Didn't get many answers the first time, so here goes again. I like a girl. I thought she liked me too, and she actually still may a little. When I told her how I felt she said she wasn't looking for a relationship at the moment, but wanted to get to know me better. We talked for the last 2 months. I didn't think I ever came on too strong, but I think she does. She doesn't really talk to me now, and when I apologized, she said we were still friends, but she still acts differently, either mad, or kind of afraid. I think she feels I am obsessed with her, or was trying to push her into a relationship. I wasn't. I never even asked for one. I'm fine with being just friends, but how do I get her to believe me. If I keep trying to talk to her, or apologizing, I'll really look obsessed with her. She'll think I'm psycho! I really want her back as a friend, even if she never wants a relationship. I really like being with her, even just as friends. What can I do?
2007-02-03 23:01:56 · 15 answers · asked by john m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm gonna tell you the same thing I tell everyone in situations like these: back off, give her time, when she comes around then talk to her. You keep pressing it and forcing her to talk to you and you'll push her away.
2007-02-03 23:07:21 · answer #1 · answered by Roxie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is a Christian then this is why she wants you to keep the relationship pure. You have to respect that. Its instinctive for a man to want to further the nation, but there is such a thing as respecting what the other person wants and if one feels strongly enough, one would wait and be patient no matter what you feel. Feelings and Emotions can get one in to trouble and that is all the more reason she wants this process to go slow. Respect that. Its not difficult. It doesnt mean shes rejecting you, it just means she has reason to want to wait. So simply respect that. If you cant you must stop seeing her, but I think you might walk away from someone who has chosen to do things the right way and remain pure. Let it be so if you want her. Love her and tell her you love her regularily. Women need to feel loved. Join her in her faith and grow together the way God would have you do so.
Nothing wrong with doing things the right way. Dont be forceful! Be patient and wait. When the time is right everything will be sweet and right. No questions. DO what is right. Just say sorry thats all.
2007-02-04 07:13:03 · answer #2 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she's pretty well shown you what she wants, so you need to move on. Is it that you didn't get enough answers, or just not the ones you wanted to hear?
Friendships cannot exist with only one person participating, and something about you has turned her off. You need to respect that, (and realize that it might just be her and not you), if you truly don't believe your behavior justified her reactions, then simply respect the fact that she's just not interested.
Good luck, and next time, follow the clues the girl is putting out, that's the easiest way to establish a relationship.
2007-02-04 07:59:52 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm - sounds like "bumper sticker" time here...
"If you really love someone - let them go free... " Okay so, I don't remember all of it but it has something to do with them coming back to you if you were meant to be. Dude - sounds like the woman is clearly trying her best to create some distance between you. If you really care about her - as a friend as you say... respect what she wants. LEAVE HER ALONE... anything beyond that and YES - you do appear to be psycho. If someone is letting you know they want space from you - who are you to not respect their desire for space? Whether you understand it or not.
I think you said it when you said "YOU really like being with her"... so it sounds like your feelings are all you are thinking about. If you are sincere about liking her - let her go her way... time may resolve any issues that were there... but if you keep pushing it - sweetie - you will never have what it is that you say you want - which is her in your life.
2007-02-04 07:12:52 · answer #4 · answered by wonderful1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Back off for a while (2 or 3 months), then call or e-mail her and ask if you can get together for a cup of coffee. Push too hard and you'll drive her further away. And maybe, just maybe, she's not interested and you should look elsewhere. It's a thought.
2007-02-04 07:10:57 · answer #5 · answered by Roberta 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ease up buddy. First ... Never ever apologize. It makes you look weak. Women look for a strong mate. Not always strength of the arms. Women evaluate men on threat, strength, and benefit. You have to be spontaneous without being clingy.
This is what I have taught my wife and my nephews. The nephew that listened is do very well now. To get somebody to do what you want, you have to make them think it is their idea, not yours. Don't ask her if she is ready to date or ready for a relationship. Both of you will know if you are when you are. As far as being friends. She has to see you as a friend and somebody desireable. Girls are friends with guys whom they think might make a good mate but are still undecided.
You have to play chess. Determine what pieces are on your playing board and start moving them around.
How you play the game is up to you. Don't obsess. Never show weakness or the illusion of weakness. Too make your self appealing to a woman you have to appear strong. They don't know why they choose their mate but it has to do with strength everytime. Strength of character, strength of arm, strength of mind, strength of contact and emotional strength. You have to be able to resist damage on all levels. You apologized and appeared weak. You are absolutely wigging because you think you lost her. That is a weakness.
The bad boys get the girls, because they come off as being strong even though it is a fradulent persona. You can manufacture the illusion of strength or just become strong.
Balls in your court.
2007-02-04 07:14:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
she is a very lucky girl because there's a guy out there who's really into her. i hope she sees that......
anyways.. you are a very sensible person.. yes you are right you might be scaring her away.. how about if you talk to her one more time and tell her "i really just want to be your friend cause i really like you and admire the way you are, i dont mean any harm, if im scaring you please tell me"..
maybe you need to back off if she still keeps on resisting you.. then maybe she'll see what she is missing..
2007-02-04 07:08:55 · answer #7 · answered by terra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't force someone to be your friend or your lover.
It seems like you are sending mixed messages to her. You tell her you don't mind if you are just friends, but you don't like it that she acts differently, or gets mad. Someone who has no emotional attachments to someone else won't be phased if that person is aloof towards them, or if they don't talk to them like they used to.
Remember, two months is not a long time to get to know someone, and maybe what happened is she gave it a shot, and she's not interested in perusing it further.
Move on.
2007-02-04 07:05:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is not much you can do, if she doesn't want to be friends with you, then give it a break for a while. After a few weeks phone her and ask her to go out with you and a crowd of other people, not alone. Good luck, I hope it works out for you.
2007-02-04 07:07:20 · answer #9 · answered by celianne 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think you need to back off for the time being if she wants to be friends she knows where to find you.
2007-02-04 07:06:15 · answer #10 · answered by noddy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋