I grew up spening money. He is from a blue-collar family and his housewife mom cooked for the family. I have a full-time job with one kid and 2nd one is on the way. He expects me to do more and more. I want to have some fun too.
2007-02-03 16:42:36 · 11 answers · asked by Monimo's Mom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
rent a movie and bring it home and watch it with him... Treat him out to dinner and a move one night and you pay for it.... Spend time with him doing things that he likes to do... Does he work at all??? Are you the one supporting the family or does he help out? If he is not working he can stay at home with the child and be a house husband. Why does he not like to go out?
2007-02-03 16:50:13 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was like you once then I got married had a kid and that was all she wrote.I was young pretty and my husband wanted no one to see me.When we did go out and by out I mean with family members.He would watch me like a hawk I couldn't talk to any men and if one stood by me I would walk away because I didn't want any trouble.I'm telling you this so maybe you will put a stop to it now.I am 54 now and I let my husband rule me,my looks are still there for a 54 year old that is.I can pass for a 40 year old but I am still old.Take control of your own life don't let a man turn you into his mother like mine did.You have just one life and it belongs to you no one else.
2007-02-04 01:10:52 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I recommend a spending plan.
If you grew up spending money, and he grew up watching his parent scrape by, then he will be really nervous if it appears the spending is getting out of hand.
(I believe I know, I am probably a lot like your husband, raised by a single mom who worked two jobs to get by.)
So what you have to show him is that the two of you can afford to spend $X on going out each month, and then never spend more than $X each month going out.
Make a plan, call it a spending plan, instead of a budget, because budget sound so restrictive, where spending plan sounds like you are trying to accomplish a goal. (Which is true, you want to use your money to live a certain way.)
I suspect that if you can get on a spending plan that the two of you mutually agree upon, it will take a lot of the stress off of him, AND allow you to have some amount of going out each month.
2007-02-04 00:51:00 · answer #3 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well see i would go out alone or with my girl friends, but i have no kids, i think the best way is take your kid and your belly out and have fun, go shopping go to the park walk, think refresh yourself. If he doent want to go out have fun in family leave him behind, im like you and thanksfully my husband likes to go out, dancing too and spend some money every once in a while too so i dont have that problem, but definitely you dont have to depend on him to do what you like, Good luck.
2007-02-04 00:51:09 · answer #4 · answered by Alex P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its time to be an adult now you are a mother and wife but you can still have fun you just have to plan ahead more . Trade off babysitting with another mom you trust who has children your the same age as yours. And if your husband doesn't want to go leave him at home and have a ladies evening out.
2007-02-04 00:50:28 · answer #5 · answered by firecracker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are complaining to him about you wanting to go out more and more. He does more too by working and trying to support you and your kid.
Talk to him about going out to dinner some time. For crying out loud, why would you want to have fun when you can have fun with your kid and him at home? Isn't that enough for you already? Otherwise, talk to him and tell him you would want to go out more like to a movie. A pregnant woman should be out in bars and clubs drinking. You already knew this about him.
2007-02-04 00:54:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to him, but if you knew this before you marry
and it was not a problem then the question would be why are
you changing. he not going to he, used to the the mother staying
home cooking cleaning. etc. which is nothing wrong iwth that
but it not like that any more, your stated that you have a full
time job. and one child one coming, he expect more because
that what he grew up with, so you both need to talk about
this.
2007-02-04 00:57:04 · answer #7 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is worried about a big spender wife. You have to show your interest in the family finance and both agree that you have enough savings for emergency, house, etc. If you don't see his point of view, he will only close up even more.
2007-02-04 00:54:12 · answer #8 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does he like to do? Does he like sports? What do you and the kids do for fun? Include him in on things too. Set aside a night a week to go out to dinner by yourselves, have some drinks, go catch a flick, or whatever you two like. You don't have to spend a lot of money to have some fun. Ask him to go hang out in a corn field! That's what my hubby and I used to do...well, what else do you do in the middle of Iowa?
2007-02-04 01:35:21 · answer #9 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he inherited a depression mentality from his parents or grandparents. Any woman that works full time deserves to be taken out on regulat basis. He doesn't want to work all day and come home and work in the house...so why should you............
2007-02-04 00:51:14 · answer #10 · answered by Laura 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋