Too young for a child?

Question

I'm almost 20,and have been with my boyfriend for about 5 years. We live together and both have moderate paying jobs. ( I also began a savings account several years ago so I could slowly save up for when I was ready to have a baby. My account holds nearly $10,000.) My boyfriend and I have talked quite a bit on the subject of having children now (pros and cons) Part of me feels that I may be ready, but the other part is scarred to death. But ok, here is the twist. My mom had me when she was 18 and about 2years later she developed endometreosis (sorry can't spell) my grandmother and aunt also developed it at an early age. I desperately wish to have children (my doctor says that I'm fertile as of now) but am worried if I wait that I may be stricken with this condition and may become sterile from it. What should I do? Try and become pregnant? Or do you think, despite my reasoning, that I am still too young.

Answer 1

See the only person that can answer that is you.
age at this point "because" your;e 20 has nothing to do with it. Are you guys ,mentally ready? what are your goals? Do you want to get married first? do you have insurance?
Do you want to go to school?
if you using your age as a reason not to I dont think that s a good enough reason. Its normal to be scared so probably even if youwait you will be nervous then too, I know I was. that's not a reason to wait as you can establish a support team during your pregnancy consisting of doctors friends and family,knowledge etc. Are you ready to have a baby? can your boyfriend support you financially while you are out on maternity leave? Is he wililng to work two jobs if that is what it takes? If youre not married do you want your baby to have your Surname? Many things play into your decision....
I think you are focusing on the wrong things and issues.
It is good that you are thinking about it and exploring your concerns though. If you guys want to bring a little one and to take on that responsibility, then more power to you, it is a LOT of responsibility!

p.s you dont have to have formula, nursing works fine and costs less ....

Answer 2

I am for AND against you here. Firstly, I was in the same boat with the endometriosis thing. We got pregnant unexpectadly with our son when I was 23 (I'd only been with my boyfriend 3 months.) As it turned out it was a blessing in disguise, as only 2 years later I discovered I had endometriosis and it was worsening very quickly. I had to have treatment to conceive our 2nd child, then, 2 years later it took us 11 months to conceive our last. So, yes, for that reason, it is a great idea to have them early.
But on the other hand, I think children, if you can, deserve a loving, committed set of parents. I was with my previous boyfriend 4 years also before we broke up. I am SO GLAD there were no children involved. Why not get married before having children? You may not even suffer from endomeitriosis. Having relatives with the condition does not necessarily mean you will suffer also.

Do what you feel is right. I know, personally, if I had of waited until I was ready to have children I may not have had them. But if you feel fine, and have none of the symptoms of this condition, then you don't need to be concerned. Relax, enjoy life, and have children when you are ready.

Answer 3

You ar YOUNG! But there are plenty of women having babies at 16, and they still make it to school everyday and do an after-school job. So, at the age of 20, I'd say go on and have your baby if you want to! Having a baby is a big responsibility, lots of money and you lose lots of sleep but if you want a baby, then have one.

Here is a small list of things you will need
1)A Crib, with matress, sheets, blankets
2)A Carseat
3) Several different stages of clothes (0-3 months, 3-6 months, 6-12 months) it's good to stock up on clothes and get them while they are on sale and even if the clothes are too big, the kid will eventually grow into them!
4)Diapers
5)Bottles, Pacifires
6)Formula - this stuff is REALLY expensive! it's like 13-25 dollars a can, depending on the brand name!! Go with Good Start brand or the generic Wal Mart brand!

This is just a *few* things you will need, but these are the important things for getting started! :-)

If something should happen, and you can't have a baby, then remember you can always adopt because you have so much love to give!

Take Care

Answer 4

I got pregnant at 21... sometimes I feel as if I was way too young, other times I feel completely thankful to be so young, especially when my daughter started walking lol.

It sounds to me like you have all of your priorities straight, EXCEPT for one thing. He's a boyfriend, not a husband. My daughters father and I were together for 4 years, and even with a child together things did not work out. I did find a wonderful man who married me and loves my daughter as much as his own, but still. You have to keep that in mind, are you ready to be a single mother at your age if things don't work out the way you expect them to???

I would say wait until the commitment is there between the both of you before making a life long decision!

Answer 5

Babies are a blessing, I had my first at 20 and my second by the end of the year right before I turned 21. Don't let anyone tell you are tooo young. YOu know if your ready. TO make sacrifices, to cater to small copies of yourself and your love,lol. Children require lots of attention and love and if your life right now does not have time for that, don't feel bad just wait because it will be much better when you can devote your all to your babies. YOu are very young still its not like you don't have time. Keep your options open. Besides Planning a wedding seems like that should come first.

Answer 6

It sounds to me like you are mature enough. My husband and I were 15 when we became pregnant with our first ( I know much too young) and we had our 2nd by 18. So no I don't think you are too young and if there is a possibility you may become sterile young I say do it. You don't want to regret it later down the line when you can't have a child. If you both agree to it then why not?! Good luck!

Answer 7

I am sorry to hear about your fears of not being able to have your own kid. You sound like you really want to have this experience and sound like a responsible and mature young lady. If you didn't have the risk of this condition I def would tell you to wait a bit since you think you may be too young and enjoy your early twenties but considering your situation it is alittle more complex than that. I would recommend that you stay in regular touch with your doctor, look into specialists who deal with this and look into other options you may have... then discuss this with your doctor, boyfriend and family to help you reach a decision. Good luck!

Answer 8

In the end, only you can answer this question. But continue what you are doing and see if the pros out weigh the cons.

But because you are fertile at the moment and you are unsure what your future may consist of, if you feel in your heart that you are ready for a child, then go for it. About 99.9% of human beings are nervous when they are pregnant for the first time. Just be sure you are doing this for all the right reasons.

Good luck!

Answer 9

I have endometriosis and i had no trouble getting pregnant. I have been pregnant twice. My son is 5 and the other i miscarried. You can have surgery for the endometriosis if you have it. I found out i had it at age 19. I had my son at 21. It is up to you if you want to get pregnant or not. Your of age so go with your gut feeling but know this just because your mom and aunt has this condtion does not mean you will.
Good luck

Answer 10

my mom had endrometreosis and she had a huge grapefriut sized cyst on her overies and had everything takin out..she was 23 just a few years after my sister was born..i figure if you are ready,steady, i know that you are feeling pressured from your moms condition,i feel the same way..and i dont know what i would do if i didnt have kids befor i got it and then i couldnt or had problems trying to concive..and to tell you the truth no one is really ready to have a kid..you can practice changing diapers,study for years about kids and really hands on day in a day out is what you have to do to be ready..i babysit for a living 10 hours a day and ive been doing it since highschool.. and i can tell you id be scared right with you...