married for 2.5 yrs and want divorce?

Question

I am married for 2.5 yrs and want divorce. its an arranged marriage and imcompatiable. But she is very submissive and do not like it. I rather go for the divorce now that we do not have kids than later. I do not want to hurt her in the process and am okay if she hates me. do not know how to approach the matter and how could i get divorce

Answer 1

Before you step in the family court with your Divorce petition think 100 times what you are doing. What I say I mean it. Firstly you have not mentioned your nationality, religion & form of marriage you have under gone. If you are Indian married in India Hindu by religion & married under the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 according to Hindu form of marriage then you can file petition for divorce either by mutual consent where both parties jointly file such a petition under sec 13B of the said Act or by you itself under sec 13 if your case covers any of the conditions for divorce mentioned there. Read them: - 13. Divorce
(1) Any marriage solemnized, whether before or after the commencement of this Act, may, on a petition presented by either the husband or the wife, be dissolved by a decree of divorce on the ground that the other party-

1[(I) has, after the solemnization of the marriage, had voluntary sexual intercourse with any person other than his or her spouse; or

(Air) has, after the solemnization of the marriage, treated the petitioner with cruelty; or

(big) has deserted the petitioner for a continuous period of not less than two years immediately preceding the presentation of the petition; or]

(ii) Has ceased to be a Hindu by conversion to another religion; or

1[(iii) has been incurably of unsound mind, or has been suffering continuously or intermittently from mental disorder of such a kind and to such an extent that the petitioner cannot reasonably be expected to live with the respondent.

Explanation: In this clause-

(a) The expression "mental disorder" means mental illness, arrested or incomplete development of mind, psychopathic disorder or any other disorder or disability of mind and includes schizophrenia;

(b) the expression "psychopathic disorder" means a persistent disorder or disability of mind (whether or not including sub-normality of intelligence) which results in abnormally aggressive or seriously irresponsible conduct on the part of the other party, and whether or not it requires or is susceptible to medical treatment or;]

(iv) Has 12[* * *] been suffering from a virulent and incurable form of leprosy; or

(v) has 12[* * *] been suffering from venereal disease in a communicable form; or

(vi) has renounced the world by entering any religious order; or

(vii) has not been heard of as being alive for a period of seven years or more by those persons who would naturally have heard of it, had that party been alive, 13[* * *]

7[Explanation: In this sub-section, the expression "desertion" means the desertion of the petitioner by the other party to the marriage without reasonable cause and without the consent or against the wish of such party, and includes the willful neglect of the petitioner by the other party to the marriage, and its grammatical variations and cognate expressions shall be construed accordingly.]

14[(1A) Either party to a marriage, whether solemnized before or after the commencement of this Act, may also present a petition for the dissolution of the marriage by a decree of divorce on the ground-

(I) that there has been no resumption of cohabitation as between the parties to the marriage for a period of 15[one year] or upwards after the passing of a decree for judicial separation in a proceeding to which they were parties; or

(ii) that there has been no restitution of conjugal rights as between the parties to the marriage for a period of 15[one year] or upwards after the passing of a decree for restitution of conjugal rights in a proceeding to which they were parties.]

(2) A wife may also present a petition for the dissolution of her marriage by a decree of divorce on the ground-

(I) in the case of any marriage solemnized before the commencement of this Act, that the husband had married again before such commencement or that any other wife of the husband married before such commencement was alive at the time of the solemnization of the marriage of the petitioner:

PROVIDED that in either case the other wife is alive at the time of the presentation of the petition; or

(ii) that the husband has, since the solemnization of the marriage, been guilty of rape, sodomy or 16[bestiality; or]

7[(iii) that in a suit under section 18 of Hindu Adoptions and Maintenance Act, 1956 (78 of 1956), or in a proceeding under section 125 of the Code of Criminal Procedure, 1973 (2 of 1974) (or under the corresponding section 488 of the Code of Criminal Procedure, 1898 (5 of 1898), a decree or order, as the case may be, has been passed against the husband awarding maintenance to the wife notwithstanding that she was living apart and that since the passing of such decree or order, cohabitation between the parties has not been resumed for one year or upwards;

(iv) that her marriage (whether consummated or not) was solemnized before she attained the age of fifteen years and she has repudiated the marriage after attaining that age but before attaining the age of eighteen years.

Explanation: This clause applies whether the marriage was solemnized before or after the commencement of the Marriage Laws (Amendment) Act, 1976 (68 of 1976).

Now see if your case is covered in any of these conditions? It will be for you to give evidence to prove your case is covered in any of the above mentioned conditions. If you can provide evidence to this effect go ahead, keeping in mind the benefits your wife can claim such as maintenance pendentillite during the pendency of the divorce petition & permanent alimony & maintenance at the time of finalization of the divorce petition & issuing of a decree of divorce. Also keep in mind any act of cruelty or domestic violence if ever inflicted by you on her can be an instrument in her hand to take necessary action against you by way of punishment, or monetary compensation under sec 498A of I.P.C. & the protection of women from domestic violence Act,2005.
Now after reading my reply give a deep thought to your proposal regarding divorce to your wife.

Answer 2

You took 2and half years to realise you are incompatible. Have you tried discussing with her. Ok she is submissive, but are you implying that you want someone aggresive. Aggressive in your life or only in bed. Firstly don't fool around marriage is a big responsiblity and divorce a real big step.
Think before what basically you don't like about her. Are these things inborn, can't she change herself on those fronts? If she can then work towards making your marriage work.
Talk to her,it seems you've made up your mind to divorce her. So explaining anything would be useless. But just feel thingsfrom her side too. Not sexual in bed is a stupid reason. Tell her, judge her reactions.
And then hire a lawyer and file a case in the family courts. Since your marriage is more than a year you can opt for divorce.
But plz think about yourself and her too and also what your life will become after marriage and also think that can a few changes in one's personality save your marriage. It may be possible that she also must be having some problems from your side must be accepting few of your habits which she doesn't like. If she can accept why not you. But its your life, you decide.
All I can say is that since you want a divorce and not her do think about her too. Good luck

Answer 3

She's submissive and you donot like that. And taht is the reason you want divorce? Is this all???? Let me put it again - You want divorce because she is submissve? No - Just because she is submissive?

Man you are funny. You shouldn't have married her. Talk to her, tell her taht you are sorry for the stupid decision you made and you need to get out of this.

Once she agrees, go get the divorce and don't ever think of marrying any one. Cos you may divorce the other lady too. you will find one such trait in her and make it a reason for divorce. One can never find a person 100% of his/her choice. Each couple out here have considered and accepted one or the other negative aspect of his/her partner. If you cannot do that, you are not ready for marraige.

:-)

Answer 4

Have you analyzed the reasons why you both are incompatible and are you sure that you can be happier with another individual? If you are sure, ask your wife to be economically self-sufficient and tell her in no uncertain terms that you want divorce. THere is no way you can avoid the hurt that comes with such separations but you can just avoid pointing her faults out and concentrate only on difference in your personalities that made you take scuh a decision in factual tone. Once she realizes that there is no turning back, she herself will be responsible for her own future. You may pay her a lumpsum to ensure that she has some money for herself during the time she establishes herself. Be restrained and formal in your use of words and do not point fingers unneccesarily. This can be the best gesture on your part in such a case.

Answer 5

divorce her? just after 2 years? That's it? u had it enough? have u tried everything u could 2 make her happy? isn't she not happy with u? you could have thought everything b4 u married her. its not a play of dolls marry & divorce just like that. if u married her for ur parents & now don't u love them? won't hey feel bad if u leave her? Don't think love marriages last longer or forever arrange, too last .
Think again about loving her do every thing u can to make her happy & if after some time u still rn't happy then last step is leaving not the 1st one. You took promises at wedding day that 2 will be together forever.
please take a moment to think & try to realize its not much time passed. Give her another chance.

Answer 6

Two people is two different individual. You cannot find the same man, you should accept her shortage. I think you can talk with her, and you should think you love her or not being love her. If you think you cannot stay with her, I think you end this marriage as soon as possible. If you last the time of this relation so long, the hurt will be big and big. She will hate you more and more. Pls action now.

Good Luck and I hope you have better life.

Answer 7

as you say you had an arranged marriage so if you agreed to marry just try to think about thay why you agrred to marry. if you were not given much time before marriage to uncderstand each other then there a solution to make your marriage justt opposite as it is now. take your time and give her time, say about 5 to 7 days and remain cool during this time and make your psychology such as you are living with a person who is the nearest to you and who knows what you are in all aspects of life. tell her to do the same. between this time both of you avoid arguing and forget the past. now think that her parents had given their daughter to you and if you were in their place (father of a married daughter) then what would you expect from your son in law and daughter. as we are human beings there is a small problem with us that we think that our problem is the most crucial than any other person. so please try this thing once go and talk to her and if you don't get any other alternative then both of you take divorce, its easy to make relations but too difficult to make them better as the time passes.

Answer 8

U r married for 2.5yrs or 25yrs?
I think here her character and her tempo is not fine and for tat not only she can be blamed - I mean to say u didnt tell us what u did with out full details we cant judge and say ur wife is only the culprit.
Coming to divorce - U will have to think patiently about this. Did think of ur future after divorce?

Think patiently about everything - thats the only solution.

Answer 9

There's no other way to "approach" it other than to tell her you want a divorce. How to get a divorce depends on where you live; you will have to file paperwork, divide community property, etc. You might want to consult a lawyer.

Answer 10

See u can take her to a good lady Doctor bcx of she cant give any issue dont divorce her take her consult with Dr & do the Laproscopy test find the result easily u fnd the solution . I the solution for u is divorce then y did u maried her & spoiled her life ?

Answer 11

Yes, you are. She is probably someone you see everyday. Stop and smell the roses. Ask an acquaintance out for drinks. She might lead you to another friend of hers, or she might be someone you enjoy. Attend art shows, social functions. Go to church functions. Join the YMCA. Water aerobic classes are full of women . Women are looking for men, also. YOu'll find her.