I know this question sounds really complicated, but what I want to know is if any of you that are married have ever had temtations with a close friend outside of your relationship. I was introduced to a friend through my husband a few years ago. I love my husband to death and would NEVER and I repeat NEVER cheat on him! I am, however struggling with some feelings that I can't seem to get rid of for our close guy friend of ours. I do not know if this feeling is reciprical or not and I don't care. However, I have a hard time admitting to myself that I feel this way, let alone tell my husband or this guy. I just want to get rid of these feelings and not keep thinking of our friend in a way that is not just as friends. Please just give me some encouragement or advice concerning if you think I should tell my husband or talk to someone else about this. I have prayed about this and I trust God will help me through these temtations.
2007-02-03 19:51:12 · 21 answers · asked by runner_chick 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Pray and give it to the Lord. The Bible says to go to the Lord in prayer and give it all to him. Since I have been going to the Lord in counsel, there is such a relief. Just go to the Lord in private and tell Him you are coming to Him as a counselor.Tell Him every detail. Don't just do this for one problem, do it for all. For those things that need urgent answers, make sure you tell Him the urgency. Read your Bible faithfully every day, chapter by chapter. With every bad thought, remind yourself that you have given it to the Lord and you do not have the problem any more. It is not your problem, if it is given to our Lord.
2007-02-03 20:14:41 · answer #1 · answered by grannywinkie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do not ever give in to those feelings and no need to tell your husband. Because nothing has happened, you need to keep that to yourself and here is how you get rid of it:
In your mind play out the whole scenario of you doing the do with the guy and all the destroyed relationships that will happen if you two do it including yours with God as well as the obvious. Even imagine a murder happening because of your hot panties. This is good to practice because if people played out the after effects of bad behavior, it should prevent the behavior.
I heard a pastor say before to play the thing out completely and when you see the end result of sine in your mind, you will be deterred if you have love in your heart.
You do not want to send anyone to hell for your lust episode-so complete it in your mind and the end results should be ugly. Sin when it is conceived brings death! Hope this helps o.k. Not trying to be mean ,but just trying to prevent a Christian from falling and taking others with her o.k.
2007-02-04 04:45:57 · answer #2 · answered by Arene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similar situation only the friend is my friend and I know the feeling is mutual. But like you, I am married and would never cheat on my husband either. I thought that avoiding my friend all together would help the situation, but it only made matters worse. The less I saw of him, the deeper my feelings grew for him. I wouldn't tell my husband unless I really believed our relationship could overcome it. I think the best thing to do is whenever the friend comes around, I would stick close to my husband and remind myself that I am with the one I love and want to be with.and forgive myself for still being human.
2007-02-04 04:11:41 · answer #3 · answered by a17blossom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it helps, talk to someone else about your feelings. I've been in love with another man for almost 3 years and I have to force myself not to think about him everyday. I remind myself that I chose to marry my husband, whom I love, that this is the life I wanted and I got it. I count my many blessings, including my 4 children and 1 on the way. Most of all, I avoid that man like he is the plague. It makes it easier to live with. There is unfortunately no cure-all, wouldn't life be much simpler if we just had an off switch for love? My husband doesn't know and I will never tell him because it would damage the faith that he has in my love for him. Keep praying and play the song "Ten thousand angels" by Mindy McCready. Good Luck, it hurts but it's liveable. :)
2007-02-04 04:00:03 · answer #4 · answered by Brandie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything rash... It is obvious that you don't plan to cheat on your husband and that is good, but you also need to look at the whole picture... Are you a little bored with you marriage? things like that. There are lots of things that can cause this sort of thing, but it isn't necessarily bad. What I mean is, take it as an opportunity to look at your life and make some changes. You don't have to talk to your husband about this crush in ordert o reclaim your marriage, talk to him instead about other little things that need talking about. Refresh the bonds between you, find common ground you don't realize you have.
But don't be so tough on yourself. Your married, not dead. There is nothing wrong with your feelings, you are human, it's what you do with your thoughts and feelings that matter.
Good luck.
2007-02-04 04:13:10 · answer #5 · answered by vvxxzzvv 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes brain chemicals get turned on by inappropriate people
at inappropriate times....Ignore them...
===================================
Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that
a consistent number of chemicals are present in the
brain when people testify to feeling love.
These chemicals include; Testosterone,
Oestrogen, Dopamine, Norepinephrine,
Serotonin, Oxytocin, and Vasopressin.
More specifically, higher levels of Testosterone
and Oestrogen are present during the lustful phase
of a relationship. Dopamine, Norepinephrine,
and Serotonin are more commonly found during
the attraction phase of a relationship.
Oxytocin, and Vasopressin seemed to be more
closely linked to long term bonding and relationships
characterized by strong attachments.
2007-02-04 03:55:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Keep praying and praying. Dont tell either one about your feelings, a fantasy is not worth hurting your marriage over. Keep focusing on all the wonderful things, and what a great guy your husband is. You dont want to hurt your marriage for a fantasy.
2007-02-04 04:06:09 · answer #7 · answered by seven-11 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i was in the same boat for sometimes although I too love my husband to death and will never ever cheat. the best thing to do is just cut all contacts btwn u n this guy. give and receive all the good feelings to ur husband. keep urself busy with stuff
2007-02-04 04:28:30 · answer #8 · answered by Ruby 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stop talking to the other guy. The more you are near him the stroger the feelings may get. Think about why you got married and everything you have gone through with your husband. Trust me. I KNOW why i say this.
2007-02-04 04:18:11 · answer #9 · answered by evilcyn83 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We all have these feelings from time to time. Trust in the Lord and he will change this for you. I know he ca do all things from firsthand experience. focus on your husband and slowly these feelings will subside. I have felt like this at least 3 different occasions and each time these feelings diminished. Take care and God bless!
2007-02-04 04:21:14 · answer #10 · answered by Veronique 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋