How do I resolve a conflict with a roommate?

Question

I recently moved back to campus housing a month ago and I have some issues with my neat-freak African American roommate that I need to resolve regarding how often we should clean what we use. Since my apartment has no dishwasher like I am used to, I still occasionally tend to leave dishes in the sink. He tends to leave a few dishes himself. I usually wait a few days to clean up the big messes because of schoolwork. As for the bathroom, I clean it up every few weeks whenever I feel like it. I sometimes don't flush the toilet before bed because I don't feel like I really used it. When he catches me in the act he get on my case. "I was just trying to conserve water." He then says that he can't use the bathoom if I don't flush it. "Whatever!" Tonight after catching me in the act yet again, he said that I cannot use his dishes anymore. I said "Fine!" Please be honest with your suggestions. I appreciate it.

Not racially motivated whatsoever.

Before you decide to judge me as a dirt bag, put yourself in my shoes. What would you do if you had to study tons of information for four classes? Clearly you need to learn as much as you can. I just simply don't have enough time to worry how clean everything is all of the time. And as for the toilet karma, it not worth flushing if you only spit in it. That is 7 gallons of wasted water right there if you listen to my roommate. You just can't waste your life on the small stuff. It is not worth worrying yourself to death over. Now things get cleaned whenever the possibility presents itself but come on, don't sweat the small stuff!

My roommate is being too critical of me.

Answer 1

Just let it go arguments come and go but our spirits go on forever

Answer 2

Whenever you have a situation where two people have to live together, it must be a 50/50 split. Now the bathroom really needs to be cleaned every week. So, one week you and the next him and so on. Dishes in the sink can cause a bug problem, so wash when you are done eating and get it over with. Chances are you two never eat at the same time, if you do then split it too. One day you and one day him, or one cook the other clean. You guys are preparing for your careers, why not also prepare for being husbands. No joke, if you do what you are doing now when you are married, I can tell you it would cause a major conflict. Oh, and not flushing the toilet? NO NO NO flush when you are done, that is sure fight when married. Its also a bacterial festival.
I wish you well, and hope some of this helps you.

Answer 3

I once had a college roommate that hardly ever cleaned...I'm not a neat freak but I do expect chores to be evenly split. Cleaning the bathroom MUST be done at least once a week, and if you take turns cleaning it then you will have to do it every two weeks. Flush the toilet after every use no matter how little you used it. No offence but leaving piss in the toilet is gross...If you are really concerned about water usage then fill a 2-litre bottle with water and put it in the tank..then you will conserve 2-litres with each flush...but that not flushing sounds like you are just lazy to me. If you want to spit, spit in the sink and rinse it away with a glass of water.

Kitchens are a different story. In my case the roommate NEVER wanted to help wash dishes but was responsible for making 80% of the mess. I got fed up with cleaning his mess all the time so I went and bought one place setting (plate, bowl, glass, mug, knife, fork, spoon) and a frying pan and a small saucepan and kept it in a rubbermaid box beside my bed. Id only use my set, after which time I'd wash my own set and put it back in my box. I never cleaned nor used the dishes/pots/pans that were for our use after that. I told him that stuff was his to use and clean, and my stuff was mine to use and clean. It only took one week of me not washing his dishes that he ran out and then he had no choice but to wash his own.

Answer 4

I'm not trying to make a big deal or anything, but why does it matter if he's African American or not?

First of all, you SHOULD flush the toilet. I mean, seriously does that take even two seconds from your life? just flush the toilet and it will make things a lot easier.

As for everything else, you should talk it out and work some sort of cleaning schedule or something along those lines.
If this is a racial issue, you might want to work that out first, if not, talk to him tommorow morning or whenever you can talk to him about it, and possibly appologize as well


Best wishes!

Answer 5

I fully understand your plight. The thing is, urine stinks. It isn't sanitary to leave it. I like to conserve water as well. He is thinking of his health first. I bet he washes his hands repeatedly through out the day. Bugs are easy to keep out. but once you get them. You've got them. They are very difficult to get rid of. You might think about his background. He maybe trying hard not to live in the filth that had previously been forced upon him. I'm rather lax in my cleaning, My mom was very diligent to have everything very clean. A little dirt here and there won't hurt you. It might even help to keep you healthy. I see both sides quite clearly.

When I was working in a fast food place, I cleaned my hands constantly. My hands had never and have never seen so much soap and water. I didn't clean them for me. I cleaned them for the customers. I don't know what they might be allergic to or how sick they might already be.

You might try being a little cleaner for him. I'm sure your arrangement isn't a permanent thing. Yeah, college can seem like a long time. Even 4 years can go by a lot faster than you realize.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

Come on now if your roommate were the one not flushing you would not like it either. When you have your place you can do as you want but if you share you need to keep things clean and cleaning a bathroom every few weeks is not acceptable.

Answer 7

You don't flush after using the bathroom at bed time? I'd be upset by that as well. I'm sorry, but I have to take your roommate's side on that one. As for the entire issue at hand....what kind of rules, if any, are in place for living in campus housing?

Answer 8

im a 20 365 days previous female sharing a house with 3 different adult adult males. as quickly as I moved in with them some months in the past they already had regulations in place. like, no footwear interior the main room, sparkling the bathing room on a typical foundation, chop up the finding out to purchase 4 approaches and so on... not long lower back the adult adult males had a social gathering and left beer cans each the place, stains on the carpet and each little thing grew to become into sticky and muggins right here wiped sparkling up. i tell ya, thats the final time i ever did. i've got been given my very own infant to care approximately. so i sat down while they got here abode from artwork and that i defined how i had to stay in a sparkling place and not take accountability for a social gathering i diddnt even partake. so clarify to him, even in the adventure that your the form of guy or woman who hates disagreement cos i do too, and refer to him the flaws that difficulty you and consistent with probability you are able to the two come to an settlement on the abode artwork. its worth a shot. you will possibly desire to even become solid pals. additionally, my mum offered a ceramic plaque for the bathing room for my brothers, in case you spatter once you tinkle be a candy and wipe the seat. beautiful?

Answer 9

Let me get this straight ... you think that flushing the toilet after you pee in it is being a "neat freak'? That's gross. Is the water in your area THAT scarce? You aren't at the University of Bhagdad, are you?!?

Answer 10

B realistic!!!!!!!! make it ur responsibility,make it like u r in ur own apartment . The guys is soft to u coz if it were me i could have thrown u out long time.If he cant stand the bathroom coz of ur own mess,y dont u just clean it n dont justify the u r "trying to conserve water coz i belive he daent take that! Try to be neat even for ur oun sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 11

I think it would be best if you look at yourself before putting off everything on your "african american roomate"... I would also consider some of the problems stemming from the race boundries that you both may be putting on the relationship.