i have been married 4 years and not happy how can i tell her?

Question

HAVE GOT 4 KIDS BUT DONT WANT THEM TO HATE ME

Answer 1

Well i have 4 kids and going through a separation at the moment The kids seem to be adjusting well to the situation! as long as myself and there dad is there for them they will be fine! U need to do whats best for everyone!!! Your wife might be feeling the same way have a chat (without arguing) and take it from there.
Good Luck and i hope everything works out.
Chump (above) if the husband and wife are unhappy then in turn the kids will be unhappy! As long as the kids are taken care of and the dad doesn't just run off and lead a happy and single life, then they will be fine!!! unless you've lived in this guys life you have no right to judge him.

Answer 2

well if you're not happy guess what?she's not happy either.She may welcome the chance to openly discuss what's happening with the relationship.She may be afraid to say anything for fear of rocking the boat,but rocking the boat is just what's needed.You say you have kids and don't want to hurt them ,then do the right thing and go to their mother and sit and talk and don't accuse and work things out.This woman you loved and married is still there and you and she owe this to your children to put your marriage first.Get some couples counseling if you have to ,but give this your all and happiness as a family is possible if the two people involved aren't secretly seeking a way out.Your children will thank you one day for showing them how to love and maintain a family for if not you and your wife then who? Who will teach the children how to go through rough times with those we love and come out more in love than ever ?Try hard and break the curse of easily divorcing and easy separations and cheating.I know it's a lot to put on your shoulders,but wouldn't you like to really experience real family and real partnership with your wife?try.

Answer 3

First, do not ruin your Children's life by getting a divorce. Trust me when I say they will not simply adjust. They will hate you for leaving, and they would have good reason to hate you.
I think if I had 4 children, life would be a lot more...Challenging.

So what is it that makes you unhappy? I would bet that helping out at home more, jumping in and doing housework, helping with homework more, taking the kids to activities without being prompted, would not only make your wife happy, but might even get her in a state of mind...that would make you very happy.

You really need counseling if you do not see, that it is your actions that make you happy, not your situation. have fun with all those kids, because very soon, they will check you into a home and go on with their lives without you.

Answer 4

You want to tell her you're not happy or that you want a divorce? If you're not happy then by all means tell her! Give her a chance to listen to what you have to say and give her the benefit of the doubt to work on whatever it is you aren't happy with. Don't leave her in the dark and say, "I'm not happy, I'm leaving." Leaving, especially with four kids should be done as a last resort. First the talking and trying to work things out, next marriage counseling. It takes an effort on both parties, but if one party is in the dark, then things will never get better.

Answer 5

If YOU are not happy, I'll guarantee you that SHE is not happy either. One of you has to come out with it so you can work on a solution. If you have 4 kids, you probably just need some time away from them to remember what it is about each other that DID make you happy originally. Don't go!

Answer 6

Why not tell her that the both of you need to be in counseling to try and resolve the unhappiness? Unless you are capable of truth, there isn't much hope for you in any relationship.
Why are people always just willing to throw in the towel rather than work on their behavior? She is not responsible for your unhappiness, your happy or lack of it is your responsibility.
You can divorce her but I guarantee you that if you don't work out your own issues you will find yourself back in an unfullfilling relationship with a different set of characters and maybe a much worse situation since the second time around you have even less commitment and patience.
Get help now.

Answer 7

I would resolve the unhappiness, before quitting on my marriage and family. (no such thing as a perfect individual, a perfect marriage, or the perfect family)
Not only will your wife and children be devastated (children do suffer from the reprecussions of divorce) but, the grass is NEVER greener on the other side. Divorce stats and facts will tell you that many ppl who divorce, once, will repeat the same cycle or history: another troubled relationship and another divorce. The only solution to breaking the cycle is getting to the root cause of the issue/problem and correcting.
Let's not forget..........She loved you enough to marry you, she's loved you enough to stay with you (and that includes tolerating you,too), then, she loves you enough to resolve the issue(s)--personal or marital.
Do yourself and family a very big favor: Get counseling!!! (so many do and that's a healthy thing)
I guarantee, you won't regret it for a lifetime!

Answer 8

No easy way to tell her, but living with some one you do not love is more aggravating than being divorced. MAIN questions is did you find some one else ? Or do you expect her of finding some one?The children or young which only time can tell if they will hate you for ever. Do you plan to spend time with them or you going to just leave them. Or you willing to take them with you, or do you expect your wife to raise them? The children already know something is wrong by the way you both react towards each other. It is better to divorce than end up hating each and hurting your children at the same time.

Answer 9

why whats your problem married life not all its cracked up to be what about your wife how does she feel what if she walked out on you and left you with the children the thing is you made these children 4 kids in 4 years not bad going so it could not have been all bad CSA will be on your back like a rash and yes your kids will grow up to hate you because you are a dead beet dad make shore you get a vasectomy before you get with any one else

Answer 10

You and your wife need to sit down and talk about about how you feel about each other. ANd make sure that it's just talking no argueing or yelling. ANd the kids won't hate you if they are involved with the solution. It might be better for them if both of you work it out or get away from each other. But remember a relationship depends on3 things, communication, trust and equality. SO talk to each other and find out what went wrong and maybe you'll can work it out. And remember it'snot about me it's about the who;e family.