My grand-daughter confided in me she has bad problems with her dad (he lives seperately) & her mum, who forces her to go to her dad's (so she can get drunk).
I took my grand-child to a solicitor for advice. The police were advised. My grand-child, who is now 15, was happy action was being taken.
Unfortunately, her mum went nuts with me & my grand-child ended up suffering worse abuse from her parents.
Her mum then lied to the social services, who believed her & the dad without investigating! My grand-child was blamed! & (inaccurately) labelled "beyond parentaI control" because she now seIf-harms.
I could not get Legal Aid but I managed to take the matter to court but this has so far achieved very little.
My grand child is now incarserated in a "secure" unit, & they are planning on keeping her institutionalised, with "treatment" for years? Her mum is trying to stop my involvement via the court. Should I now walk away?
2007-02-03 20:20:47 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
space doesn't allow me to put in all the details
I did have a residency order but her mum objected & the social services refused to provide any support
that was when my grand-child, thinking she was worthless, started self-harming
Unfortunately her mum & dad discredited me & my grand-child no longer knows what to believe
Her mum is now trying to stop me from having contact with my grand-child
I feel utterly powerless
the solicitor supposed to help my grand-child is works with her mum's solicitor
2007-02-03 20:57:00 · update #1
FOR: LADY GARDEN:
How very sad for you & your son. A similar tale of woe. My heart goes out to you both. Thank you so much for answering. Now I don't feel so much of an alien!
FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS ANSWERED: Thank you.
2007-02-03 21:24:24 · update #2
No I don't think you should walk away... I think you should do everything you possibly can for this child...
I can whole-heartily sympathise with you where the authorities are concerned... They are utterly useless... They NEVER judge a case individually... Just have a huge brush which says that the mother is always right and every case gets tarred with it!!!
I feel extremely sorry for you... Maybe a way forward would be to try and get some dirt on the mother & father which the police, etc would take notice of and which would prove to the authorities that these people are liars and put an element of doubt in their minds that your grand-daughter could be telling the truth...
Just so you know... I am a father who has a son through a previous relationship... He tells me everytime I see him (every weekend) that he hates living with his mum and that she is nasty to him. I also know that she drinks heavily and has numerous male/female partners who come and go...
I hate my son being there so I tried to do something about it... I phoned the CSA. They didn't want to know. As long as I was paying what I should be, that was all they were bothered about.
I phone the social services. They went round to investigate. My ex is now friends with the investigating officer and goes out drinking with her.
I went to a solicitor to try and get custurdy... They told me I needed a parental agreement to be able to progress and custurdy application so I applied for one... Cost me 2K to send various letters to my ex to get her to countersign it and she didn't respond to any... The only option then left to me was to take the parental agreement thing to court which would cost 5K minimum before we even start with the living arrangements... Needless to say I couldn't afford this...
I have asked the police what would happen if I just kept him with me. I was told that I would be charged with abduction...
So now I have to wait until he is old enough to be taken seriously and then try everything again...
Sometimes this country really STINKS!!!
Good luck with your grand-daughter...
2007-02-03 20:50:29 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Garden 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you love her, you will stand and fight for her. The truth will come out in the end, until then keep faith that there are still good people, and be there for your granddaughter, if you don't she will feel abandoned, and it wont help her. Even if no one ever believes her, she will know you do. She will be an adult soon enough and on her own, and she will still need your help then. Good luck, and I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, its so unfortunate, but always remember you are doing the right thing.
2007-02-03 20:25:47 · answer #2 · answered by ashleynicole452 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can you ask if you should walk away now? I understand you did what you thought was best and you were motivated by genuine concern for your grandchild however, things are now far worse for her and it would be wrong of you to abandon her at this point. Do whatever you can for her even if that's just visiting with her as often as possible, seek legal advice as well as psych advice concerning her mental health issues. Good luck.
2007-02-03 20:30:04 · answer #3 · answered by Jay K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
firstly, poor you and a hug, i cant imagine how difficult this must be for you as i understand that a grandchild is just as importaint to you as your own child. i really dont know what is best to do here, but i am sure, that you most definately should not walk away, by the sounds of it, this little person has only 1 person on whom they can rely and that is you. Be there, offer support and hugs and kisses as much as you possibly can, and in time i am sure that a solution to this awful predicament will arise. Best of luck to you.
2007-02-03 20:26:08 · answer #4 · answered by law 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, My heart goes out to you,and of course your grand-daughter.You have shown yourself to be the responsible caring grand-parent. Dont walk away from her, it makes me sick that her mother who i hate to say sounds like an alcoholic most probably got legal aid and you who has worked couldn't(that's justice for you) Surly the judge will see common sense. Who gives these social workers jobs.... why dont they see through people for what they really are. GOOD LUCK to you and your grand-daughter i wish i knew you so i could help.
2007-02-03 20:36:52 · answer #5 · answered by kevina p 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should walk away at all. Who would your granddaughter have then? You are doing the right thing and need to stay strong for her. I don't know what else you can do, other than be there for her. I really hope things work out and they eventually see what her parents are really like
2007-02-03 20:26:24 · answer #6 · answered by Minniex 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not,you've got to keep on trying. It'll be hard going,but by the sounds of it you've had it hard going already. That poor young lady needs lots more support from you & anyone else that's around. I really hope it works out for you.
2007-02-03 20:27:20 · answer #7 · answered by Lor24 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, i don't know anything about the law and your rights but i do know that you cannot walk away from your grandchild. I really feel for you as it must be breaking your heart but you are the only person that she can count on. You are the only person who believes her. You are the only person that loves her - how can you walk away now its got tough, you're the only one who can fight for her.
2007-02-03 20:35:12 · answer #8 · answered by kellogs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you already stuffed it up for her now the least you could do is stick with it gosh ok well this is kinda hard to believe but then agen i do believe you but if they saw a child who self harms i seriously doubt that they would label her beyond parental control but rather affected mentally by the situation she is in but if this is really happeneing please do not leave this child to face the stuggle alone i am begging you who knows what mite happen
2007-02-03 20:27:48 · answer #9 · answered by M~Lee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do not walk away, in a few years your grand child will become legally independent and stay away from her parents, she must know you'll support her then, and that will give her hope for a better future.
2007-02-03 20:36:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋