My GF and I have alway had a good sex relationship. I am not sure why but for the last two years it has turned me on when I am ruff or violent with her when we have sex. I don't know why I feel this way but It turns me on when I pull her hair or grab her a little ruff when we have sex. I have told her that I wanted to be a little more ruff with her. Sometimes I want to, pull her hair harder, smack her in the face or chock her and call her a bi!t@h when we are doing it or even the thought of seeing her in pain from me pulling her hair or something. I don't want to hurt her but for some reason the though of doing these things turn me on more then ever. Before I felt this way some years ago I always laughed and made fun of people that felt the way that I do (example, bondage, ect) Am I sick? Is this normal? Does this condition have a name? Has anybody else feel this way? Useful replies only please. I can deal with out insults.
2007-02-03 21:19:56 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Many just call it "the lifestyle" Look, there's a whole sub-culture into BDSM and D/s (Bondage, Discipline, Sado-Masochism and Domination/submission).
There's lots of people in the lifestyle and even conventions for people who want to mingle with like-minded folks and maybe buy some interesting "toys." Don't sweat it.
2007-02-04 16:34:23 · answer #1 · answered by Ms. Steele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Condition? You don't have a condition, you sound like you like kinky sex. That's not a fetish, you are just wired alittle different.
HOWEVER, if your partners are not in consent, meaning that you haven't discussed this with them, and given their permission and using a safeword where they can STOP the scene at any time, then you are abusive and hopefully they will call the cops and have your behind put in jail.
BDSM is a CONSENSUAL relationship, SSC being the standard of any relationship. Safe, Sane and Consensual is the foundation of any BDSM scene, even if you are simply having rough sex play with a partner. Educate yourself, and most importantly, talk to your partner before you do any of the things you are doing. Sexual abuse, rape and domestic violence are not part of the BDSM lifestyle.
In response to a previous answer, a Dominant is NOT always a Sadist and a submissive is NOT always a masochist. In fact true masochists are very rarely submissive about anything. Sadism and masochism are a sexual responses to inflicting or receiving pain. In the BDSM lifestyle, this is consensual, everyone agrees to everything. A Dominant/submissive lifestyle is simply a way of living with set rules and recognition of the natural role of the individual person (not all women are submissive and not all men are dominant). They may or may not include BDSM sexual play in their relationship, and they may or may not have a sexual response to pain. Many D/s or M/s (Mistress, Master/slave) relationships may only include corporal punishment, and not BDSM sex play. One is not inclusive of the other.
2007-02-04 01:41:28 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I honestly hope you do not try any of this with out a few things.. first respect her. No does mean no. Talk with her about it and give her a chance to end it if she wishes. I know someone that has a g/f that needs to take no for answers and might need a good butt kicking.. but that's a different story.
I do think that love is more about kindness and caring. I would never raise my hand to my g/f in any way.
I am not here to insult you I am here to ask you to read about this on a bondage site and to ask you to go slow and be very careful. Some people will tell you to check one place or another and offer you information that is just wrong so please don't rush in to trying things. Choking is too dangerous. You could kill her
2007-02-03 23:50:56 · answer #3 · answered by Chris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're into S&M, or sadomaschochism. This is getting turned on by being a dominant or a submissive partner during sex. The dominant is the "sadist", while the submissive is the "maschochist." This is not the same as spousal abuse or rape, since both parties enjoy this IN SEX. this behavior does not carry on outside the bedroom (however, the dominant sometimes tends to dominate the relationship by being the main decision-maker.)
S&M is very common, though it's not usually spoken of (but there has been a growing acceptance of it. Just check out popular movies like "The Secretary")
Talk to your gf about this, and explain that you respect her and all that, but you have these sexual tastes. Check out websites online and even go to an S&M shop. They are very discreet about their business.
2007-02-03 23:30:03 · answer #4 · answered by roxusan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems that you have pretty much received the answer from the first two answerers.
I have been involved in several variations of this type of play. S&M can very from spanking (prior, during or instead of intercourse) to extreme stuff (24/7 BDSM etc)
Having been on both ends of the whip, I would suggest you fully express your desires to your lover and be prepaired for rejection. If she is up for it, continue talking...about safe words, limits, reversal of roles.
I don't think you should beat yourself up over this(no pun intended). Just be careful and respectful. It may turn out that she actually holds the power in this play. I always felt empowered when turning my lovers on by being slutty. That can be accomplished one on one, in a group, from the top or the bottom!
2007-02-04 00:27:12 · answer #5 · answered by Tinker Bell 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its called S&M, (sado-mas). The ruff sex, the slapping, the hair pulling etc. Its a normal fetish, I have it myself. Enjoy!
2007-02-04 18:23:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember, when engaging in this type of play besides making sure she is into, most importantly make sure she's safe and nothing you do will harm her. A kinky woman is a beautiful thing and should always be treasured.
2007-02-05 08:48:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the pain she screams out is what ur ears wanna hear! the sounds turns u on..that doesnt make u a sad-ist! but if u try to sit with her,talk 2 her calmly before makin love i think it wud help a lil bit..dont worry ur only too much turned on!
2007-02-07 20:19:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is named sando masochism or SM for short ,it is everyday as long using fact the using fact the couple doing it the two agree that it is o.ok.and which you do not scare the guy,you at the instant are not sick as long as you the two delight in doing it then bypass forward and characteristic exciting,yet you're able to understand while to offer up.
2016-12-13 08:28:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋