It's been 9 days since he's taken a shower. We've had this discussion before and about a year ago, he promised he'd take showers at least every other day. He drives a tractor trailer and is home nights and weekends but he only sleeps about 4 hours a night on weeknights and then sleeps a lot of the night and day on the weekends. He gets home around 5pm to 7pm on weeknights but stays up to watch TV until 11:30 to midnight. He gets angry at me if I mention showers or sleep. He acts like I'm the one with the problem. When we got married he took showers every day. Is there any good solution?
2007-02-04 01:49:52 · 25 answers · asked by zenacat37 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Instead of saying anything to frustrate or piss him off, what if you were to buy him a new and different bar of soap for everyday he missed and just left it in the bathroom. If he says anything about it tell him you started collecting different bars of soap (put them in a large decorative dish that is very visible). Do not say anything about him showering. Stop washing his clothes and see if he notice's, if he does tell him you don't like washing clothes just as he doesn't like showering. Do not wash clothes! I think he'll definitely get the message! Good luck and keep it clean.
2007-02-04 02:21:54 · answer #1 · answered by beamer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh god! You don't have sex with him do you? Yuk I would tell him that either he starts showering or he gets a bed in another room. And no sex. I wouldn't even sleep in the same bed with him. He must smell horrible. This man is probably overworked and exhausted and maybe even depressed. If a person just works and sleeps then they have lost the interest to LIVE . He probably thinks, Why shower I'm just going to go to work in a couple of hours. Is it possible for him to work less hours? Remind him that you love him dearly and know how hard he works but that it makes you sick and you can't stand to even sleep in the same bed anymore that he has to do something.
2007-02-04 02:10:27 · answer #2 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there is, I didn't find it because my husband has done this sometimes too. My feeling is that they no longer care about how they look, or smell, as a way of stating disatisfaction with their life in general and a way of keeping others at a distance. I don't know about you, but I know we have other issues, as well as his work issues. Those are the driving factor here, but if you can't get the man to communicate with you then... you may have to move on to someone who is more of a husband than a stinky roomate.
2007-02-04 02:00:30 · answer #3 · answered by tlc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i'll be honest with you this is really a unique situation. You can just hide the remote and put a note in it's place like 'you could do a lot better with a shower rather than remote' or better you just tell him he stinks real bad and it's very unmanly to be unhygenic, guess it'll work. Men are lazy, I am a guy myself so I know about that, but most men will not to go to that extent of laziness as not to talk shower everyday.
2007-02-04 01:56:53 · answer #4 · answered by sha m 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
These are clear, telltale signs of a major mental illness (unless in his culture this is common)- e.g., major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder, an Autism Spectrum Disorder, etc., etc. Most likely there are other significant things not working in your marriage (lack of affection, poor communication). Consider professional help ASAP. Ignore anyone giving advice about not sleeping with him, denying him affection, acting just like him or something else. See a professional ASAP!!!!!!
2007-02-04 01:58:13 · answer #5 · answered by Wisdom??? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, firstly, how have you put up with this for so long?
Not only is it disgusting, and well, sickening, but its totally unhygienic!!!!
Can you imagine the amout of germs accumulating on his body, not to mention the smell?!
I wouldn't want to touch him with a ten foot pole!!!
Not only that, but what is it doing to your social life? If i were a good friend of yours, i honestly wouldn't want to come visit... it makes your household look like a dirty one!!
I strongly urge you to confront him with an ultimatum... Why should you have to suffer with an unhygienic husband? Either he "cleans up his act", or you're outta there... This is totally disgusting and unfair to you!!!! (and especially your children, if you have any!)
It is very off-putting when a grown man cant take care of himself!
Put your foot down!!!
2007-02-04 02:46:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anfieldgirl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him he is not sleeping in your guy's clean bed let alone getting some lovin until he finds the shower and soap. Lack of personal hygiene is quite gross. Hope he does not go that long in-between tooth brushings too.
2007-02-04 01:57:22 · answer #7 · answered by shaman 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop taking showers as well. Of course, this could become a battle of wills, and if you aren't committed to winning the battler, don't start it. Cut him off in the other department as well until he comes around. Or, offer to take a shower with him everday. If he doesn't go far that, I would be surprised.
2007-02-04 01:55:23 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to tell him straight that he stinks. Tell him how much this turns you off and you are not willing to take it anymore. He could have a depression problem tell him to seek a doctor or some theropist. Tell him how much it turns you on when he smells clean and fresh.
2007-02-04 06:17:05 · answer #9 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're screwed. You said u can't mention "shower" or he gets mad. You are going to have to risk him getting mad and keep asking him to take a shower before being intimate or just any time he smells. If he keeps getting angry, you are going to have to decide between him or happiness.
2007-02-04 02:02:46 · answer #10 · answered by jax0817 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋