friend.
She could infect a lot of guys and then they will go around and pass it around.
She obviously doesn't care about herself or other people and there is a chance she will pick up other diseases and pass them around too.
Please ignore the idiot who says you are her worst enemy.
2007-02-04 03:57:38 · answer #5 · answered by DECEMBER 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she is a major problem without a real conscience. talk to a health official for some real information and possible way to confront your friend.
could be a possible legal issue against her from someones she's been with.
2007-02-04 03:51:04 · answer #6 · answered by blueJean 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would get onto her about it again. but no its not you decesion to tell her partner she has to do that. but i would just bug her over and over again!
2007-02-04 03:46:03 · answer #7 · answered by Janie L 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
IT. IS. NOT. YOUR. BUSINESS!!!! You are not her friend, you are her WORST enemy. Butt OUT!
2007-02-04 03:47:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋