perants only- would you be mad if you found out that your 15 year old child was having a baby?

Question

how would you react?
what would you say?
would you try to support the your child and her child?
im 15 and 6 months pregnant havnt told my mom,but did tell my boyfriend. im scared to tell my mom because she said she will put me out of the house,

sorry for misspelling parents*

im skinney (120 pounds 5'5) and it just lookes like im getting fat around my uterus. my mom said that when she was pregnant she didnt look like she was so im guessing im like her then

i have not been going to the doctor.

Answer 1

yes i'd be furious. how can your mother not be able to tell that you're pregnant if you're 6 months along? I would not support my child if she ended pregnant at 16. I'd let her live with me and all but she would have to support herself and her child.

Answer 2

It doesn't really matter how any of us would react. It only matters how your mom will react.

Be ready for her to be angry, at least at first. Let her be angry. Give her time for that.

How she will feel after that angry time is hard to know. She may feel sad, disappointed, afraid, worried. Or stay angry.

I don't know what your family's financial situation is. If there isn't a lot of money, that will be a concern for your mom, too.

While you're preparing yourself to tell your mom, here are some other practical things you can do:

1. Go to your local county health department for prenatal care. The cost may be free or minimal.

2. Have a heart to heart talk with your boyfriend. What are your plans for this baby? Place him for adoption or parent him? If you decide to parent, will you parent the baby together? Will your boyfriend have primary custody of the baby or will you? What do you hope your and his parents will help you with?

3. When the baby is born, go ahead and do the paternity test. This may sound insulting at first, but it removes even the tiniest of doubts in everyone's minds about who the father is. You don't want any barriers to exist between the child and his father. Guys' parents and friends say the stupidest things to the guy - better to just do the paternity test and have the issue completely settled.

4. Just in case your mom really will toss you out, do some research on the web for safe places you can live until the baby is born. There are still maternity homes out there where you can live til the baby is born, and for awhile after. A local crisis-pregnancy center may also be able to help you in that regard. Do the research now so you'll be prepared.

5. Check out your state's assistance for pregnant women.

When you talk with your boyfriend, this is a time to talk serious business. This is his responsibility as much as yours.

A heads-up: Your friends will often be very supportive and helpful til the baby is about three months old. And then that support will tend to fade away. Keep this in mind when you and your boyfriend are planning.

Answer 3

Someone I was close to have a daughter who was 15 and pregnant, and the biggest thing on her mother's mind was being worried that something would happen to her daughter because she was so young to have a baby. Most mothers I know who have even grown-up daughters who tell them they're expecting first think about the health of their own daughter.

There are also girls who just can't make themselves tell their parents, and then they have their babies on the bathroom floor some day.

You need to tell your mother. I, personally, would be very sad if I had a daughter your age who was having a baby. I would feel that she would be missing out on a lot of being young. I would be scared too. I probably wouldn't show her that I would be angry, but I'd be angry inside as well.

When my daughter was 15 I used to joke with her and say, "Well - if my daughter had a baby at 15 or 16 I'd say, 'thank you for the baby' because it would pretty much be my baby". Teenage girls most often cannot take care of a baby without the help of their mother.

Just tell your mother and get it over with. If you were to just go and go and then some day have the baby without being in a hospital you could have hormones affect your thinking, and it could be dangerous for you and the baby if you go through delivery by yourself. This isn't anything to fool around with, and you just have to face the music before things go any farther.

Chances are your mother won't put you out; but if she is not a "regular" mother and would put you out you would be able to find a place to stay even if you had to go to the state for help. You're a minor child yourself. Welfare programs would most likely find you a place to stay.

I think - in answer to your question - I'd say nothing for a while. Then I'd ask who the father is. Then I'd ask if she'd gotten any prenatal care. Then I would tell her what the plan is now with regard to what I'd be willing to do or not do when it came to her, the baby, or the baby's father. Some time later when she wasn't around I'm sure I would cry.

Answer 4

As a parent, I at first would be angry-then after I've had a chance to cool off and think about it, I would be disappointed in the fact that you if I was your mother, didn't feel that you could have come to me sooner. I would then have you schedule an appointment with a ob/gyn to ensure that you and the child were healthy and getting proper medical care-that is if you and the father of your unborn child were to decide to carry the pregnacy through-however between now and then, I would present you with information that is to say the both of you, and present you with options-including but not limited to having an abortion (unless the pregnancy was too far advanced which seems to be indicated here) or placing the child up for adoption preferably an open adoption where you would or could still be part of your child's life without the responsibility of having to raise them-being a teen is hard enough, but adding the responsibility of raising a child on your own is overwhelming, as for your mother tossing you out of the house, by law-she cannot do that as you are a minor-and that could place here in trouble with not only law enforcement but also the State Department of Family Health and Services, however under no circumstances should you wait to tell her, she will discover the pregnancy sooner or later, and it would be better to tell her before anything tragic occurs-which could endanger your life-get a medical checkup

Answer 5

You need to tell your mom because even though she may be mad and disappointed in you, you will need her support through what will be a very intense experience. I would react by calling my daughter every name in the book. Then eventually, after crying a lot and wondering what I ever did to deserve such a curse on my life, I would say, 'Let's get you to the doctor' and I would take my daughter to the doctor, fighting the feelings of intense anger and sadness that I was feeling all throughout the appointment.
Would I try to support my child and her child? I guess I would, with anger and sadness and some joy that a little innocent human being was being born and needed me to help because my daughter was so frigging clueless!
Did you think that you were surrounded by some cloud of heavenly angels that would protect your little infant who is growing inside you from bad influences? The doctor would have had you on prenatal vitamins from the minute you told him you were pregnant. He also would have verified the pregnancy and he would be seeing you at least once a month to protect the health of the baby and your health. Has your boyfriend cared as much as the doctor would?
Yes, I'd be devastated by your bad judgement and worried to death that you didn't seem to have the sense God gave a flea. But I'd have to think that the little baby you were going to give birth to didn't ask to come to a situation where his or her mother is so unprepared and so immature. Perhaps you're looking to be rescued - and supported - from your clueless boyfriend. Unfortunately, your mother is probably not going to think he's a prince, either.
Mothers have such crap heaped up and given to them sometimes. But unfortunately, you won't have to worry about this problem yourself for another 15 years! If and when it does happen to you, you'll throw your arms around your mom and tell her that you appreciate what she felt and what she went through with you at 15. It'll be 15 years, probably, for her to know that you 'get it' after all.

Answer 6

You need to go to the doctor right away!!! That is the first thing. And yes i would be concerned if my daughter at 15 was pregnant. My reaction would be to cry. I would support her because she is my child, but she would have to take care of her own responsibilities, (such as a baby) (and going to the doctors) Your mom is gonna find out soon enough. When i first got pregnant i was 16. Thankgod for my mother, because the father was a jerk, and didnt stick around. I dont condone getting pregnant so young, for the simple fact is your still a baby yourself, but i know from experiance. It is very hard. You need your mother for so much especially now, your 15 with baby. You need all the help and support you can get. Good Luck.

Answer 7

In All honesty I couldn't be angry cause I was pregnant at sixteen and had my beautiful daughter at 17. I wouldn't be able to throw her out cause that's what my mother did to me ( Thank Heaven For my Excellent husband - The Father ) And I would support her cause that would be my Grandchild she is caring! But I would defiantly lay down some rules that she would return to school once the baby is born and she has full recovered and for her to complete high school & also look into birth control Just so that once she was finished school she would still have an education behind her so she could than go off on her own and raise her baby all by herself. You can never stop being a parent even if your 15yr old becomes one herself all you can do is become a great support shoulder always let her know your here for her and that you will help her!

Answer 8

Hi, I would be more upset that she was afraid to tell me. I don't know if being older makes a huge difference when we are pregnant and "not married" I was 27 when I "had to tell my mom". I was still scared to tell her. LOL. So, don't let that part stop you. You did not really say how you and your mom get along. I would think that she is not going to be happy, I am sure this is not what she would hope for you... but even if she is disappointed, she is not going to stop loving you or your baby. Try to trust the relationship you and she have, she is still your mom and has the same feelings for you that you have for your baby. You did not say whether or not you were keeping the baby, You may need someone to talk these things over with who loves and cares about you again, the same way you care about your unborn child. But I will think of you and hope all goes ok. Having kids is not easy and you will have to stick up for them when you are scared lots of times. Take care and good luck.

Answer 9

Honey if my daughter came to me at the tender age of 15 and told me she was pregnant I would be upset but not at her at myself because I would feel like I let her down a mother. I would feel like maybe I didn't inform her enough or that I didn't push safe sex enough. But I would be there for her and help her through every step of her pregnancy because she is my child and I will always be there for my children no matter what. I got pregnant a 19 and was afraid to tell my mom(and I am married) I finally mustard up enough courage to tell her and she was there for me through the whole pregnancy. My mom is more than just my mother she is also my best friend. I am 20 now and my daughter is 4 months old, my husband and I would have never made it through the pregnancy without the support and helpful advice from my mom. You need that support from your mom because at 15 you don't know if that baby's father is going to stick around or not! Tell your mom it will make you feel alot better I promise. You really do need to get in to see a doctor I really can't believe that you haven't gone already. You need to go to the doctor and make sure everything is okay with you and the baby because everything may seem to be fine but sometimes things can happen and your body not show signs that something is wrong. I BEG YOU FOR YOUR'S AND THE BABY'S SAKE GO TO THE DOCTOR!!!!!!!!!! I can not stress that enough!! Go to your local Health Dept. or Doctor's office immediatly please! You really don't want to let your mom find out that your pregnant when you go into labor I'm sure she will be ferious with you but what can she do now. You now only really have 2 options adoption or keep the baby . You know she maybe a little hurt that you haven't told her already because most parent's want you to be able to tell them ANYTHING wheather it be bad or good. Give your mom a chance! Most parents do say that they will kick you out to scare you and some parents actually mean it but you won't know if you don't give her a chance. If she does kick you out look for other options such as shelters, friends, and family there are alot of places that will help teen moms.
This is a touchy subject and alot of people are going to really mean and rude but keep your head up you are carring a baby and stress is not good for you or her/him! You and your parents need to figure out what is going to be best for you and the baby!
I hope I have helped at least a little best of luck to you in your situation

Answer 10

well.... my best friend is pregnant too... and she will be 15 this month...

anyway. her whole life, her mom has been so protetive. she said that if she ever got pregnant, she would be thrown out of the house as well as you. so she tried to hide it, and planned to run away with her bf and live in an apartment (the bf had money)
well the bf's dad found out she was pregnant from a guy at the bf's work.... so he came to my friends house, and talked to her mom

so her mom found out she was pregnant. she was so mad at first.. but mostly dissapointed.. she started shaking and crying, and was choking my friend... didnt even talk to her for like 3 days. but then when she calmed down, she said no matter what, thats still her daughter pregnant or not. so she is gonna let her stay there. she isnt paying for anything, but she is letting her live there, and it hasnt really hurt their relationship.

the thing that amazes me the most, is that before my friend was never allowed to like the movies and the mall, etc at night.... but now her mom doesnt care... she can even spend the night at the boyfriend's house. she said she didnt care anymore because what she was trying to prevent her whole life, was her getting pregnant..... and now that she is, whats there to prevent?


my point is... no matter how the parent is, you should still tell them. they will react much differently then you expect.
hope things work out for you.

Answer 11

Go to the doctor RIGHT AWAY!!!!! It is dangerous for the baby AND you! Tell your mom my story: I am 15 years old and already have 2 kids...another on the way. My mom kicked me out of the house and now I live with my boyfriend who is 17...and yes, he is the father of all of my children. I haven't spoken to my mom in 3 years, since my daughter was born. My boyfriends' mom supports us and helps us all of the way. And let me tell you, raising a 3 year old and a 7 month old with another on the way is NOT easy...just raising one isn't easy. It is the most difficult job you will expirience. But I would NEVER give either of my children away for the world. I'd rather be dirt poor than having them taken away. Don't be scared to tell your mom, though. You might as well tell her. My mom doesn't even know I have two kids...she only knows about my 3 year old daughter. I haven't talked to her in 3 years, though, either. Just stick by your boyfriend and you be brave. Stand strong and it will all work out.