Ok well some of u wouldve seen/answered the first question i ever asked....basically I have been married for 7 months but it is not going well at all. We have been trying for a baby since we married but I recently came to the decision to go back on the pill as it wouldnt be fair to bring a child into the World in an unhappy environment. The problem is....I have just found out I am pregnant. I have rang my hubby (he's at work) and he is ecstatic.
I just do not know what to do now. I do not want a termination. I feel very ashamed. This should be the happiest day of my life but instead I feel so confused. Please dont be sarcastic & critical or mean.....I would just really really like some helpful advice & would like to know what u would all do.
Thank u for reading.
2007-02-04 00:19:10 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Wow.......there is some absolutely fantastic advice here. I cannot thank u all enough. And thank u sooooo much for no nasty comments.
Just want to say to the first person that did comment though - I have not 'missed' any pills - I came off the pill 7 months ago. Due to things not being right between me & hubby, I was going to go back on the pill, although thats too late now.
Thank u so much to u all. I feel alot better after getting all this off my chest & all the brilliant comments/advice from u all.
Thank u xxx
2007-02-04 01:07:32 · update #1
Darling, we all go a bit mental during pregnancy, hormones are flying all over the place! You will have lots of happy times too. When feeling confused/guilty/ashamed/or even depressed, just remember that it is only temporary, and patiently let it pass. Well done you for asking about it!!! I wish I'd had this site to open up to when I was in your situation...
CONGRATULATIONS! xx
2007-02-04 00:40:27 · answer #1 · answered by Nini 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be that, sounds quite strange. The only way you could be pregnant though is if you have had sex, or had sexual experiences with a guy recently. Even if you think you used contraception, it could have failed so the best thing is to get it checked out. Some immature girls post on here "I think i might be pregnant but im a virgin!" this is a waste of time because they know what they've been doing and you cant get pregnant without having sex or having a boyfirned masturbate and touch your vagina. This is a common cause, which people dont realise at first. Its personal to you what you've been doing, but these are the only real ways you could ahve gotten pregnant. If you havn't, then theres no point trying a pregnacy test. You could have a stomach bug or a virus. Try a pregnancy test, and maybe see your doctor. give it time, it might even clear up on its own, it might just be caused by your period, even though its a bit late. Good luck and I hope this has been some hep! =]
2016-05-24 02:38:03 · answer #2 · answered by Rhonda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey girl, I know how you feel. I was in a relationship until recently and I am pregnant by this man. I knew things werent working out about a month after I found out....and although I knew that I didnt want a termination either (like you) I also felt so confused.....lets face it not many women want to be single mums, bringing up a baby on their own. Although I dont believe a baby can solve all your problems maybe you could both sit down and take stock of what the problems are...really address your areas of concern. Since he is so pleased about the baby he may hear your concerns and make a real concerted effort to improve your relationship. I hope you can both do that, but if not and you find yourself in the same position as me...Single, pregnant and terrified then I guess its some comfort to know mothers all over the world have brought babies up by themselves and so its hard but not impossible. I wish you and your husband the best of luck in sorting things out but if not then best of luck to you and your baby...who im sure will bring you soooo much joy x x x x
2007-02-04 03:24:47 · answer #3 · answered by doodlebip 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should not feel ashamed, what you are feeling is totally appropriate in your difficult situation.
Take a breather and try to take control of the situation in a positive way.
You say things aren't good in your marriage at the moment, relationships are never easy, and anything worthwhile is often a struggle.
When hubby comes home tonight you both need to sit down and talk talk talk! Talk through everything you are feeling, allow him to talk through everything he is feeling, try to keep it calm and try to find some common ground. Things are never as bad as they seem.
You have been married for such a short time, this could well be the turning point you have been waiting for, I'm not saying a baby will repair an ailing marriage, but it may well reignite the feelings that may have been hidden for a little while.
Try to stay positive, you have a little life to think about now.
Congratulations.
2007-02-04 00:28:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
7 months isnt long and u needa bit more time to get used to being married let alone pregnant see how u feel in a few months if u think its not working speak to ur hubby or suggest counselling only then shuld u consider ending the marriage but dont feel ashamed. what u said about not bringing a baby into an unhappy enviroment is very considerate but its happened and maybe in time itl be ok good luck!
2007-02-06 12:38:10 · answer #5 · answered by Miss Karen Roe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet you anything that most women feel like this when they first fall pregnant especially seeing as you and your husband are going through a rocky patch.
Are you sure that it isnt just the pair of you getting used to being married? Talk to your husband about maybe having a sort of seperation - I know that this is not the best time to be talking about this kind of thing but as the child of two parents who argued and fought and called each other all kinds of horrible names through out my childhood I would have preferred my parents not to be together than grow up in that awful astmosphere.
Let your husband be there for your baby, but if it isnt going to work out then it wont. There are a lot worse situations to bring a child into.
Good luck and congratulations.
2007-02-06 05:30:47 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Claire - Hates Bigotry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As time goes by you will feel better about it. Its always hard when u first find out u are pregnant because everything is going to change. But before u know u will have fallen in love with ur baby. Its also hard when u first marry someone there is a lot of adjustments to make and u are bound to argue. Just think this is something for u to work at together. I have a friend who once said that there are accidental pregnancies but not babies. And Congratulations on ur pregnancy.
2007-02-04 04:38:16 · answer #7 · answered by Smiley_1714 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Come on. don't be upset now.... it is something you should think positive about. why don't you find the positive thinking about it. You are in a shock right now, so you are feeling down. But slowly slowly as days will progress, you will start accepting the beautiful news and you will start going excited about it! I am already excited for you to be honest, although i don't even know you! Imagine how it is later on, you will start buying things little socks and things... so look at it in a beautiful point of view.
Best is get out a little bit, get fresh air, give some time to yourself to think about this by dreaming the good points...
Life can be scary in EVERYTHING. It can be scary walking down the street, or talking to a new person, or eating something that can give allergy... or worrying about everything that we daily do! Have joy about it, share with your husband, make a small nice dinner to celebrate. ....
Cheer up!!!!! You will be fine and happy soon!!!!!!!!
xxx GOOD LUCK!
2007-02-07 03:52:31 · answer #8 · answered by Spark S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was so confused when I got pregnant as me and my partner were going through a rough patch, (weve been together for 8 years and desided to try for a child early last year), I cried when I found out and didnt know what to do, thankfully though I worked things out as ALL relationships have their ups and downs and we are expecting our little girl in 7 weeks, hes made up and I still cant believe Im pregnant even though I am the size of a house
2007-02-04 06:24:44 · answer #9 · answered by mummy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first couple of years of marriage can be pretty tough, the first is usually considered the worst.... I am going to be completely honest with my answer.....
Firstly, you really need to communicate how you feel to your husband, if you can't be truthful to him then there are bigger problems than you think. You really need to consider whether there is a future with your husband, (do you see yourself with him in 5, 10,15 years?). If you do then great, but if not then you need to assess your situation. The only reason I tell you this was my son was born in a very unhappy marriage, we separated when he was 2, he has never experienced (or remember) life with his mum & dad sharing the same life. I do not for one minute regret having my son, but the guilt I carry for not allowing him to have a "normal family" like the other kids at school does weigh me down at times....
Looking back I should never have got married, I know that now, but I was fairly young and thought I knew what I was doing, to then bring a child into the world and put him through the battles of divorce, no child should go through divorce! It can break their hearts...
Please consider your options, talk with your husband, I do hope that things work out for you and your family!
Good Luck!
2007-02-04 00:59:52 · answer #10 · answered by psycho_faerie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there. Don't worry you are feeling what women have always felt. You are in for some big changes and it looks frightening. So just think of all the women who went before you and be strong. Also be very happy your husband is so excited and don't ruin his joy by thinking about it so much. Go with the flow. I've been married 43 years and sometimes still wonder who is this person I married. I'm sure he thinks the same about me. Don't be so romantic about marriage and it will all work out for the best. Good luck with that little baby.
2007-02-04 00:37:38 · answer #11 · answered by DW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋