How can i get over the loss?

Question

Me and my husband started trying for a baby in june and found out in july i was pregnant im 20 and thought pretty healthy we had a short but lovely pregnancy it was brill being pregnant we were both so happy but at my first scan nothing showed it was ectopic and i had same day surgery to remove it it hadnt ruptured and the docs say everything looked fine and i should think of myself as normal there was no reason infections etc...But its been 6 months now i have lived in hell since we had to wait 3 months to try again by the time we had the all clear my husband had gone in the army for 5 months its been alwful waiting i will wait untill may now and i feel itll never happen for us it was too good to be true i dread mothers day as that was my due day its hard to say howi feel i still buy little baby things in a way its my way of grieving my husband doesent mention it he just says well try again when im back but i feel ill never have one or if i do ill lose it i pine everyday to be pregnan

Answer 1

I am sorry to hear about your loss.. Don't worry you will have another baby.

I speak from personal experience, In 2001 of Oct. I lost my baby girl and I was 5 mth's, I was devasted. I was so depressed because I was half way there and I could not understand why this had too happen too me, also I had to deliver my daughter and I held her in my arms, I should have never did that. My husband said the same thing that your husband said, that we will try again. But at the moment I was not trying to listen too him because I wanted to have this baby not another one. I didn't think that I could go through it again.

Too make it worse I was so upset when are saw ladies walking around with there babies. I kept on saying too myself I should have my baby too.. To make a long story short within a few weeks of my lose I got pregnant and I had a baby girl the following year Nov. 2002, she is so beautiful. So keep praying and stay positive it will happen, I promise you that. Good Luck to you!!!! By the way, my husband is in the Navy...

Answer 2

You are grieving for the loss of your baby and it is important you acknowledge that. I know a lot of people will try to brush your feelings under the carpet but for you it was a baby, your baby, and now it's gone. Try talking to people, have you got friends / family around you? You also are an army wife that's hard too, you have a lot going on at present.

Here's a website to look at

http://www.ectopic.org/

Or if you feel you are not able to move on, go to your GP and ask about counselling or support groups in your area.

I really hope you get pregnant again and that everything will work out for you.

xx

Answer 3

I lost a baby when I was 6 months pregnant september of 06. I could not get that wanting to be pregnant feeling out of me. So I waited and started trying to heal on the inside it is something that you will not get over , but you can deal with it. Think of it as GOD was letting you know that you are able to get pregnant , but then was not the right time. You say your husband is not home now. Maybe GOD knew that he wanted your husband to be there for you, and he was not able to be there. I was due in January 07 and just a week ago I found out I was pregnant. So GOD took one from me , but gave me another. You 2 will be blessed.

Answer 4

It's important for you and your husband to realise you need to grieve, just because you never saw your baby does not mean you didn't love it it and imagine how it would be. I have had two miscarraiges and i had had to terminate a pregnancy because of complications and i never thought i had the right to grieve and carried on with my normal life, but always thinking of the baby that i never got to hold. It screwed me up and i had counselling, and she told me i needed to grieve, so don't think just because you never got to see that baby doesn't mean you can't grieve. I buy flowers on the baby's due dates, that is a way for me to remember them, this may help you. it will get easier, i promise, it does take time, and it will take longer than 6 months to get over your loss. Your husband is also going through the same emotions as you and he will talk about it when he feels ready, but don't let it drive you apart, see if you can have some counselling, it will help you. I wish you loads of love xxxx

Answer 5

My sympathies, that is dreadful. A lot of people won't even appreciate the depth of your loss as they won't see it as a "real" baby, but it was and you need to grieve. Fill your life with other things. Don't forget about your grief but make sure you only give it some of the space in your life, don't let it take over. When your husband comes home you will try again. You now know you are both fertile so it shouldn't take long.

Good luck

Answer 6

I am so sorry for your loss, my wife and I really do feel for you. We have also experienced loss ourselves, we have had a sad experience of miscarriage and still birth but there is hope for you as we are now expecting our 3rd baby and my wife is due on 22feb. I think that you will have another baby but in time, you have been through alot and its bound to have hurt you both physically and emotionally. I can undersyand why you still buy wee baby things bit I suggest that you stop for your own well being as I feel that this will be doing you more damage than good. In time you will be able to buy baby things when you have another pregnancy. People deal with grieve differently but why not see your doctor about some counselling or contact sands they specialise in miscarriage and loss of a baby. Your baby will always be part of you but I wouldnt advise that you rush into having a baby until your feel better within yourself as nothing can replace the baby you lost. My wife and I have a memorial on 'gone to soon' for our baby angels and it maybe of comfort to you and give you another way of dealing with your grief without buying baby things. I wish you luck.

Answer 7

Awwww.... Sweetie. I am soooo sorry. I had an ectopic pregnancy . I found out the day before thanksgiving. My tube ruptured and they removed my right tube. I was heart broken and still am. My due date was July 17th. My ex sister in law is due the day after. I know what your going through..... Most people dont understand exactly what its like. I had a miscarriage before too..... and the guilt I felt with this is unexplainable. If you ever want to talk my email is [e-mail]

Answer 8

Sorry for your loss. I too had a missed miscarriage. And I understand what you a going thru. I have spoken to lots of women that went thru the same thing and they tell me that the thing that helped them was getting pregnant again. Lucky for all of you who have there husbands near them to have anther baby. I on the other hand have a husband but he doesn't want to have any more children. Offcourse we have four allready but with the loss I long to have another one there are days before I get my period that I get depressed feel like something is wrong.

Hope you get pregnant soon.

Answer 9

Well I had a bad experience to my first time around I got pregnant this past June and I lost the baby at 6 months pregnant. I know it is really hard but it will get better. We have since started trying again and I can tell you I just got my BFP. So it will happen I promise. My little girl was going to be born this month. I know it is hard but I promise you will get over it. You wont forget but you will get over it. I hope you get your BFP right away when he comes back.

Answer 10

dont think any one can answer your question on here so sorry for your loss only time can heal the pain you feel I am sure every thing will work out in the end and you will have a child. Please try to stop buying baby cloths I would guess that, that is not helping. Use the time your husband is away to say good bye to your loss I hope and pray every thing works out for you both. Your husband is hurting to i guess