How do you stop a 12yr old from calling her mom names?

Question

My daughter tells me to shut up at times,
other times she'll call be stupid or idiot.
I don't know how to handle this, I've been
trying to ignore it but it's starting to get to me.

What should I do?

Answer 1

Get yourself an attitude! "You will NOT speak to me that way. If you continue to be rude you will have a LOT of privileges stopped with the next nasty thing out of your mouth. Are we CLEAR on this subject?"

Answer 2

Slap her in the face. I don't hit my kids. But I did slap her once for calling me a b*tch and pushing me. If she thinks that my house is going to become one of those teen run homes on Maury Pauvich - she's crazy. I slapped her once across the face. She look of shock and disbelief was priceless. I felt a little bad about it later but the truth is - there is a line of respect that you don't cross unless you're paying the rent. I didn't do that when I was younger because my a** would have been beaten and then threw out in the street. I don't agree with the way I was raised and I work hard to be a better mother. But I don't think that means that my kids should be allowed to run me or my house. My daughter hasn't offered to disrespect me again by the way. It's a challenge to your parental authority. If you lose it now, it will be almost impossible to get it back!

Answer 3

you need to teach your daughter some respect. she is at the age now where if you do not keep a tight leash on her, she is going to get to the point where she is going to be doing a lot worse things like having sex, drinking, and other things. if you have to, confine her to the house with nothing to do but go to school and come home. keep on doing this to her and see if it helps. i am sorry to say but if this doesn't help, then the next thing i would do is have her spend a day or two in juvenile detention to give her a first hand view of how her life is going to be if she continues down the road she is on. i know that this sounds a little extreme but that may be the best thing that you could ever to for her. it may even save her life depending on how bad she gets. i hope this helps you out. good luck with this. i'm pulling for you.

Answer 4

My stepdaughter did this to my husband. We will not tolerate that behavior. Take everything out of her room the next time she disrespects you except for her bed and dresser. She will need to earn each item and privilege back. Why would you ignore that disrespectful behavior from a child? Privileges like TV, computer, video games, time with friends, phone use, cell phone have to be earned. She should not be allowed any of these things until she cleans up her act.

Answer 5

Have her put a dime in a jar for every time she says any of those things to you, or start taking away her computer and TV privileges. I remember I did that to my mom at about the same age and she just stopped talking to me if I was going to tell her to shut up anyway; it that was effective but it made me very sad.

Answer 6

nicely the actual undeniable actuality that uve exceeded over her isn't good, cuz in her ideas because ur no longer doing something she thinks its ok and that she is the only in administration yet its the oppasite in reality. first, even as she sais it tell her that its disgusting and u gained't settle for that type of sttitude from her an remimd her that u r the only in can charge and then eliminate privleges like staring at television, video games, pals ect.. and if that doesnt paintings then ur daughter favor psychological help.. or if all else fails i crowbar to the pinnacle might want to restoration issues.. lol hahaha lol jks, no crowbar.. yet each and every thing else is nice.

Answer 7

Ignoring bad behavior does not make it go away. You have to be assertive with your children or they will run all over you like your daughter is doing. By ignoring her when she demeans you, you are reinforcing her bad behavior. Take a stand. Tell her what the consequences of her actions will be and always follow through with them.

Answer 8

pick a punishment (a swipe, or squirt of dish soap in her mouth) and stick to it. everytime she says any of the sassy things to you, punish her. you are the MOM, not her friend. she's acting out for what ever reason, and you have to nip it in the bud. if you are out in public, take something away from her. (say you are in macy's, and she smarts off to you, leave the store, and take away phone time -12 yr olds LOVE the phone...) when she was a baby, and "messed" her diaper, you took her to the bathroom, or to the car to change it right?...the same goes here...when she has a "potty mouth" take her to the bathroom, or to the car. you "owe" her a roof over her head, three meals, and some clothes (if you want to be that generous), you do not, however, owe he a t.v., cell phone, name brand clothes, etc. make this a "working" relationship....if you talked to your "boss" like that you would be fired! you are the boss!

Answer 9

You don't ignore it.

You sit down with her right this minute and tell her there are going to be some changes. You will be addressed with respect, or she will pay a price.

One day of grounding for the first "shut up."
Two days for the next
Four days for the next
Eight days...

Seeing as ten would take her up to 1024 days, she';d be wise to learn her lesson quickly.

Answer 10

Do you call her names? She had to learn it somewhere. If so, then stop immediately.

When my son was that age I used two major forms of punishment.

Setting limits and then following through. I would take away his stuff until he stopped the offending behavior.

Also, I used dish soap, but that was when he was little, by the age of 12 he knew he would be in deep trouble for those actions and so he didn't ever mouth back. (at least not to my face).

Answer 11

Ground her. Take away privileges. sit her down and explain to her that she will be punished for getting mouthy and disrespecting you. Ground her just long enough to get her "cabin-feverish." A week works with my 12 year old. Then, if she's anything like mine, a simple "you must not like _______" (fill in something she misses while being grounded or a privilege you've taken away in the past) gets her back on track.